Personally, I think it's a crime that Jenny McCarthy was denied an Academy Award nomination for BASEketball

I am not saying that just as a flimsy excuse to run this tease-y portrait of her, honestly.

bible-thumpers love to cite this little song-and-dance as proof that men who are attracted to other men are going to hell

Interestingly enough, it would seem that a loophole is at least implied for lesbians, which I'm sure will make many women's sports figures very happy.

But anyway, my old friend Steve-AKA Turner-who was, and presumably still is, as he put it, "an unabashed cocksucker," had the best answer.

He said, "I don't lie with men as with women. I don't try to have sex with women when I lie with them. No problem."

For this joke, I will need you to join me in a trip back to the 1950s. Thenk Yew.

Ahem. "I know, I know-but aren't they all?"

(art by Phil Noto, caption-and eternal, undying shame-by yours truly)

I can't accept that.

(It had been almost 70 days since I'd bashed the hated state of Tennessee...and you understand, I swore a vow...)

So you want to hear "It's Alright" (the Pet Shop Boys version) covered by an indie band from Korea.

We here at Dictionopolis in Digitopolis, as always, have anticipated your every need.

Oh, that's just unfortunate

Kate Beckinsale, who doesn't care for Hollywood superficiality, shows it by attending the SAG awards as a duck Pez dispenser.

If they cast Sarah Michelle Gellar as "Number Two" in the much-discussed film of "The Prisoner," I, for one, will go to the Village quietly.

Finding this image in any way sexy makes me feel evil.

Ok, I have no idea who this is, but-damn!

Random Flickr Blogging: 4188

99% of the time, I'm not one for happy little pictures of dogs...



...but come on.

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The tragic irony was, he had actually been despondent for quite some time, but dared tell no one for fear of losing his business.

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Sometimes you have to spell these things out.

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"I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six snowballs or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself...



...But being as the wind chill is 32 below; this is Ohio, and just one of my snowballs would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

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"We thought it would be funny if we replaced Dottie's bowling ball with a red balloon. Let's watch."

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Wow. Ever just hear a woman's interior scream?

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And what else can I say about this last one but..."Hello, sailor!"

Source

Chivalry is dead

...shorter version of the rules according to these women empaneled by Esquire: Don't bother, unless we need you to, otherwise, butt out.

I love stories like this...

...because they're as predictable as snow in winter. Until last December, there was a man in Salt Lake City who ran a service whereby one could have preexisting DVDs "censored" to remove scenes and language one found offensive.

I wouldn't think there would be a big market for, say, a version of Juno that's all about a teenage girl who gets caught kissing her boyfriend, but again, this was Salt Lake City.

And further, the business no longer exists. Seems the studios (known for their commitment to the filmmakers' vision) and their lawyers didn't care for it.

Oh, and the man who ran said business?

He's been arrested on charges of having sex acts performed on him by 14-year-old girls, for which he paid them.

Seriously. Like snow in winter. The people who yell the loudest about keeping things clean and are the most scared of their own or anyone else's body are always, always, always the ones looking for hot sex in airport bathrooms.

Healthy people like me, however, can tell you without shame that in this picture the first two letters Emily Blunt is in front of stand for Women I'd...

Now if I can only get Robin Tunney or Natasha Gregson-Wagner to wear a Buttercup costume

Your Love Life is Like The Princess Bride

"Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind." For you, love is like a fairy tale - albeit a fairly twisted one. You believe romance is all about loyalty, fate, and a good big of goofy fun. Your love style: Idealistic yet quirky Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Perfectly romantic

What Movie Is Your Love Life Like?

...nothing against Robin Wright, but if we're going for my idea of perfect beauty, which the Princess Bride is supposed to be...

Apparently, I haven't shown Lucy Liu the love and affection she deserves

For comparable dialogue samples, see any given episode of "The L Word."

The script for the TV movie 7 Things to do Before I'm 30, which premiered this evening, made Will & Grace look deep and warm. The dialogue progressed from toenail-peeling, sick-making bad to oh-my-god-I'm-going-to-scream-if-this-person-keeps-talking worse.

The less said about the direction, the better.

As I think I may have remarked here once or twice before, to be a fan of Amber Benson is to be resigned to the belief that she's better (as an actress) than most of the projects she does.

Not that I'm saying she's perfect...although I did find this picture via a website called Perfect People.



And as we all know, you're not allowed to put something on a website unless it's objectively, verifiably true.

This is why I’m proud to tell you I am writing this from my new condo in San Francisco, where shooting will soon begin on my first feature film, staring Liza Weil and Shannon Marie Woodard.

Back to reality... (But I'm so happy here!)

My point is, given good material and filmed properly, she's a standout. Here she's given an overly-cute "rom-com" script, filmed unflatteringly, and she still goes down swinging.

I can only assume it's a collective failure of the artistic community that Benson hasn't been able to follow up on her breakout part as Tara on "BtVS" yet.

I know, I'm gushing. I'm a fan. We're allowed to do that. And I hate to think it's because she played a lesbian...though there is some reason to believe that might have something to do with it.

...why this frenzied chlorophyllous orgy starts in spring is no enigma! We call this quest for satisfaction a what, class?

Makes me long for my old school colors...



I took Sage Vivant's Erotic Personality Quiz and discovered I'm a Student!

What is your Erotic Personality? Find out now..

Best...picture...EVER!

(With due credit to Shiltone at If I Ran the Zoo, who found it first.)

Ok, I'm back to feeling oddly moved by Britney Spears' mental meltdown

I don't know why, exactly. But this picture makes me sad, curse my natural empathy. It just seems so full of...everything that's wrong, not just with her, but with the way in which she is exploited.

I'm not screaming "Leave Britney alone!" here, she profited by her own exploitation and in a real sense, she is reaping what she has sown. But, still...this picture makes me sad.

I think maybe because the above and below dichotomy is so clear. Her face and wig/hair are still the teensiest bit sexy, albeit in a doll parts kind of way. But below...her pants are undone.

And paparazzos are capturing every inch of it.

I'm in the book, Christina

Actress Christina Applegate is so desperate to have kids she’s pressing on with parenting plans without a man in her life.

The divorced Anchorman star, 36, admits she can hear her body clock ticking loudly and insists it’s the perfect time to have a baby - even though she isn’t dating.

She says, "That’s (motherhood) something I really need to get on soon, which is difficult in the current situation.

Look me up, babe. I may not be a lady killer, but I'm pretty and I'll make you laugh...and I think you're funny, too...

He doesn't love you, Tara