Oh yes...There Will Be Blood references.

Let's talk about some more podcasts.

The Nerdist Writers Panel is from the "channel" that brings you the Nerdist show itself, Making It, The JV Club and Pop My Culture.  Among two or three others that have been or will be featured in this irregular series.

(Speaking of the JV Club, I was name-checked again in the intro to the new April Richardson episode.  This is exactly twice as many times as I have been mentioned on any other podcast.  My heart is full of pride.  And blood.)

Between you and me, I don't really know what this "network affiliation" brings to the shows apart from the chimes and "Now entering Nerdist.com" opening tag, but what the hell.  What this one is about kind of speaks for itself, it comes billed as "an informal chat" between writers.

Unfortunately, sometimes they're so informal that it's to the show's detriment.  It helps when they have guests who are performers as well as writers.  Such as Dana Gould, who won an Emmy for The Simpsons, but is also a comic whose lines I've been quoting for more than a decade.

 ("We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood.  But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there.")

(Second blood reference.  This may be cause for concern.)

Recommended episode: Dana Gould, Liz Tigelaar, Robert Hewitt Wolfe

The Sex Nerd Sandra show, also a fine product of Nerdist Industries, is for people who want interesting talk about vibrators, sexual preferences and proclivities, sex itself and the like.  And honestly, who doesn't?  Within that parameter, the nature of the show is fairly flexible (as is sex itself).

It's also one of those which seems to benefit from the audience at the occasional live shows (as does sex itse...no no, I'm kidding.  For me, anyway).  That opinion may surprise the Sex Nerd herself, who has commented more than once that she is terribly nervous on those occasions, but you can't hear it in her voice.  I can't, at any rate.

Recommended episodes:  Sex, Love & Ninja Turtles with Kevin Eastman, Talking Dirty with Marc Maron,

Let us now talk of You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes.  Holmes is a stand-up comedian, but I only know him from the many podcasts on which he's a frequent guest.  As I've mentioned before in these infrequent epistles, there are a lot of rambling comedy podcasts out there.  That's at least part of a lot of their charm.

But Pete Holmes' podcast is Rambling II:  The Very.  I believe that I could play you the first 15 minutes of any episode.  And then the last 15 minutes.  And if not for the fact that at least one of the voices sounds familiar--maybe--you would be hard pressed to tell it's the same show.  It's a roller coaster.

(It's also another fruit of Nerdist labors, making this another unintentional hat trick.)

Recommended episodes: Hannibal Buress, David Koechner

Although trust me, Keitha would look a lot happier to be standing this close to Katy Perry

So I was listening to Making It with Riki Lindhome, a podcast I blogged about here, last night.  On the episode I was listening to, the guest was actress Shannon Woodward.

If that name seems familiar to any of you, it's because almost five years ago, I was saying that I thought she was the very image of my character Keitha.  I can still make the case.

But anyway--

One of the things they were talking about was that they think now is great time to be a woman in comedy.

Not only because of the sisters who are doing it for themselves, but because of a whole new generation of male writers who like writing for funny women.  And who just like funny women, period.

(Speaking of sisters, an aside having not much to do with the main point of this entry:  I'm still stunned by how "once bitten, twice shy" at least one whole generation of women seems to be about feminism.  Woodward brings it up a couple of times in the interview, but always then to conversationally scurry away as if she's afraid of being beaten with a phallus for even speaking the word.  Which come to think of if, given some of the things that the GOP's been up to, she might have a point.  And speaking of points, that brings me back to mine.)

Now, you'd think this--it being a good time for women in comedy and the men you love them--might be a sign of encouragement for me; that there's a place in the world for the kind of writing I like doing.  (Or even, maybe especially, that an actress I can see playing one of my characters might actually be interested in doing so if she ever got the chance.  Or I did.)

But it doesn't work like that.  Or I don't.  Instead, what I see in my minds eye when I hear things like that is a fleet of boats...all blowing right past me, jumping through a closing window (yeah I know, mixed metaphor, bite me).

It's like when Amber Benson came out with Race You to the Bottom, which is about a mostly-gay guy and a mostly-straight girl who are having an affair.  But again, I didn't see that as a positive sign for my Keitha/Annabel/Colley story because it's about love (and, in this case, sex) outside of definition.  As that story is.

I saw it as making anything happening with my characters less likely--it's not gonna happen for me, because it already happened for them.  I'm not saying that's right, I'm just saying it's how I feel.  Of course, it didn't help that I didn't feel that movie worked.

I'm the same way about Susan Boyle or any of the other "miracle discoveries" which seem to go viral at the drop of a hat.  I'm not inspired by them; I do not think, "See, anything is possible!"  I think that there's now just a little bit lesser of the finite amount of magic in the world, making it more unlikely that I'll be struck by even a bit.

As god is my witness, I can't decide who this is more insulting to

John Kerry to play Romney in Obama debate prep

Maybe you want to pick some other phraseology than "went down."

Michigan State Rep. Lisa Brown (D), the woman who was silenced by House Republicans for saying ‘vagina’, tells TPM how it all went down

.

Todays "Who's searching for me now?" question

Todays "Who's searching for me now?" question:

Someone found this blog today by Googling "midpeninsula high school ben varkentine." That is the high school I attended, so it seems likely this was one or another of my classmates...which surprises me because I thought most of 'em had already found me on Facebook.

Back because...you asked for it!

And by you, I actually mean none of you, my vast reading audience.  But I've wanted to add a couple posts to those podcast reviews I started last year, so...

Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Rosen intends that the "entrance" into her conversations should be talk about relationships, as attaining success in show business is for Riki Lindhome's.  This is a fine idea in theory, but the interviews tend to wander pretty far a field in practice.  This isn’t always or even often necessarily a bad thing.  Just makes it a little harder for the show to raise its flag above the crowd.

This, of course, is Rosen.

Rosen's conversations with her guests are often thought-provoking, but the show as a whole suffers from a certain lack of definition.  There are a lot of conversational, thought-provoking podcasts out there, so what makes this one exceptional?

(Of course, whatever my qualms, they haven't stopped this podcast from reportedly clearing one million downloads)

Oh no sorry, this is Rosen (and the other is just a probably too-inside
joke)

Rosen is also a banana of some number on the Adam Carolla show.  I don't know quite which because I don't listen to that show--Carolla’s just never seemed that funny to me.


I first heard of her through her appearances on other podcasts, and mentions like when Pete Holmes plugged his own episode of her show on his own...about which more at a later
date.

 Recommended episodes: Pete Holmes; Janet Varney.

The Dork Forest.

The theme of comedian Jackie Kashian's podcast is subjects that her
guests are "dorks" about.  For instance Jim Gaffigan, in the recommended episode below, is a dork about the business of comedy.

Kashian.

.

In an earlier episode "TV's" Frank Conniff and author Ben Schwartz are dorks about old time comedy, a subject I was surprised to hear Kashian apparently knows so little about, but perhaps I shouldn't have been.

(But c'mon, "Who's Larry Gelbart?" "Who's Larry Gelbart?" I weep for the youth of today.)

In the first round of these pick podcast posts, I said that Elizabeth Laime's show was a relief to listen to in part because she didn't demand at least as much attention as her guests.  

(It still is, but "psychic" Andy needs to have his damn hands kept off the soundboard, with a handsaw if necessary).

Kashian's Dork Forest fits in the same easygoing cubbyhole, but this sometimes, frankly, can cause her to get “rolled."  Clare Kramer's recent episode, for example, was almost wholly devoted to hyping her new "nerdsploitation" website and convention appearances.

I don't object to Kramer or anyone hyping their "wares," I just expect a little more from a medium with such built-in possibilities for intimacy as podcasting. Going on a podcast just to plug is so mainstream, it's so...Jay Leno.

Fortunately, other episodes are much more freewheeling. And there's a heck of a lot of good stuff on them. 

 Recommended Episodes: Jim Gaffigan, Frank Conniff and Ben Schwartz

PS:  Oh, but one word of warning.  The Dork Forest opening is the most insidious earworm of any podcast theme I've ever heard.

The JV Club.

In shorthand: You know the scene at the end of The Breakfast Club where Claire "treats" Alison to a makeover?  Say Alison went home and started a podcast.   There you'd have Janet Varney's JV Club (BTW, it took me far too long to get that wordplay).

This is Janet Varney in high school.  Photo lifted unceremoniously (that means without permission) from the Facebook page for the podcast.

This is a contemporary (more-or-less) photo of Ms. Varney.

That makes it a show hosted by a girl who'd once defined herself (inwardly or outwardly) as something of a horror show, but who now appears to have had all her "mental illness" washed away, leaving only a fresh-faced hotness with that "new car" smell.

(Keyword...appears.)

I probably heard of Varney before I heard "from" her; specifically in connection with Nerdist podcaster Chris Hardwick, with whom she was romantically partnered for a time. But I think it was on Paul Gilmartin's show that I first heard her talk, and considering what a barriers-down, let's-explore-our-inner-feelings show Paul's is, that, combined with (later) her own show, was a real introduction.

(Which is probably why I felt okay making the above mortifying comparison about someone I've never met or spoken to in person.)

All of Varney's guests so far have been women and seem likely to remain so in the foreseeable future.  The talk is often of their self-images as females, both as High/Jr.High school students and as good-looking women in film and/or on television.  Near as I can tell, there's not much difference, except that the tolerance for sexual harassment's probably higher in Hollywood.

(BTW, or speaking of which, it's purely coincidental that all of the podcasts I've written about for this post are female-driven.  It's a nice coincidence, but a coincidence nonetheless.)

Recommended episodes: Jen Kirkman, Angela Kinsey, and Maggie Lawson.  

Kirkman has maybe my favorite observation thus far, with her "boys like girls" moment.  Also, yes, the "Ben" very briefly name-checked in a list at the beginning of the Malin Akerman episode is me.  

I'm bored. Source these quotes.

One:

"I think anybody who's got a five-point majority and still doesn't control the agenda might be spending a little too much time reading about how to get a man to get over his fear of commitment."

"Remind me to mention that to the population of South Africa."

"You know what? In the scheme of things? ...took them about five minutes."

Two:

"What have you learned thus far? Experience is a harsh teacher. First comes the test, second comes the lesson. If you are to SAVE AS I SAVE, then you will see the person in front of you is but a student. So I ask you, Officer Rigg: Has the pupil learned her lesson? Has she been taught the error of her ways?"

Got another one of those comments from someone who doesn't seem to get that the post they're addressing is almost seven years old.

But if you break it down...it's actually kind of disturbing.

Believable performances are not enough when characters are drawn too thinly to convince (edited with small addition)

Polley.

Sarah Polley should never lack for actors for her films, because (probably at least partially due to her own experience in that arena), they'll know she’ll usually show them to best advantage.

By that I don't just mean she'll make them look beautiful, she has an eye for casting good actors who then get to do good work.

In Take This Waltz, Michelle Williams as Margot is utterly believable...even if you don't like some of the choices she's making and by extension, start not to like her.

A married woman, she spends most of the film fighting (though not terribly hard, it must be said) her attraction to a new neighbor.

(I'm being a little unfair.  This is hardly some HBO after-hours soft porn special where people meet on a plane and within minutes they're joining the "mile-high club."  Williams' character really does struggle between her needs for intimacy and for sex.)

Michelle Williams, Luke Kirby, Sarah Silverman

But my point is, you never doubt that yeah…that's what this woman would do.

You’d almost think she has free will (in fact, she probably has more of that than almost anyone else in the story).

Based on the evidence of this first original screenplay of hers to be made into a movie, Polley needs to take a few more tries at improving construction, trimming a speech or two.

And perhaps especially writing her male characters.  Again, casting doesn't fail her here, rather she fails her casting, though by no means completely.

As Margot's husband Lou, Seth Rogen starts out in many ways playing the kind of man-child role we know by now he can knock out in his sleep.  But he's awake here, and allows us access to his emotions that suggest a richness to the character I haven't perceived in other films of his that I've seen (which I don't pretend is even most).  One important moment near the end I didn't buy at all--and it's rather essential to the plot that I do.  But for the most part, he's a more believable man than the neighbor character is..

Michelle Williams and Seth Rogen in Take This Waltz.

Unfortunately this "believablity" may in turn be part of why Williams finds her attention wandering.  More on that in a bit.

Sarah Silverman, in a smaller role as Margot's sister-in-law, also has good moments. One in particular near the beginning when her character, an alcoholic with almost one year of sobriety, talks with Margot about avoiding the pitfalls of relapsing.

Sarah Silverman in Take This Waltz.  And that's Michelle Williams in the red.

The moment comes only on Silverman's face; no dialogue as we look into her eyes and see that part of her, and it's a part with a very strong pull, doesn't see relapsing as a pitfall at all.

The movie features a full-frontal nude scene from Williams, Silverman and others.

I can't be sure, being a man and all, but I think it may actually be the first such scene for women, not men.

It's not about displaying naked bodies for the purpose of sexual excitement.  It's about young women thinking about becoming old women, and old women remembering when they were young.

Michelle Williams,  Luke Kirby

Actually, one of the sexiest moments in the whole film comes in a scene where both players remain fully clothed, and it's as simple as Williams closing her eyes.

Here's my biggest problem with the movie:  If the sexes were all reversed, it would be a movie about a happily married man who finds himself unable to resist his attraction to a woman who just moved in across the street.

You feel like you've seen it already, right?  And it'd probably be written, directed, and (god help us) starred in by Woody Allen.  Does that sound like a story you want to see again, no matter how well it's played?  And I want to stress again that this film is well-played in almost every particular.  It's just not particular enough, if that's not just shoddy wordplay.

It also really tests my personal theory of coincidence in drama, which is this:  You're allowed one.  Accidents will happen; we've all been hit and run, and so on.  But there are so many coincidences required to move this story along that about midway, I began to doubt the reality of one of the characters:  The neighbor Daniel, played by Luke Kirby.

Frankly, the character makes a lot more sense if he is largely, or even entirely, a figment of the imagination of Margot (or, alternately, is the devil).  And not just because it would explain why he keeps turning up just at the right (wrong) moments.

He is sexy but also an artist, and fit enough to make a living pulling rickshaws (seriously).  He also apparently has nothing else to do (and no one else in his life--no family, friends)--but to tell Margot perceptive truths about herself and be powerfully seductive.

Read the character description in that last paragraph again.  Now imagine it with the sexes reversed.

I'm sorry to report this is not quite the confident step forward I'd hoped for Polley after her first film Away From Her, for which she was nominated for the Oscar for best adapted screenplay.  As I hope I've shown, it is not without saving graces, however.

It’s a swinging pendant of a movie, like its lead character moving in ever decreasing circles. But damn, pendants in motion sure can be pretty.

First Loves Blogfest

http://timbrannan.blogspot.com/2012/05/first-loves-blogfest.html

First Album I loved:

The soundtrack for the film of Jesus Christ Superstar.

First Movie:

The Rescuers

First Book:

Now We Are Six

First Person: (outside of family)

Edith Mooers, from the original Zoom series.   

According to IMDb, she's now the holder of a B.S. from the University of Washington, Seattle and a Ph.D. from MIT, and is some kind of a mathematical genius.  So it would never have worked for us in the long run.

Still, I wish I could tell you that I knew for certain now which of the girls in this picture she is..  But I don't.

 I remember her being a blonde, though, so it's almost certainly either the one in the middle, or the one to the far right who looks like a young Laura Prepon.

Well that's a new one

Armchair warrior poster-child Jonah Goldberg now not only supports wars he wouldn't deign to dirty his hands in, he's moved on to claiming Pulitzer nominations he was never given.  Shades of the great Al Franken vs. Bill O'Reilly war of '06.

This is a really weird thing to be satisfied by

...nevertheless, I do feel some satisfaction to know that somebody did a Google images search for "saw movie girl deaths"...and only got two results.

Not two results from my blog, two results.*

How many times do I have to say it?  It's not Friday the 13th...

*To be explicit:  There were actually more results than that, but only two which corresponded to actual Saw movie scenes in which a girl (or woman, ahem) dies.

Both of which happen to be two of the most kickass, moving and thoughtfully directed scenes in the whole series, BTW.

Don't think you've quite got me pegged, there, boys.

The latest thing Amazon's recommending for me because I own the Saw movies is Final Destination 1-4. I've seen bits and pieces of these on cable, and they seem to be if anything the exact opposite of what I like about Saw: More thought goes into the deaths than anything else, and there are no characters whatsoever.

Who knew she even HAD a truck load's worth of clothes?

Lindsay Lohan has reportedly sold a “truck load” of clothes in a bid to make some money.

Monty Python Morning

A scene from South Park's "Fantastic Easter Special."

For any of you who don't know the episode, I'm going to quote from the Wikipedia plot synopsis (to bring you up to speed as to what happens in the first two-thirds or so)...

As the Marsh family colors eggs for Easter, Stan questions what it has to do with Jesus. Not satisfied by his father's vague response, Stan storms off and makes the same inquiry to a mall Easter Bunny, who has previously received death threats from a falsely cheery Cartman. The mall bunny tells Stan that it is "just Easter", and to "just go with it", then makes a mysterious phone call.

Stan soon finds himself being chased by men in bunny suits. When he gets home, he finds that his father is part of the plot. Randy calls the men off, and tells Stan that he is in a society called "The Hare Club for Men", who have guarded the secret of Easter for generations.

Randy takes Stan to the headquarters of the Hare Club, where he is to be initiated into the group, which reveres a rabbit named Snowball. Just as he is about to learn the secret of Easter, Stan's initiation is interrupted as the club is ambushed by a group of ninjas.

The Hare Club members rush to protect Snowball, and Randy gives the rabbit to Stan, telling him to run. He escapes with Snowball, and witnesses the ninjas and their leader, William Anthony Donohue, executing a resisting hare and interrogating Randy.

Stan runs off to Kyle's house and tries to extract any knowledge Kyle has of Easter. Kyle, who is Jewish and does not know anything about Easter and was busy finger painting, does not want to be involved in something so dangerous, but Stan persuades him to help.

Stan and Kyle manage to track down a man named Professor Teabag (spoof of Professor Teabing), who supposedly knows the secret of the Hare Club. Teabag lets them in his mansion and explains that Leonardo da Vinci was actually a member of the Hare Club and that Saint Peter was not a man, but a rabbit (Peter Rabbit), and that laser imaging shows that da Vinci originally portrayed Saint Peter as a rabbit instead of as a man in his painting of the Last Supper.

Teabag explains that Jesus knew that no human could speak for all Christianity without any acts of corruption, and that rabbits were pure, tolerant, and incorruptible. This is why the Pope's mitre is shaped to accommodate a rabbit's ears.

He also explained that the Catholic Church decided to bury the secret and put a man in charge, ever since, "The Hare Club for Men" society members have decorated eggs for generations to keep the secret in da Vinci's painting alive.

He further explains that Snowball is actually a direct descendant from St. Peter, and that Stan's father and the members of the Hare Club have been kidnapped by the Vatican, who wish to cover up this secret, thinking of it as blasphemy.

Then, Donahue's ninja minions attack again and kill Teabag's butler, but Teabag helps the two boys escape by putting marshmallow Peeps in the microwave; which causes an explosion that destroys the mansion and kills both Teabag and the ninjas.

Fantastic Easter Special
Get More: SOUTH
PARKmore...

Things I don't have (and some I do)

...which, apparently, define the truth or not of my nerd or geekdom. List by Hal Hefner, via Kelly Sedinger, who is just a fountain of blog post ideas.

1) Conan The Barbarian Soundtrack

Nope. Don't have it.

2) Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep

Don't have this either. Haven't read any Philip K. Dick since at least high school.

3) The Twilight Zone Collection:

Nope. Do, however, have an anthology of Jerry Goldsmith's film music which contains a suite from the TZ movie. I think that ought to count on at least a couple of levels, not the least of which is obscurity.

4) The Original Star Wars Trilogy – WITHOUT ANY ADDED CRAP

Sadly, no. But if I ever did own any version, that would be the only version I would own.

5) A Profound Hatred for Star Trek Enterprise

Don't give enough of a damn either way.

6) The Lord of The Rings Extended Edition, The Soundtracks and all of the books

Don't own them, have seen them all more than once, got two soundtracks from the library, own one, and read some or most of the books.

7) A Profound Sadness for the Way Battlestar Galactica Ended

Never caught the fascination for GB. Try the last season of Babylon 5 sometime, tho, and then talk to me about profound sadness.

8 ) A Passionately Favorite Version of the REAL Doctor Who

Y'damn right...and it's the one in my own head.

9) A Fear That Will Smith Will Someday Star in The Movie Adaptation of Your Favorite Book

If he comes near Jonathan Carroll, I will have to wait for him with a length of chain.

10) Toys from Your Childhood That You Refuse To Part With

Well, considering that I'm writing this with a fox puppet I got as a present in the '70s sitting on top of my computer monitor...

11) The Belief that the Word Midichlorian Was Just from a Nightmare and NOT a real Star Wars Movie

The problem with midichlorians, as I can't be the first person to point out, is that they switch the idea of "oneness with the Force" from something spiritual which can be attained through practice and discipline, to a question of genetic superiority: If you're not born part of the master race, you're basically doomed to life as a slave. How eugenic.

12) The Original TRON Movie

Don't own it, but it has a special place in my heart, and Tron Legacy stands up too. I do own the Wendy Carlos soundtrack to the original, and Cindy Morgan was one of my '80s crushes.

13) An affection for the TV show Firefly

Absolutely not. Look, I like one or two of the actors, but...plus I've always found it at the least smirk-worthy that fans of this show willingly gave themselves the name "Browncoats," because it sounds so much like "Brownshirts."

14) A Hatred for Chris O’Donnell

Nah. The last two seasons of Buffy, on the other hand...

15) You Know Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics:

Doesn't everyone?

16) You think Cheetara is HOT!

Nah. By the time Thundercats hit, I was already worshiping at the altar of the likes of Cybill Shepherd.

17) You Believe Aliens are our REAL Gods

Not even a little bit. Barry Gibb is our real god. Everybody knows that.

18) You Have a Favorite Animated Cult Sci-Fi Movie

I dunno, I probably do, but I love good animation and Sci-Fi, so it'd be a long list. The Clone Wars movie would not be on it (even if I'd seen it, I suspect).

19) You Blame Hot Rod for Optimus Prime’s Death

I don't even know what this means.

20) You DESPISE Michael Bay for Masturbating on your Childhood

As with Star Trek Enterprise, I don't care enough either way. I save my despising for those who screw up things that are really important.

Like Saw producer Mark Burg, whose greed and cynicism (I believe) turned "the last chapter" of that franchise into a kick in the crotch for those of us who thought the films were ever more than just blood and gore.



Plus, he let Betsy Russell get away, which has to be the most foolhardy move since that sorry freak Charlie Sheen did the same with Ginger Lynn.

(Burg is also Sheen's longtime manager, which cannot be a coincidence).

Or that dullard Robert Zemeckis, whose inspiration poor motion-capture "animation" is a poke in the eye to real lovers of the art form.

My joy in dragons is greater than my appreciation for beautiful women

Two things that all you regular members of my vast reading audience will know by now: I have an appreciation for beautiful women, and I enjoy dragons. But for those of you who have asked yourself: Which is greater?

(and yeah, I know, nobody's ever asked themselves that, including me, but just go with me for the bit, okay?)

We now have an answer. How?

In the movie Sucker Punch, which I have now seen, a whole fistful of lovely young ladies; with hot bods, cold-bloodedly slit the throat of a baby dragon. They insult and fire machine guns at its understandably angry mother, whom they then kill by plunging a sword through the top of her head. And these are the girls we're supposed to like.

And from beginning to end of the whole sequence, I was chanting, "Dragon! Dragon! Go, go, dragon!" So there you have it.

Of course, it's possible this isn't a fair test. I mean, maybe if the movie had given said lovely young ladies characters to play that I could've cared about, the scales might've been just a little more balanced.

But it didn't. I don't mean it gave them characters to play that I just didn't care about. I mean it didn't give them characters to play. Unless of course, "Jena Malone is adorable" (which she is) or "Jamie Chung has some nice curves" (which she does) are character traits...

A picture is worth 1,000...

Karen Santorum on Monday assured women that they have "nothing to fear" from her husband.

Is this the face of a woman with nothing to fear?

Karen Santorum insisted her husband will do “nothing” on the issue of contraception.

"Believe me," she sobbed, he does nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing..."

Note to self: Actually, Halloween and Resident Evil might be a good double feature

("Most Hated Movies," pt five)

41. Constantine

My reaction to this film's release was the same as everybody who's ever read any comic book ever: That's not Constantine.

42. Jersey Girl (2004)



Silent Bob. Not since Mel Brooks has there been a writer/director who so betrayed the promise of his talent. I'll give this one of George Carlin's best performances as an actor, but as a whole this movie was so bad it left me agape.



43. Resident Evil

I never played the games, so I can't speak to how they translate, but I've seen all the movies...though never in the theater. My standard line for the Resident Evil films is that they are either just below or just above average, with the differential being how good looking you think Milla Jovovich is. I think she's one of the sexiest women in the world, so...

She's pretty tough in them, too.

44. Fantastic Four (2005)

A franchise slain by miscasting: That's not Doctor Doom, Sue Storm, etc...



45. Halloween (2007)

I think the 1978, John Carpenter Halloween would be thought of much more highly if it hadn't been followed by so many quick-cash, shoddy (with the notable exception of IV) sequels. One of the best horror movies I've ever seen. But I have to admit, I thought Rob Zombie's remake wasn't half bad, in fact it was probably the best remake of Halloween that could've been made.



47. Terminator: Salvation.

The slightest chance of my taking this film seriously was terminated by Christian Bale's putting half his foot into his own mouth on set and taking a great big bite while being surreptiously taped. Plus I liked the Terminator TV series, so I was glad when this dropped quickly off the charts.



48. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

On the other hand, unlike the Halloween remake, this one never even comes close to the thrill power of the 1974 original, and remains a meaningless exercise.





49. Superman Returns

Didn't love it, didn't hate it.

50. Daredevil

No. That's all. Just no.