Those of you who have my phone number...

You should call me. That's all I'm saying.

FWIW...

...I think the latest Britney Spears "comeback" video is really cute (and she looks gorgeous), but "Gimme More" was a better record.

Hating John McCain: Now it's personal. Part 2.

Washington Mutual implodes? Times are tough. Lehman Brothers is gone? Time for some belt tightening. But Mother’s Cookies? This, my friends, is a tragedy.

The news that the venerable onetime Oakland institution has gone to the great cookie jar in the sky hurts, and not just because it’s yet another sign of how our national economy is about as stable as a flaky flix.

You get that? Because of the economy, for which I blame John McCain, Mother's Cookies has gone away. The only way this could possibly be more unpatriotic is if he'd been caught mugging girl scouts.

Don't tell me it's irrational to blame John McCain for the economy (although his party has been in power for years). This is no time for rationality, we're talking about cookies here!

Mother’s demise feels like the negation of some of the happiest memories of a Bay Area childhood – and is a stark reminder that we aren’t kids anymore. When I think of Mother’s Cookies, I remember hot days at Camp Tzofim in Oakland, with kids drinking Ocean Spray juice out of boxes and singing the Ray Parker, jr. “Ghostbusters” theme song (“Bustin’ makes me feel good!”).

I think I'm going to cry...

What the fuck are you doing, John?

I'm so disgusted with John McCain at this point that I could spit. For me, it goes beyond which party you support. I'd like to think that if a Democrat had behaved as insanely as he has, I'd be just as disgusted with them, too.

Oh that's right...I was. Her name was Hillary. I remember now...

Seriously John, you launched the missiles. You can't call them back now. What the fuck are you doing, John? What the fuck did you think you were doing? Oh my god...

Seriously, I don't get it. That post says:

It's almost a cry for help, with the GOP party faithful amazed McCain could possibly be losing.

How could anyone be amazed McCain could possibly be losing? Unhappy, sure. I can see how a republican could be honestly unhappy that McCain could lose. But amazed? Were the GOP party faithful alive for the past eight years?

ETA this Breaking News:

A legislative committee investigating Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has found she unlawfully abused her authority

OK. At this point, who here thinks that when John McCain heard that he should "vet" Sarah Palin, he thought well, I'm a vet, and I like 'er, that's all I need to know...



It'd be funny if it wasn't still so godamn fucking tragic.

You know what I'm talking about?

I'm talking about Anne Hathaway. Well, first of all, my baby's got some mad skills. You all know what I think of her looks, but in Rachel Getting Married she gives her best performance as an actress I have ever seen.

How can I tell you how good it was? Let me put it this way. Even if this character had not been played by Anne Hathaway, I would've wanted to get to know her.

I can't say that about movies like Princess Diaries 2, which I sit through only because it reinforces my belief that Hathaway is The Most Beautiful Woman In The World.

In the case of Rachel (link's to a Variety story about a screening of the film), when the camera wasn't on Hathaway I indeed did miss her.

But it wasn't because she was the only thing that made the film worth looking at.

Far from it, the film has a quartet of star performances, as well as solid supporting actors down the line.

Besides Hathaway, there's Debra Winger, as her mother, Bill Irwin, as her father, and Rosemarie DeWitt as her sister.

DeWitt is the Rachel getting married.



Kym, Hathaway's character, is fresh out of rehab and, wounds still tender, is thrown into the flurry of a household preparing for a wedding.



I was going to say why I missed Hathaway (with DeWitt at right) when she wasn't onscreen and the answer is really that I had come to care about Kym.

This film is riveting, and my girl can act. I'll be honest with you, before she was making it into my holy trinity (Holly, Kate, Anne) mostly on her looks.

No longer.

You must see it.

Which is it going to be? ...It's up to you. ...Live or die... make our choice.

(being the third in a planned series of four posts trying to write something a little more penetrating about why I think it is that I've become so enamored--some would say obsessed--with the Saw films)

I seem to keep returning to this theme: Jigsaw (John) is a psychopath, but his intentions are good. In Saw III, as (IIRC) director Darren Lynn Bousman points out on a DVD commentary, John shows that he himself is not above his own games.

He does so when his own skull is opened up (with a power drill!) and his brain probed while he remains conscious. All so that the final test of his lifetime can be completed.

This is just one reason why Saw III is the most interesting morally, but also the goriest, of any of the Saw films to date. It examines--probably as much as you can in a film about a psychopathic killer (or two) the questions of action vs. inaction and the right action vs. the wrong action.

To write about why I have to say a bit more about its plot than I have in the first two posts in this series. So if you haven't seen the films and think you ever might, you may want to stop reading.

I'm not gonna spoil everything, but it's impossible to write about what I want to without revealing a few plot points...and the YouTube clip at the end is literally the last three-and-a-half-minutes of this DVD.


You've been warned.

In flashbacks that appear late in Saw III but which take place immediately following the end of Saw II, we see Donnie Wahlberg in a vicious fight with Jigsaw's helper, Amanda, who leaves him for dead.

Still, he might have been better off that way (left for dead) because when he angrily shouts "You're not Jigsaw, Bitch! You're NOTHING!" she turns and walks back to him...

One of the victims of the traps (in the "now" of Saw III) this time around is a woman named Lynn, a doctor whose depression has left her in such a state of inaction that a patient almost dies because she fails to respond to a page.

Her next patient will not allow for such lethargy: It's John Kramer, aka Jigsaw. This is where he has the line:

Death is a surprise party. Unless, of course, you're already dead on the inside. Unless you're the type of person who swallows antidepressants to hide the pain.

Lynn is abducted and a collar is locked around her neck. It's studded with shotgun pellets and is linked to Jigsaw's heart monitor so that if he dies, the shells will detonate. Thus she's forced into a very simple game:

Keep John alive (this is where the improvised surgery comes in) until another victim, Jeff, finishes his tests or she will be killed.

Jeff is a man so obsessed with vengeance he can no longer connect (even with his 10-year-old daughter), after his younger son has been killed by a car. He's kidnapped and put through a series of confrontations with the men and woman he holds accountable for his loss.

All are set in traps that will ultimately kill them unless Jeff intervenes. He's told that if he makes it through his tests, he will come face-to-face with the person responsible for the loss of his child.

His test: Will he save these people? And even if he will, what sacrifices is he willing to make to do so?

One example will suffice. A woman who was the sole witness to the accident that killed his son but failed to come forward. Her cowardice contributed to the light sentence the driver responsible received: Six months in jail.

She is presented to Jeff naked, suspended by her wrists in the middle of a walk-in refrigerator-



--systematically being sprayed with freezing water.

(BTW, lest you be wondering: This is probably the most un-erotic scene involving a naked woman ever filmed. This is quite deliberate, director Bousman took pains not to shoot her provocatively, but to emphasize the woman's vulnerability and humanity--Debra Lynne McCabe's performance doesn't hurt either)

She will die in a matter of minutes unless Jeff chooses to free her. What would you do? Although he hesitates, he ultimately tries to save her. But in order to reach the key that will do so, he must press his own cheek against an icy pipe, where it sticks to the ice and he must tear a chunk off of his own skin in order to get away.

When he comes face-to-face with John Kramer at the end, Jeff's actions cause Jigsaw to ask, scoffing:

You haven't learned anything tonight, have you? Your rage and your vengeance will only hurt the ones you love.

John then offers one final test, as he lies there, evidently helpless in a hospital bed: Will Jeff take the opportunity to kill him, or not?

See what I mean? Action. Inaction. The right action. The wrong action...

I ask again

...why isn't NBC doing more to promote "Life?" I mean, it's not like the show is exactly hurting for stars people would (if you will forgive me the crudity) want to fuck...



Lots more photos of the incredibly undesirable Sarah Shahi.

On that point, Mr. McCain, I agree completely

Republican presidential candidate John McCain said Thursday that questions about Democratic rival Barack Obama's association with a former war protester linked to Vietnam-era bombings are part of a broader issue of honesty.

Well, he's right. They are part of a broader issue of honesty. But not Obama's. McCain's.

At this point, John McCain calling you dishonest is like Barack Obama saying you have big ears.

Oh yes...

Wondering about that "overhead projector" John McCain seemed oddly obsessed with at Tuesday's debate? In case you've forgotten (or, quite possibly more sensibly, didn't watch): At two different points during the debate McCain, seeking to paint Obama as just another tax-n-spend Democrat, used this example.

McCain: [Obama] voted for nearly a billion dollars in pork barrel earmark projects, including, by the way, $3 million for an overhead projector at a planetarium in Chicago, Illinois. My friends, do we need to spend that kind of money?

Well, that sounds outrageous, of course. Especially since I don't know about you, but to me "overhead projector" conjures images of the kind they used to use for science slidehows in high school. Well, funny story. Turns out (what were the odds?) there was a little more to it than that...

-Prefab Sprout, "The Ice Maiden"

Ice Queen
Originally uploaded by Vickie Shan

But death is a small price for heaven

All those nights I dreamt of you

I wonder where they've gone

From behind
Originally uploaded by Vickie Shan

Girl when I burn - Hell nothing's the same

I'll singe your pretty blonde lashes

We're talking fire - We're talking flame

We're talking ice into ashes

Can we impeach them noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow?

Yeah, I know. We can't for some reason. But I can't watch the conservative movement being crushed beneath the wheels of history with as much joy as I might like. Because I can't help thinking how much pain the American people might've been spared if the fucking liberals had just impeached those Republican motherfucks a couple years back.

Faces and figures

Holy mother of all things pretty...

1. I've said it before, I'll say it again:



Lindsay Lohan actually owns no undergarments of any kind.

2. Penelope Cruz. Walking along the seaside; coming into the water. In a bikini.





3. I'd like to go out on a limb here, and say that I think Adriana Lima is as cute as a bunny. Who's with me?

This is a good day for sexy star ads

1. Smartest, sexiest "Vote" ad ever.



All together now: Aww, Kristen Bell...

2. Hilary Duff clearly wants to return to my loving embrace. She's cut a silly (and I mean that as a good thing) PSA asking young people not to say "gay" when they mean "bad."

Yesterday, before the debate...

...Cindy McCain told a Tennessee newspaper that Barack Obama

has waged the "dirtiest campaign in American history."

For those of you playing at home...

That means that Cindy McCain thinks the Obama campaign against her husband this year has been dirtier than the Bush campaign against him in 2000.

You know, that was the one where they slimed John McCain by implying that the black little girl he adopted with Cindy was actually the product of his being unfaithful to her.

Barack Obama, on the other hand, has been reminding people that John McCain was part of the "Keating Five."

Boy, what a sleaze.

And I don't mean Barack Obama.

I've run out of even somewhat discreet ways in which to say this

Sweet Christ, but Eva Amurri has some sexy tits.

Ok, granted, pretty much all tits are sexy...but Eva Amurri's really working with something special.

And as if that weren't enough, would you look at her fucking eyes?

If I started listing all the things I'd like to do to and with her body...we'd be here another four hours, so we would...

I tell ya, if I was in the market to redecorate a bedroom...

More on the debate

1. From Mark Evanier, who I quote below in toto:

The one great thing about a gathering like this is that it gives us the opportunity to come together as a people. For instance, right about now, I'm sure that everyone watching would like to slap Tom Brokaw.

Tell it, brother.

2. CNN's "Political Ticker" blog has some good Fact Check posts on claims made during the debate. McCain's assertion to have stood up to Ronald Reagan once scores as true, for example. His attacking of Obama as in the tank for Freddie and Fannie, not so much.

3.

The age gap between the two men - McCain is 72 and Obama is 47 - has seldom been as obvious. The Republican, asked how the economic crisis would affect the three top priorities of his administration, appeared unable to remember what they were and jotted down a note.

4. In case you were wondering--I know I was--while they were in Tennessee, yes, Obama and Michelle did drop in on Al and Tipper.

"I am so excited about what is lying ahead for our country," Gore said. But he cautioned that "We can't take anything for granted. We've got a lot of hard work to do."

"But ladies and gentlemen, I take such pleasure and pride in saying these words: The next president of the United States of America, Barack Obama!" Gore said.

5. BTW, I know none are scientific, so I'm not making any claims for their predictions, but I find it interesting that when I checked, Obama was winning 99% of the internet the "Who won the second presidential debate in Nashville?" polls--including Fox News and Town Hall.

Funny Colbert article

In HuffPo. It's about him, not by him, but it does quote him frequently, and his wife once or twice too.

If you listen to NPR, watch Keith Olbermann or Stephen Colbert, you may have heard this month about a polling site called FiveThirtyEight.com.

Their shtick is that they're supposed to be pretty accurate, crunching numbers from all the various polls and correcting for any inaccuracies.

(I say "supposed to be," because it's numbers; so how the fuck do I know?)

Anyway, a couple of the guys who run the site were in Nashville tonight "liveblogging" the debate. They thought Obama clearly won, but McCain did better than he did at the first debate. That's what I think, too.

But that isn't what I wanted to share with you. I wanted to share with you this paragraph on their experience in the host state:

By the way, a special shout out for an absolutely horrible experience on the campus of Belmont University. I'm not sure I've ever been to a less welcoming place. We hated this campus and the staff here so much that we left to watch the debate at a pizza joint. I don't like to regret things, but it would be hard to overstate how terrible a day this has been, and how crappy every interaction we had in Tennessee was.

Some things never change.