Friday not-at-all-random "10"

Stealing an idea from Tom, who was inspired by Amanda, who asked:

What makes a great cover song? I don’t mean just the myriad of good cover songs out there, but the really stand-out cover songs.

These are a few of my favorite covers. First, a handful of "special categories," because I'm sneaky like that.

Special category one-Groups or singers who have made a habit of recording really great cover songs, while being not-at-all bad songwriters themselves:

Everything But The Girl-I Don't Want To Talk About It, Love Is Strange and The Only Living Boy In New York

Pet Shop Boys:-If Love Were All, Always On My Mind, Losing My Mind (w/Liza Minelli), Where the Streets Have No Name/I Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You and Try It (I'm In Love With A Married Man)

Kirsty MacColl-A New England, Miss Otis Regrets, You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby, Days and Perfect Day

UB40-Red Red Wine, I Got You Babe and all the singles off Labour of Love II.

Paul Young-Love Will Tear Us Apart, Wherever I Lay My Hat (That's My Home), Everytime You Go Away, I'm Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down and Soldier's Things

Special Category two-the great cover albums:

Red Hot + Blue-Kirsty, U2, Salif Keita, and more singing Cole Porter.

Silicon Teens-Music For Parties. Synth cover versions of old '50s and '60s tunes.

Stay Awake: Various Interpretaions of Music from Vintage Disney Films

Twentieth Century Blues: The Songs of Noel Coward

Reggatta Mondatta: The Police Reggae Tribute

Special Category Three: It's long been a maxim of mine that covers have a moral obligation to piss off fans of the original, or at least to have that capacity.

Breakfast Club-Drive My Car and Expressway To Your Heart.

Laptop-It's Still Rock 'n' Roll To Me. It's so deadpan.

Fine Young Cannibals-Ever Fallen In Love. Maybe things have changed, but at the time I remember everybody hating this.

Special Category Four-Covers that made me like songs I previously wanted nothing to do with:

DJ Sammy & Yanou Feat Do-Heaven (Candlelight Mix). I don't have room here to go into my Bryan Adams rant...but I love this piano-based mix.

Shriekback-Get Down Tonight. Humanly impossible to disapprove, cos the Shriek keeps shrieking and the groove don't move...

Special category five: Guilty Pleasures.

Donny Osmond's Somewhere In Time CD. Shut up.

Pseudo Echo-Funkytown. Cheesy? So says you!

Now with them out of the way, The List:

Madonna-I Want You. I'll always believe in my soul that where Madonna went wrong (if you think she did) is in deciding she was a creative artist, instead of an interpretive one.

Sting-Angel Eyes. My favorite version of this classic song. From the Leaving Las Vegas soundtrack.

Thomas Dolby-I Scare Myself. This is just good. I don't know quite how else to say it.

Candy Flip-Strawberry Fields Forever. My favorite Beatles song, but I love this version too, especially the remixes.

Figures On A Beach-You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet. Using a sampler for the stutter effect. So obvious, and yet so brilliant.

Bananarama-Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye. I've discussed this before-I want it played at my funeral.

Hue & Cry-Fixing A Hole. This recording of the Beatles song, done for a charity album, has always struck me as one of the best covers ever done, even outstripping the original. My tape has gone the way of all flesh and I'd love to have it replaced on CD.

Kon Kan-Puss N Boots/These Boots (Are Made For Walking) -- Classic favorite "mash-up" of Led Zeppelin with Nancy Sinatra.

Pop Will Eat Itself-Rock-A-Hula Baby. Leave it to the Poppies to turn Public Enemy's Elvis dis on its head.

Depeche Mode-Route 66. In retrospect, this was an early warning sign of the groups getting into dreary rock, which almost killed Dave and from which they've never recovered to my ears.

Sometimes I really wonder what in the hell the GOP thinks it's doing

...the United States Senate passed a bill yesterday that makes English the "national language" in America and amends title four of the United States Code, "…to declare English as the national language of the United States and to promote the patriotic integration of prospective US citizens."

Now, the first thing that comes to my mind, as it so often does in times like this, is a West Wing reference. In an episode of that fine series, someone responds to the notion of such a bill by saying:

...aside from it being bigoted and unconstitutional, it's ludicrous to think that laws need to be created to help protect the language of Shakespeare.

But thinking a little longer about it...sometimes I really wish my ex-Republican friend was still talking to me because maybe she could tell me what the hell they're even trying to do. With this combined with other recent actions, it's as if they're prepared to just write off the Latino vote, to say nothing of other minorities.

I don't think they should take the Democrats incompetence that much for granted. A little, sure, but...

Giving you the Dickens

My little early-morning expression of outrage that someone got away with naming a character "Sir Leigh Teabing" in a novel attracted a small handful of comments, including this from Jeopardygirl:

Dude, you can't seriously reject reading a book or watching a movie based on a character's NAME. If that were the case, no one would ever read Charles Dickens.

Putting aside for the moment that I rejected reading the book or watching the movie long before I read about this name: Names like David Copperfield, Pip, Oliver Twist, and Ebenezer Scrooge are fantastic.

They have color, they have rhythm. Try saying them aloud, you'll enjoy saying them. Then try saying "Sir Leigh Teabing." Like eating black licorice when your mouth is set for red...the man just shouldn't be able to do that with a name...

Ok...now, I have no plans to see "The Da Vinci Code"

Nor have I read the bestselling book. So I have no opinion on either, though it seems that the critics have a few problems with the movie, according to the Fresh Report from Rotten Tomatoes.

But...you're telling me that both the book and the movie contain a character named "Sir Leigh Teabing?"

"Sir Leigh Teabing?"

No come on, seriously.

"Sir Leigh Teabing?"

That's not a name, that's a degenerative illness.

"Sir Leigh Teabing," for god's sake...

"Sir Leigh Teabing."

I may not be able to get to sleep tonight...

This is her once a year day

Like Maureen Dowd, Arianna Huffington is a writer I don't like as much as some of my liberal brethren. I consider her to be at best, untrustworthy. At worst, a contemptible opportunist who cynically changed sides when it looked like there wasn't enough room in the spotlight as a conservative. And the liberals promptly forgot about everything she'd said about Clinton and/or done to try to get her empty suit of a husband elected.

All that said, much of this blog post on Hillary Clinton is dead-on.

As a result of the soul-sapping tyranny of trying to please and placate everybody, she's become more processed than Velveeta. You can almost see every word that comes out of her mouth first being marched through the different compartments of her brain -- analyzed, evaluated, and vetted by each of them. What will the consultants think of this? How will it poll? Will working women between 25-35 in eastern Ohio think it's okay? How about likely voters in northern Oklahoma?

Her fear has caused a complete disconnect from who she really is and what she really thinks (that is, if she even knows anymore).

Who came of age with youthful rage at...

From the beginning, Iraqis in the town of Haditha said U.S. Marines deliberately killed 15 unarmed Iraqi civilians, including seven women and three children.

One young Iraqi girl said the Marines killed six members of her family, including her parents. “The Americans came into the room where my father was praying,” she said, “and shot him.”

[...]

On Wednesday, Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., said the accounts are true.

Military officials told NBC News that the Marine Corps' own evidence appears to show Murtha is right.

[A] video, obtained by Time magazine, was broadcast a day after town residents told The Associated Press that American troops entered homes on Nov. 19 and shot dead 15 members of two families, including a 3-year-old girl, after a roadside bomb killed a U.S. Marine.

Via Amygdala.

As you might imagine, the republican blogs are covering this by putting the word massacre in quotes and otherwise implying this couldn't have happened.

PZ Myers reminds us of a little thing called My Lai.

I could just cry.

And yet, I still don't want to drink Pepsi

I hate myself for saying it, but Christina Aguilera does look pretty hot in these commercial images.

Via ONTD.

Adding insult to injury

From the Connecticut Post Online:

Paul McCartney and his second wife, Heather Mills McCartney, said Wednesday that they are separating after nearly four years of marriage, blaming intrusion from the media

I have a hard time beliving that's the real reason; you'd think if anyone knew how to deal with intrusion from the media by now it'd be Paul McCartney. And although she may not have been accustomed to dealing with quite his level of fame, wasn't she a model before they even met?

That said, it can't be helpful to have your separation from your wife broadcasted around the world with headlines line "Love Me Don't" and "McCartney, Wife Can't 'Work It Out."

McCartney is about to turn 64, and this is exactly the kind of thing that makes me wish I could send a message to every newspaper editor or writer everywhere who will write about him in any context that year:

Don't do it. Just avoid the temptation. We all know it's there, it's too easy. Just be grown up about this thing.

For similar reasons I avoided listening to the radio for the entire year of 1999. I mean, I've always said Prince was a musical genius, but...

These are really, really, really cool

"You moved, didn't ya?"

Tex Avery statues. Gotta love it. Lord knows I don't have $300 lying around that I could drop on something like this. And even if I did, I'm not sure it's a prudent idea for me to own fragile statuary...I have cats, you know.

Nevertheless, this is really, really cool.

Via Cartoon Brew.

Fucking A

I missed the first half of the "Boston Legal" season finale tonight, because I either didn't know or had forgotten it was a special two-hour episode. Fortunately, the last half offered plenty of laugh-worthy moments, not the least of them the spectacle of Captain Kirk lusting after Seven of Nine (guest star Jeri Ryan).

I note with incipient geekdom this makes three representatives of three different "Star Trek" series who have appeared on "Legal;" besides Shatner and now Ryan, Rene Auberjonois of "Deep Space Nine" is a regular.

"Huff," "Gilmore Girls" and "Veronica Mars" all got a bit dusty this season. "Boston Legal" may be one of the only favorite series that didn't disappoint me this year, "24" being the other. Meaningless observation: Both series feature a character named Bauer.

One could argue that I expected more from those other shows than I do from this one. I'm a fan because of the Shatner & Spader dynamic, the way they always seem to be running the risk of becoming cartoony.

Some would say they've crossed that line. But for me the witty scripts still kept it one of the most enjoyable hours on television. I'll miss it until next year...

Been there, Dunst that

Your Celebrity Style Twin is Kirsten Dunst

More hippie chic than hippie chick.

Who's Your Celebrity Style Twin?

Who knew?

One so rarely sees crime with a dash of style these days

The Goedeken food shop on Hamburg's Grosse Elb street is considered a mecca for the city's wealthy gourmets. It draws professional caterers, Tim Malzer -- Germany's equivalent of English TV chef Jamie Oliver -- and plenty of well-heeled hobby cooks decked out in full yuppie regalia.

But two weeks ago, some unusual guests showed up. A horde of young people, dressed up as strange comic book heroes, stormed the store and dragged away cartloads of delicacies -- without paying, that is. Instead of money, the baffled cashier was handled a bouquet of flowers. Then the unwanted visitors posed for a picture and rushed off. The police sent 14 patrol cars and a helicopter, but the culprits were long gone.

An experienced investigator can't help chuckling when he hears about such activities. "They're willing to take risks," he says respectfully.

All emphasis mine.

Cool poster

Who knows if the movie'll be good, though?

This is truly bizarre

And I'm not even sure what to say about it, but it needs to be brought up and talked about. In recent days, conservatives have actually been joining the debate on impeachment-and arguing in favor of it.

Not because Bush is a crook.
Not because he was completely wrong (if we are being very, very generous) about Iraq.
Not because he is to ethics what...actually, he bears no comparision to ethics.
Not because he's a liar.

No, they can't impeach him for any of those things, because they can't admit they were wrong (or that anyone else was right) about those things. But, they do see the need for the Republican party to rid themselves of this crooked, wrongheaded, anti-ethical liar if they are to gain any hope of retaining their snakebite hold on the branches of government.

So, you know what they need? They need an out. They need something that really only they care that much about. But that they care about so much that if Bush crosses them on it, they can throw him under a train without guilt. And without feeling like us godless commie liberals have "won."

Which is the other thing stopping them from impeaching him for the fistfuls of legitimate reasons he's given us-Tom's got a little list (he's got a little list).

But where would they find such an out?

Ladies and gentlemen: Illegal immigrants. How seriously does the rightwing take this issue? So seriously they're talking about stealing an idea from the Nazis. So...seriously, indeed.

ETA-Yes! He's back! The fella advocating for a return to the good old days when at least the trains ran on time is none other than:

The great (and stylish) Vox "Why women's rights are wrong" Day.

Some of you ladies may remember Mr. Day; if not, I encourage you to use the 'search" function above...

ETA again-Or as Jeff Fecke put it on Shakespeare's Sister:

It's what they've needed all along--a reason to abandon Bush. And now they've got it, wrapped up in a neat little bow. No, for John Hinderaker and LaShawn Barber and Michelle Malkin, this isn't about immigration. It's about paying Bush back for making them look like idiots for supporting him. And payback's a bitch.

Thanks for your sacrifice

Crooked Timber finds that the conservative (and myopic) gang of warbloggers have now convinced themselves of a couple things. Not only that they're serving their country better behind their keyboards than they would actually going out and putting themselves in a position to be shot.

But that in fact, they may be suffering from a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You know, that thing actual soldiers get. They think they've got that from

defending difficult positions at the forefront of the battle against irredentist Democrats in Congress and their fifth-column in the media.

BTW, I admit I had to look "irredentist" up but I don't think it means what this guy thinks it means.

I could take a paragraph here to say how fucking insane such a comparison is. However, Belle Waring at CT has done just that while also heaping a side order of scorn on Jeff Goldstein.

So I think I'll just let her take it. Belle?

actual real live American (and coalition) soldiers are fighting and dying right now, and one might imagine the Iraqi on the street to be suffering from a bit of battle fatigue herself (better make that himself given current conditions for women walking alone on the streets of Baghdad), and there are thousands of US soldiers returning each month at severe risk for, or suffering from actual PTSD. The armed forces, sadly enough, are not well known for sensitive, effective responses to these emotionally wounded soldiers.

...manning the keyboard against the evil MSM and “irredentist” Democrats is not very much like going out and getting shot at every day, or having a car bomb kill your daughter, or having to go to the morgue to identify your son’s mutilated body. (Let’s keep in mind that there’s likely to be a line at the morgue too, if we’re talking about Baghdad itself.) Not much like it at all. And you know the closer-to-home scrum of domestic politics? Also not like that at all. Not a bit of it. Now, and I hate to belabor the point...but we are talking about some strikingly dissimilar things. I’m not saying that the desire to conflate the rigors of combat with the crushing burden of being, say, Jeff Goldstein means that you’re a dishonest person with an extraordinarily inflated self-regard, I’m just…No, take that back. I am saying that.

Thanks, Belle.

A fairly lackluster episode

...of "24" tonight, I thought, especially coming only one week before the season finale. In previous years at this time we've had things like:

• A candidates wife trying to entrap her husband in an affair
• An attempt to fabricate a reason to start a war for oil interests (imagine that), Jack's daughter terrorized by a child-abuser and wife killer
• Tony betraying his country
• The son of the secretary of defense first implicated in a conspiracy to commit terrorism, and then outed as gay, Michelle & Tony reuniting, the return of Mandy (played by everyone's favorite bisexual, Mia Kirshner) and Tony taken hostage.

Comparatively speaking, tonight, nothing happened.

As murderers with whom Jack has to force himself to work despite his overwhelming desire to kill them go, Henderson is really making me miss Nina Myers. Just as hissable a villain, and a damn sight sexier to boot.

And-obviously it's too late, not like there's much of a chance they'd read this anyway-but if I could have just a word in the ears of the writers: I still want to know why the constant repetitions of "Henderson killed David Palmer" aren't being followed by "and Michelle and Tony."

For second tonight it seemed like Jack was at least alluding to them when he said Henderson had killed "People I care about," but Henderson assumed he was only talking about Palmer and Jack didn't care to correct him.

Still not a show-killing, "shark-jumping" mistake, but I better hear their names mentioned next week (preferably as part of a litany Jack recites as he puts at least three bullets in Henderson's brain) or I'm gonna be very cross.

Good thought, Rev.

As quoted in Living The Truth In A World Of Illusions by the recently deceased William Sloane Coffin,

In my office is a poster that reads: "Do not follow where the path
leads. Rather go where there is no path and leave a trail."

Tell me what's-a-happenin'

Via Pharyngula, once again, blogs on the left are buzzing about how Al Gore Is Going To Come Back And Save Us All.

Right.

Once again, I don't care how good he looks now, we have seen, and we have seen, and we have seen how he copes with the pressure of actually running for President. It ain't good. He starts running again, we're gonna be back to Robocandidate.

And my memory goes back to those ludicrious PMRC Senate hearings, too.

Um...I don't know much about symbolism, but...

Photo via Digby.

As "Huff" starts to go after the "L Word" dollar

Jen-"JeopardyGirl", who I turned onto the Showtime series "Huff," wrote me a few weeks ago that this season she was really disliking the character of Beth, Huff's wife. At the time I defended the character, but with the last couple of episodes I've done an almost complete 180.

Last week ended with a precious scene in which Beth, who had lately been on a spirtual quest, visiting a church in the middle of the night and mewling something about looking for her family. No Beth, your family is back at the house. You'll know them, they're the ones you keep shouting at when you should be talking (and listening!) to them.

And this week, Bethy goes out drinking with an old college buddy (female) and they end up making out in the ladies room.

Earlier in the episode, Huff gave a concise encapsulation of the schizophrenic (ironic, for this series) road his wife has been on this season, the impulsive choices she makes...which only seem to last for an episode or two, if that.

I couldn't help yelling at the screen, "You'd almost think she were a character on a badly-written television series!"

This is "Huff?"

If Karl Rove Is Indicted

As it looks like he will be, it'll mean that the Bush administration has employed not only the first (Libby) but the first and second sitting White House staffers to be indicted in 135 years. Damn partisanship.

Back in November, Time Magazine said

several of the most important lawyers who deal with special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald said they saw more clues last week that Fitzgerald is continuing to look into the possibility of charging Rove with lying to investigators or the grand jury or both. If that happens, Rove almost certainly would resign immediately, as did I. Lewis Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff, when Libby was indicted two weeks ago.

To which I said,

Of course, Bush could score a few points if he fired Rove before the next round of charges...that is, if he actually wanted to "promote ethics"...

But he didn't do that (he didn't actually want to promote that), and now it looks like we're gonna get a chance to see how he does without Rove's hand up his ass. Of course, he's been doing so well with it we may not even notice the difference.

A brief recap before we continue

Completed Sunday, December 04, 2005: 179 pages. 36, 293 words. 32 chapters.

My Girlfriend's Boyfriend, a novella in four parts and an epilogue.

Completed Friday, February 24, 2006: 201 pages. 38, 669 words. Still 32 chapters.

My Girlfriend's Boyfriend, still a novella in four parts, but now with a prologue and interludes.

Completed Saturday, May 13, 2006: 209 pages. 40, 270 words. 35 chapters.

My Girlfriend's Boyfriend, a novel.

In three parts, interludes and an epilogue. I moved the material that I had called the prologue in the last version into the body of the book on the grounds of length. When was the last time you read a book with a 20-page prologue?

I think it's a novel. I think it's done.

Now what do I do?

(I mean, besides send a copy to my first-reader extraordinaire, the friendly, thoughtful and bright fellow known as a vision of manlyness and a man of vision not at all subsceptible to flattery, Corey Klemow.)

Some guys have all the luck, some guys get all the...updates...

Update: Glen Greenwald writes about the same article, and the head-in-the-sand response taken by such pro-Bush bloggers as The Anchoress, who announced she was taking her blog off the subject of politics for a while:

We’ll talk sex, religion, baseball, opera and even - Lord help us - television. But to stay in the middle of the deleterious snakepit of politics…no…there be monsters.

Now this engendered two reactions from me. The first I left as a comment on Glen's blog:

What's weird to me is that I still feel much the same way The Anchoress does.

I can't fully enjoy the GOP's panicky fall because I have no confidence in the Democrats' ability to do anything about it.

It's like they're still so hypnotized by this President, for some reason, that they just can't see that the mob has turned against him.

And if only one kid stood up, pointed and said "Look! The clothes have no emperor!" (to coin a phrase), the spell would be broken.

But the Democrats are too busy sewing, and don't want to disturb the circle.

And the second is, yes Anchoress, there are monsters, and the biggest and baddest is sitting in the oval office with your support. Heck of a job.

Original post: In Hullabaloo, Digby takes note of a recent poll comparing Bill Clinton's performance to Bush. As he says, it really shouldn't surprise anybody, much less progressives, that Clinton looks good and is looking better every day in comparison.

But he reminds us of something that should not be forgotten.

What the story fails to mention is that Clinton outperformed Bush while fighting off the rabid, slavering GOP congress of Newt Gingrich and Trent Lott that was determined not only to thwart his program but used every institutional lever of power they had to destroy him personally.

Emphasis Digby's. George W. Bush has had-literally-everything handed to him. From being a legacy at Yale to having a GOP congress and lapdog press corps, if he had been the slightest bit competent-oh what the hell I'll just say it:

If he had been a man able to rise to the occasion, to meet the context of the circumstances of his birth with character and integrity, who knows what he might have accomplished?

But he isn't, and he didn't.

I'll be leaving the blogs now, I've seen everything

Jim Emerson's scanners blog is all growed up and with a place of its own separate from his old digs on Roger Ebert's homepage. This week, he's got a post on the latest charity case embraced by those caring, capable hands without whom we'd be nothing, Hollywood folk:

Tom Cruise.

You see, M:I:III's domestic grosses were considered to be "disappointing" for its opening weekend. And now, Cruise is gathering his friends around him for support in this traumatic time.

Emerson quotes a recent USA Today story that sez...

... according to a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll over the weekend when "Mission: Impossible III" opened to $47.7 million, about $12 million less than expected, the public has lost its loving feeling for Tom Cruise.
When 1,013 adults were asked their opinion of Cruise, 35% were favorable and 51% unfavorable. Nearly a year ago, when War of the Worlds opened on July 4 weekend to $77 million, the rating was 58% favorable and 31% unfavorable. (Sampling error is plus or minus 3 percentage points.)

His popularity with women seems most affected: 56% were favorable in 2005, compared with only 35% now....

But that's not what made me want to fling up my hands and run screaming from the blogsphere. It's this: He also found a quote from Kathy Griffin that actually made me smile. I have rarely if ever found Griffin funny in the past. But...

How much fun is the Tom Cruise meltdown? Here's my favorite thing about it... He's so crazy the gays don't want him anymore. They don't want him. They don't care... I love how the gay guys only want hot guys to be gay, right? They want Gyllenhaal, they want Ledger, they want Colin Farrell. Here's what you'll never hear from one of the gays: "Oh, girl. Don't be naive. Don't tell me you don't know about Miss Gene Hackman."

Maybe it's because this reminds me of one of my favorite monologues Scott Thompson used to do as his "Buddy" character on The Kids In The Hall:

"When I find out someone is gay my admiration for them increases tenfold. Well, not everyone. I still refuse to believe Liberace was gay. I just don't want him to be."

Awwwwwwwwwwwww...y'havin' a bad day, puddin'?

Via Think Progress, some Highlights From Tony Snow's First Press Gaggle:

“You’ll forgive me, but I’ll do the talking points on this as the new kid on the block. I’m not fully briefed into everything. I hate to read from a sheet of paper.”

“For today, I am not going to handle international issues or currency issues. I do not wish to set off global tempests. I frankly just don’t know enough on those.”

“I thought this would be nice and congenial and it is obviously just a mess.”

If only this were funny

Credit: Shakespeare's Sister

My dinner with a liberal hawk

Well, not mine, tristero of Hullaballo.

He was angry and unstoppable.

"No, no, let me ask you a question. How come you, a musician, maybe a good one, maybe a well-read one, but a musician with no training in affairs of state - how come you of all people were right about Iraq but the most respected, most experienced, most intelligent, most serious thinkers in the United States got it wrong?"

"That is a question I ask myself every day, because it scares the daylights out of me," I replied.

It's the end. But the moment has been prepared for. (Updated)

Update: PZ Myers puts this in the proper perspective.

It means: less than one third of our American compatriots are insane or stupid!

Original post: Bush approval hits 29 percent (via Democrats.com).

I'm going to make a prediction. It may be wrong, it may even probably be wrong, but I'm going to make it anyway. Bush will not finish his second term. The only question is, whom will be installed as Vice-President (when Cheney resigns first for "health reasons") so they can advance to President when Bush resigns in disgrace?

Actors are so stupid

Hey, dummies: If you want to put on a show somebody else wrote, you get their permission first. I knew that when I was a teenager.

Stories like this remind me of one of my favorite exchanges from one of my favorite movies, Fosse's "All That Jazz:"

"God, I hate show business."

"Joe, you love show business."

"That's right, I love show business. I'll go either way."

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be

Amy and Dan Sherman/Palladino's last episode of Gilmore Girls aired last night. It left me coldly disappointed...which is better than the hot anger Veronica Mars left me with.

Rather than talk about the specifics of that final episode, since IIRC the one or two of you who also watch the series are in other countries and a year or so behind, I thought I'd pay a little tribute.

These are, so to speak, a few of my favorite things: A somewhat-random, and certainly far from complete, listing of my favorite GG moments. They are in order of occurence, not preference.

Links in the episode titles are to capsule summaries; others are to quotes (to keep this post from being bigger than it is already)

(Dirty.)

The episode: Dead Uncles And Vegetables

The moment: A folky rendition of "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go." My favorite (ironic) musical GG moment.

The episode: One's Got Class and the Other One Dyes

The moment(s): Lorelei is bombarded with questions by high school junior asking her to justify her choice to have Rory at their age. And Lane shops for hair dye.

The episode: Those are Strings, Pinocchio

The moment(s) Rory (and Paris "Eustace" Gellar) graduate from Chilton. Possibly the best graduation scene ever on television, frustratingly full of too many good moments to quote.

The episode: The Fundamental Things Apply

The moment: Lorelei's rules for watching a movie.

The episode: Ted Koppel's Big Night Out

The moment(s): Lorelei learns a little something about football. A lot of these moments come from the fourth season, which I continue to see as underrated. I liked a couple of characters and storylines that may not have gone over big with everybody (Jason, Paris dating an older professor).

The episode: Luke Can See Her Face

The moment(s): Lorelei gets a feline visitor. And one of Liza Weil's best acting moments, which is saying something considering what an amazing actress I think she is. She's the girl who would play Annabel, if I had my druthers.

The episode: Last Week Fights, This Week Tights

The moment(s): Well, besides a brief guest star part by Teddy Dunn, the future Duncan Kane of Veronica Mars and a combination '80s/Renaissance themed wedding, there's Luke and Lorelei's first dance, to my favorite (non ironic) GG musical moment: Reflecting Light by Sam Phillips.

(Click on that to see an enlarged series of pictures w/excerpt from the lyrics)

The episode: Raincoats and Recipies.

The moment(s): Every reason you need to watch the first six seasons sandwiched between two great pop culture references:

RORY: What's your damage, Heather?

LORELAI: I think I'm dating Luke.

RORY: What?

LORELAI: I'm not sure. It's just a possibility. I could be wrong.

RORY: But how? When?

LORELAI: I went with him to his sister's wedding, and it was really nice. We had a really good time. We laughed a lot, and we ate, and then we danced.

RORY: Danced? How?

LORELAI: We pop-locked.

RORY: Was it a fast dance, slow dance, group dance?

LORELAI: It was a slow dance. What is "group dance?"

RORY: The hustle, the hora.

LORELAI: No hustle, no hora. It was a slow dance -- a waltz. Luke can waltz.

RORY: Luke can waltz?!

LORELAI: Luke can waltz.

RORY: Look how you just said, "Luke can waltz."

LORELAI: What, I'm just saying, I'm surprised that Luke can waltz.

RORY: That sounded more like, "I'm surprised I still have my clothes on."

LORELAI: Oh, stop.

RORY: What else happened?

LORELAI: Nothing. We spent the evening together. We danced, he walked me home, then he asked me to a movie. All of these things individually do not add up to dating, but together, I don't know. And there was this moment, when he walked me home, where I thought -- I don't know.

RORY: Did you say yes?

LORELAI: When?

RORY: To the movie. Did you say yes?

LORELAI: Yes.

RORY: That sounds like dating to me.

LORELAI: But maybe he didn't mean it as a date thing. Maybe he just needed to get out of the house, and since I'm currently one of the women sitting home, thinking, "If I could only find a man like Aragorn," he picked me.

Also: Lorelei runs into possibly the only door in the world with comedy timing (you have to see it).

And:

LUKE: You know the last time I bought flowers for someone? Never! That's when! Very easy stat to remember!

LORELAI: I loved the flowers!

LUKE: And then when I walked you home after the wedding, there was a moment. I thought there was a moment.

LORELAI: There was! There was a moment. [Luke gazes at Lorelai, then moves closer.]

LORELAI: What are you doing?

LUKE: Will you just stand still?

[He gathers her in his arms and they kiss.

And Lorelei "ruins" Rory's first time.

What have we learned from all this? Well, I've learned that I like Daniel Palladino's writing even more than I thought I did-he's the credited writer or co-writer on five of the listed episodes. Amy Sherman-Palladino is "only" credited on three.

We've also learned that besides loving Paris in the springtime and the fall, and just generally being an old softy, I love me some Lorelei ranting, and I am all about the Luke-and-Lorelei love.
Which may be a clue to why I was so disappointed with last night's season ending (you see how it all comes back in a loop?).

I absolutely luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuv Molly Ivins

Have I mentioned that before? Yesterday, she offered her two bits (and change) on what we in the liberal blogosphere have decided to call..."Hookergate."

I don’t care what anyone smoked 20 years ago, I approve of those who boogie ‘til they puke, and I don’t care who anyone in politics is screwing in private, as long as they’re not screwing the public.

On other hand, if you expect me to pass up a scandal involving poker, hookers and the Watergate building with crooked defense contractors and the No. 3 guy at the CIA, named Dusty Foggo (Dusty Foggo?! Be still my heart), you expect too much. Any journalist who claims Hookergate is not a legitimate scandal is dead—has been for some time and needs to be unplugged. In addition to sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, Hookergate is rife with public interest questions, misfeasance, malfeasance and non-feasance, and many splendid moral points for the children. Recommended for Sunday school use, grades seven and above.

Read her. Rejoice in her. Luxuriate in her.

Last episodes, please, or woulda coulda shoulda

Here's an article from last year picking The Six Best TV Finales. I'll go along with Newhart and The Larry Sanders Show. M*A*S*H? Well, it could have been. Now, almost 25 years after the fact with the last episode in regular rotation, things like Hawkeye's breakdown seem ghastly and overwrought.

Some series would have had the best finales, had they had sense enough to stop in time. Buffy, for instance, had a terrific series finale that aired at the end of its fifth season. Unfortunately, the show went on (and on...) for another two.

The West Wing, of course, gave us nearly one of the best episode of the entire series with 25-but again, has gone past that stopping point.

Babylon 5 pulled off a great last episode. Made at the end of the series fourth season, it was delayed until the conclusion of the last-minute renewed, violently erratic fifth season.

On a side note, I'm starting to wish Huff had run for only one season, but I'll talk about that more later.

And Futurama had a great last episode, even though it wasn't intended as one.

I'd definitely add Cheers, especially the great final moments. Everything after Sam comes back to the bar is a gem.

And Sports Night. I'm sorry that only ran for two years, even though it must have been killing Sorkin to write on that and West Wing at once. But at the same time, I'm glad it never had a chance to go terrible on us.

Which brings me to NewsRadio. I've said it before: While Friends and especially Seinfeld got all the hype, this was the best new sitcom of the '90s. And the finale of this terminally disrespected sitcom was true to its anti-cheap-sentiment, funny heart.

I think that's all I got. Yr. nominations, pls?

Appros of nothing...

This is one of my favorite album covers of all time. The band was pretty cool too-pop at it's purest, most bubble-about-to-break gloriously transient, but they still got two good albums out of it. (Provision's predecessor, Cupid and Psyche 85, might even be better as its songs go, but I didn't like the artwork nearly as much.) Green Gartside did have an insanely high voice for a man, but man could he use it sweet.

I've always remembered a Rolling Stone review of this album referring to its "air-conditioned, studio-bound feel," and they're right. Most of the sounds are sequenced to within an inch of their lives.

But, well, you've got the opinion of Rolling Stone, and you've got Miles Davis making guest appearances on your records and covering your songs. Which do you think means more?

Got no flowers for your gun, no

Your Inner Retro Girl Is

1960s Hippie Chick

What Retro Girl Are You?

Well I'll be good and goddamned

The new version of Doctor Who [was] among the winners at the British equivalent of the Emmy Awards Sunday night.

'Doctor Who' actress Billie Piper, who plays Rose on the revamped sci-fi hit, was on hand to accept the show's BAFTA trophy for best drama. 'Doctor Who' was also the audience pick for best TV program of 2005...

Doctor Who picked up two honours at the British Academy of Film and Television Arts gala in London: best drama series and the Pioneer Audience Award for best program of 2005, a prize voted on by television viewers.

Winning the audience honour was "lovely, it's gobsmacking," Doctor Who writer Russell T. Davies told the BBC. "It's a programme that children watch and the family watch."

Davies also won BAFTA's Dennis Potter Award for outstanding writing for television.

If you'll forgive me indulging my inner fanboy for a minute...I could almost cry.

Why? Because Russell T. Davies...the fuckers actually done it! After over 40 years, he's turned Doctor Who into a hit, mainstream award-winning, drama series! Can any other science-fiction writer/producer make that claim for their own program?

Note to self:

Publishers Weekly has an article about the recent surprise success of a short book from a small publishing house, How Would a Patriot Act?, by blogger Glenn Greenwald.

At a time when the bestseller lists are loaded with entries from only America's largest houses, when millions will soon be paid for Valerie Plame's memoir and Little, Brown mourns the half-mill it spent on a bad, very bad Harvard student, a tiny book from a heretofore nonexistent publishing house suddenly becomes the highest-ranking title on Amazon.com for three straight days.

How did a San Francisco–based do-gooder telecom organization—20-year-old Working Assets is primarily a wireless and credit card company that has donated millions to what cofounder and CEO Laura Scher describes as "progressive" causes, such as Greenpeace, Amnesty International and Planned Parenthood—suddenly find itself in the book business? First, it hired editorial director Jennifer Nix "to find ways to bring the progressive message into larger media." She immediately contacted Greenwald, who'd recently given up his day job as a lawyer to blog full time on glenngreenwald.blogspot. He agreed to write a book for a small advance in a short time. Patriot was finished in April and sent out to a printer (Donnelley, which Working Assets had used to print some of its phone bills and flyers); while still in conversations with PGW about distribution, Nix got an ISBN number and then submitted the book to Amazon. For promotion, she relied on Greenwald's popular blog and "about five or six" other bloggers to spread the word. Obviously, they managed to do so.

I don't have much to add, I just want to make sure I know where this article is...should I need it in the future...

Second verse! Same as the first!

Okay, now you know the words, everybody join in with me for the chorus!

President Bush's approval rating has slumped to 31% in a new USA TODAY/Gallup Poll, the lowest of his presidency and a warning sign for Republicans in the November elections.

Only four presidents have scored lower approval ratings since the Gallup Poll began regularly measuring it in the mid-1940s: Harry Truman, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter and the first George Bush. When Nixon, Carter and the elder Bush sank below 35%, they never again registered above 40%.

Truman twice sank into the low 30s and then rose into the 60s, but the third time his rating fell, it stayed below 40% as well.

One Step Forward And One Step Right

For reasons that are not mysterious, Pam's House Blend has been all over the Mary Cheney pieces of recent days. For example, today Pam has replies to a couple of articles. I heartily recommend following that link and reading her entry, as well as the more-excellent-than-usual comments section.

Here's my own comments on the articles. The first is written by a couple of lesbians who used to work for the HRC. The thrust of that article seems to be that despite what Cheney has done in the past (or, more to the point, what she has not done), the chances for what she may do in the future mean the gay community should let bygones be bygones.

I'm not a member of the gay community but if I were, I'd be disinclined to give her such a pass, for reasons I'll get into with the second article. It's a profile that appeared in USA Today, containing this charming piece of denial:

Numerous gay rights supporters — and an infamous webcampaign called "Where is Mary Cheney?" — called on her to speak out against Bush's stand and considered her sexuality fair game. "Fair game?" she writes in the book. "My sexuality is fair game? It was completely outrageous."

Sigh. No, Mary, your sexuality is not fair game, your hypocrisy is. You were taking hush money from men who were actively trying to deny rights to people just like you, only not as wealthy and powerful...

You know, suddenly I don't feel like beating around the bush (no pun intended). Mary Cheney is a whore.

Okay, the General Michael Hayden thing

You've probably heard from the other blogs about a clip making the rounds from last January in which General Michael Hayden, Bush's nominee for the new head of the C.I.A., would seem to demonstrate a less than all-encompassing grasp of the Fourth Amendment.

That's the one that refers to unlawful and unreasonable searches and seizures. Mark Evanier has some discussion of Hayden's remarks, and the clip in question. Mark sez:

In fairness, there is a way to interpret Hayden's remarks that isn't quite as clueless as he may have seemed that day. The reporter, Jonathan Landay, suggested that the government has to have probable cause to execute a search that does not violate an American's right against unlawful searches and seizures. That's not exactly right, either. The Fourth Amendment says there can be no unreasonable searches and seizures, period. That's probably the point Hayden was trying to make.

...the General's error came when the reporter asked, "Does it not say 'probable cause?'" Hayden said no, which left him wide open to the charge that he really didn't know those words were in the Fourth Amendment. But he may have meant, "No, it does not say that in quite the way you're presenting it." In which case, his mistake was not in also saying something like, "Yes, I know the words 'probable cause' are in the Fourth Amendment," and explaining the precious distinction he was trying to make.

Mark may well have a valid point here but to me the most telling thing about the clip is how flipping pissy Hayden is about answering the question. He doesn't just state the truth as he believes it to be, which leaves room for later correction along the lines of: You know what? I misspoke.

No, he runs his mouth about how "If there's one thing he knows," it's the Fourth Amendment, prior to demonstrating that in fact, he doesn't know it all that well. Which makes him, I suppose, yet another perfect Bush nominee.

It's not just that they're ignorant. It's not just that they're arrogant. It's that they're arrogant about being ignorant.

ETA-Unclaimed Territory recaps the broader objections to Hayden's nomination, and shows again the Democrats tendency to shoot themselves in the foot:

...the extremely unpopular Bush nominates as CIA Director (a) an active military general who (b) is a close ally of Dick Cheney, (c) is the person most responsible for, and associated with, the illegal NSA program, and (d) has caused a serious break between Bush and his most reliable Congressional allies. And the first instinct of Democrats like Feinstein and Harman is to prevent any Democratic message unity on this issue and to jump to the defense of the President by defending his pick and insisting that the NSA scandal not even be talked about.

...think that life is full of limitations?

Article in the New York Times asking the question:

When someone is very good at a given thing, what is it that actually makes him good?

As it turns out, the old jokes actually are the best jokes. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, man, practice.

Deliberate practice entails more than simply repeating a task — playing a C-minor scale 100 times, for instance, or hitting tennis serves until your shoulder pops out of its socket. Rather, it involves setting specific goals, obtaining immediate feedback and concentrating as much on technique as on outcome.

A lot of this may sound suspiciously like the kind of advice you got from your parents-those of you who had good parents, that is. But now, there's research by a man named Ericsson to back it up.

...when it comes to choosing a life path, you should do what you love — because if you don't love it, you are unlikely to work hard enough to get very good. Most people naturally don't like to do things they aren't "good" at. So they often give up, telling themselves they simply don't possess the talent for math or skiing or the violin. But what they really lack is the desire to be good and to undertake the deliberate practice that would make them better.

"I think the most general claim here," Ericsson says of his work, "is that a lot of people believe there are some inherent limits they were born with. But there is surprisingly little hard evidence that anyone could attain any kind of exceptional performance without spending a lot of time perfecting it." This is not to say that all people have equal potential. Michael Jordan, even if he hadn't spent countless hours in the gym, would still have been a better basketball player than most of us. But without those hours in the gym, he would never have become the player he was.

Okay, the Rush Limbaugh/Patrick Kennedy thing

I haven't said anything here about Rush Limbaugh being arrested for illegal drug use, or Patrick Kennedy enterting treatment. Back on Firedoglake, Jane Hamsher says it better than I ever could:

[Rush] and his apologists on the right hope to keep him afloat with some phony story that draws a distinction between legal and illegal drug use. Rush was a drug gobbling pig who sent his $370 a week maid out to cop for him. He doctor shopped. He knew what he was doing was illegal and he tried to cover it up. He’s spent a lifetime bashing the ACLU but wasn’t afraid to go running to them when he suddenly started valuing his right to privacy, something he’s also spent a good deal of wind trying to destroy for others. Rush’s whole pitch is based on self-pity, deception and the demand for rights he would deny anyone else in the same situation.

It's the hypocrisy, stupid.

Oh God, Book II (UPDATED)

Update: Just to compare and contrast, "Herbster" dug up a couple of other "best moments of my Presidency" quotes. From the likes of President Carter, who a right-wing web page recently called "a disgrace to the human race," and President Clinton, who got impeached.

But they were still able to name "best moments of [their] Presidencies" that weren't bullshit jock stories they made up.

Original post:

So: Remember yesterday, when I told you that, when asked to name the high point of his Presidency to date, George W. Bush said

"I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound perch in my lake."

Well, obviously, my point at the time was that even those of us who think Bush is a drunken frat boy of an excuse for a President could come up with better answers than that. But, as always, there's more.

...the world's record for the largest freshwater perch caught is 4 pounds 3 ounces.

Oh, my god. It's really, absolutely true. He lies about everything.

Source: AmericaBlog.

Would you believe, even more more words to live by?

From the introdction to The Modern Library Writer's Workshop, by Stephen Koch:

But there are no rules. Please remember that. There are no rules. The moment some precept or other obstructs your path rather than opens it, you must stride right past it. The moment some opinion acts to stifle your work rather than help it onto the page, you must banish its power.

In a sense, this is exciting

These pictures from the That '70s Show wrap party show Laura Prepon looking the best she has since The Unfortunate Incident. You know, in the eight years that show's been on the air, every time I've seen it I had the same question: Why do they waste valuable camera time shooting anyone who isn't Laura Prepon?

But maybe that's just me.

For you ladies who would like to attract the kind of man who gets turned on by the smell of Play-Dough...

Good news!

ahhh... yeah?

Which fucked-up genius composer are you?

Tom Waits... charismatic story-teller with a penchant for freaky people and unusual settings. You thrive on the concept of the underdog coming out on top.
Take this quiz!








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Again, never seen it...anyone know if this is a good character to be?

You Are Gilbert From "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" You are very giving and self-sacrificing. You're always there to lend a helping hand to family and friends. However, this generous nature often robs you of fulfilling your needs and desires, and may cause you to become resentful. Find a way to balance your kindness with your independence.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

Oh...my...god!

Last month, I learned that one of the diva cast members of my first play when it was produced in Tennessee has turned up on MySpace. Where she has proclaimed that her best memory of the time her friend, the amateur director, spent living in that godforsaken state was the time they, as she remembers it, "told [me] off." Me, Ben Varkentine, whom she mentions by name.

Now-putting aside that I remember it differently-when I think of my best memories of my friends, I think of late night conversations, in person or on the phone, when we tried to make each other laugh and otherwise help each other get through. I think of kindnesses offered and generosities extended without expectation of reward, simply because they could.

I do not think of putting the boot in to a writer who has just seen his work shit on, as well as having spent a week away from home, during which, oh yes, his cat died.

One last thing: As much as I may have made a fetish of Tennessee-bashing on this blog or on the old one, you know what you've never seen me do? Use the names of the divas and amateurs in question. I dunno, I thought that might be...oh what is the word..."childish."

Now, in the words of Bill Cosby, "I told you that story to tell you this one." I think what someone thinks of as their "best memory" reveals much about their character. Which brings me to President Bush.

Via AmericaBlog:

"You know, I've experienced many great moments and it's hard to name the best," Bush told weekly Bild am Sonntag when asked about his high point since becoming president in January 2001.

"I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound (3.402 kilos) perch in my lake," he told the newspaper in an interview published on Sunday.

Everybody's a critic

I was awakened this morning after two AM by the phone ringing. I'd taken sleeping pills so I was unable to swim up in time to answer it, but the ringing did penetrate. By the time I struggled over to the phone, whoever it was had left a message on my voice mail.

So I punched in the code to retrive my messages. Now, like you perhaps, when my phone rings after two AM, I worry. A family member taken sick?

The message on my voice mail consisted of a male voice I did not recognize critisizing my outgoing message.

Try going back to sleep...

I can see wanting to set a world record

...but isn't this milking it?

Thank you, good night everybody...

"Are you my mommy?"

Photo via Shakespeare's Sister.

Now, about those hookers...

...specifically, the ones involved in the scandal that may well have forced Porter Goss' resignation.

I know what you're saying.

You're saying, isn't there any way in which they could be gay hookers, and thus expose the George W. Bush administration as being hypocrites on an even grander scale than we might have dreamed possible?

Well, guess what...

(As Muskie Muskrat might say: "It's possi-bull, it's possi-bull ...")

Another private citizen doing reporters job for them (UPDATED)

Update: The audience member referenced below was Ray McGovern, who spent 27 years of his life as a analyst for the CIA. Unclaimed Territory has a post about the utterly predictable smear campaign the extreme-right websites have launched against him.

Glenn Greenwald concludes:

Not only is a lopsided majority of Americans (like McGovern) against the war in Iraq, they also believe (like McGovern) that the Bush administration "intentionally misled" the country into war. The fringe, radical, discredited views on the war are not those expressed by McGovern, but are those expressed by Instadpundit, LGF and company. And yet those same extremists continue to classify people who oppose the war as "radicals"and "leftists" because they apparently still believe -- even in the face of all that evidence to the contrary -- that it is their pro-war views which represent what mainstream Americans believe.

To which I'll just add: Can we impeach them (all) nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow?

Original post:

Speaking in Atlanta today, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was sharply questioned about his pre-war claims about WMD in Iraq. An audience member confronted Rumsfeld with his 2003 claim about WMD, “We know where they are.” Rumsfeld falsely claimed he never said it. The audience member then read Rumsfeld’s quote back to him, leaving the defense secretary speechless.

--Think Progress.

I like this kid

Remember Pink's "Dear Mr. President," the political song I've mentioned a couple of times in recent months? Well, in Coral Springs, Florida, a 10-year-old girl, Molly Shoul, wanted to sing it at her school talent show.

She's not being allowed to, as

"This is a fifth-grade student that wants to perform a song filled with lyrics about drug use, war, abortion, gay rights and profanity," said district spokeswoman Nadine Drew. "This is an elementary school that includes kindergarteners and pre-K students."

Now, there's one or two lies in that statement, as the news story above properly lists. For one thing,

The song does not mention abortion, and the profanity mentioned is the word "hell."

But believe it or not, I'm not completely deaf to to the concerns some parents might have about hearing such a song performed before such a young audience, much as I like it. If they'd asked me, I would have said she should go ahead and do it, but it's not what I see as a great newsworthy act of censorship that she's not being allowed to.

To me the more noteworthy part of all of this is...how cool is a 10-year-old girl who wants to get up in front of her entire school and sing a song about important subjects like speaking truth to power?

Molly said she liked the way the song addressed the president directly.

"He should try to listen to what other people say, not just himself," she said.

On the off chance that Molly and/or her mother are Yahoo! searching her name & come across this blog: Way to go, kid.

One thing does concern me, however. The last paragraph of the news story is:

Assuming the decision stands, Molly said she plans to select a new song for the show later this month with a message she thinks school officials wouldn't object to: A hip-hop song about two girls fighting over a boy.

I suppose it's always good to reinforce that "catfight" instinct as early and often as possible. The message, then: Speaking out on issues in which you believe=bad. Fighting over boys=good!

Don't you believe it Molly, wherever you are.

The Democrats: It's time for Tough Love

John Aravosis raises the question of whether liberals ought to lay off the Democrats till the election, "for the good of the party.":

I think at some point we can hurt ourselves by helping create a public perception that our party has no message and is spineless. Then again, it’s not like they need much help creating that perception - chicken and egg.

Jedmunds responds:

...when Chuck Schumer decides that Bob Casey will win a Senate seat in Pennsylvania, it’s not only a consequence that he must win that seat without me. It’s a matter of the two of them figuring out how to win that seat with my active, petulant, and whining opposition. When someone like Maria Cantwell decides to vote for cloture on a filibuster of Samuel Alito’s elevation to the Supreme Court, the consequence is that I’m going to have to support her Green opponent, Aaron Dixon for her Senate seat. When Democrats mince around and run from the great “war president” on every issue of national security, no matter how unconsionable, no matter how obviously so, I’m going to say something, and not that I particulary care, but it’s not my words that create a perception, but the actions of meek politicians who create a reality to discern.

I’m not inclined to trouble myself with some sort of mental jujitsu. I just can’t concern myself with the ever futile effort of trying to influence the oligarchs of the democratic party anymore. If Democrats want my support, if they want me to say nice things about them, then it’s up to them to make the effort to get on my good side.

And if I were susceptible to being swayed by frightening spectres into voting against my better judgement, I’d probably be a Republican.

I believe I agree with Jedmunds.

You have absolutely got to be motherfucking kidding me

There is a school of thought that suggests that all of Tom Cruise's recent publicity worries-the fact that he's now best known as the lunatic who dances on a couch, etc-stem from his firing his longtime publicist and hiring his sister to replace her.

He's since fired the sister, but it seems when it comes to coming up with ideas that don't look crazy, he and his people just can't catch a break. Case in point:

The plan was to conceal digital audio players in 4,500 randomly selected newspaper boxes around Los Angeles and Ventura County. When newspaper buyers opened the racks, the six inch long, two-and-a-half inch wide red plastic boxes -- connected to activator switches on the news rack doors -- would play the easily-recognizable "Mission: Impossible" theme song.

Despite the simplicity of the plan, the digital audio players and the red, white and black wires leading to their activator switches did not stay concealed.

See if you can spot the flaw in this plan. Concealed small boxes, connected to activator switches by red, white and black wires. Guess what happened next.

One newspaper buyer saw the device and switch, thought it was a bomb and called authorities. After an inspection of the newspaper rack could not determine whether the device was explosive, the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department bomb squad blew up the newspaper rack.

Best of all, one of the boxes was found by a Veterans Hospital that had to be evacuated.

Nikki Baker, public affairs specialist for the V.A. in Los Angeles, {said:]

"Lives were at risk. Doctors could not get into the building. The evening shift personnel, also, could not get into the building," Baker said. "There were operations that needed to be performed and people were really at a standstill because of this."

"The Los Angeles Times and Paramount Pictures had the financial means and human resources to install these 4,500 small music boxes all over the city," Baker said. "But, they didn't think about us. They didn't think about our patients.

"The lack of foresight and the absolute failure to adequately communicate this information to us," she continued, "was just really uncalled for."

Good one, boys and girls.

Oh, and...

You remember Porter Goss? He's the highly partisan Republican lawmaker turned CIA director. Even though he himself felt he was unqualified to hold that position and didn't have the required skills, I guess he figured, in the Bush administration, qualifications and skills are not a plus.

Well, he's resigned now. Why? Let's ask my latest internet crush, Georgia10 of Daily Kos fame...

This isn't part of some White House shake-up. This is a scandal-plagued Bush appointee resigning just as an investigation into another Republican corruption scandal hits too close to home.

It is Goss's hand-picked #3 man at the CIA, Kyle "Dusty" Foggo who is under serious investigation in connection with a massive bribery scheme that touches on sweetheart deals, million dollar contracts, and yes, even hookers.

You will recall that Ken Silverstein, based on a source, noted that the prostitution scandal could touch a former lawmaker "who now holds a powerful intelligence post." Speculation abounded that Porter Goss fit that description perfectly.

The difference between wit and humor

As defined via The Opinion Mill:

In his book Paradigms Lost, John Simon points out that humor and wit are nearly polar opposites. Humor is inclusive: it invites everyone to join in on the laugh and feel like one of the crowd. Wit is exclusive: it addresses itself only to those who are in the know, and if the other people in the room feel uncomfortable because they don't get it -- hey, that's a bonus. Colbert's performance was a display of wit at its most lethally cutting. He went into a room with the most powerful man in the world and his courtiers, and he excluded them from the land of the free and the home of the brave.

No such thing as tomorow, only one two three go!

Sit down, got another letter to write
Think hard, got to get the letter just right
There's a ringing on the telephone
Oh no, got to write a letter later
No such thing as tomorrow, only one two three go!

Time - got the time tick-tick-tickin' in my head
Time - got the time tick-tick-tickin' in my head
Time - got the time tick-tick-tickin' in my head
Tickin' in my head, tickin' in my head, tickin' in my head

If I tell you what I'm doing today
Will you shut up and get out of my way?
Someone asked me what the time is,
I don't know
Only know I gotta go now

No time - gotta get a watch repaired
No time - haven't got a thing to wear
Hear the ringin' of the telephone no no
Hear a ringin' in my head now
No such thing as tomorrow, only one two three go!
--Joe Jackson, "Got The Time"

I told you it was all a game

Mannion has a good post on the boys and girls in the glass bubble:

They cover politics as if it is a game, as if the people involved, the "players," are players, colorful characters whose quirks and foibles make their stories funnier or more dramatic, but whose political views are no more important than a ballplayer's pet superstitions or diligent pursuit of an arcane record. It's not just Joe Klein. He's the model. That Tom Delay is a thief and a thug and a posed a real threat to the useful functioning of the government never seemed to figure in the coverage of him, even as he disappears back down the sewer out of which he came. The Bug Man, the Hammer, he's just contemporary Washington's Ty Cobb, isn't he?

He also goes on to give the clearest explaination of why, as Media Matters has been documenting, the traditional media have been rolling over like dogs to get their tummy rubbed over Bush's funny skit last Saturday. While ignoring Stephen Colbert's routine, when they're not bashing him for "crossing the line."

And only wishy-washy liberals (like yours truly) seem to remember Bush's funny, funny routine from a year or two ago in which he made jokes about the lies for which he's sent other people's children to their deaths. That wasn't crossing the line, to those who are now complaining about Stephen Colbert.

Why? Because, as Manion sez:

...Bush's "joke" keeps the game going. Colbert's jokes spoiled the fun of pretending it's all a game.

Emphasis mine.

PS: I'm sorry if any of you think I'm overdoing the Colbert posts, but the more I think about it, the more I think this was one of the great moments in American political satire.

ETA and expand on that: Glenn Greenwald found a paragraph I somehow missed from a couple of years back, in which Elisabeth Bumiller, who is supposed to be a reporter for the New York Times, flat-out admitted that she is incapable of doing her job-

I think we were very deferential because … it's live, it's very intense, it's frightening to stand up there. Think about it, you're standing up on prime-time live TV asking the president of the United States a question when the country's about to go to war. There was a very serious, somber tone that evening, and no one wanted to get into an argument with the president at this very serious time.

-and offers another reason why most national "journalists" have been faced with a choice between smearing Colbert and ignoring him:

...they hate Stephen Colbert for doing what they were supposed to do but were so blatantly unwilling and afraid to do, and so they have to smear his act of courage by tossing up their noses and characterizing it as some very offensive breach of etiquette, even depicting his criticissm of the President as being cowardly.

Stephen Colbert did what I don't remember reading about very many political satirists doing: He went into the lions den, and critisized the President of the United States when he was standing three feet from him. Does Garry Trudeau do that? Did Mark Twain?

Does anybody?

Colbert in 2008. It's the only solution.

I'll accept that.

The Pyrrhonian The results are in, and it appears that you have scored 47%...

Quietly confident and aloof, the Pyrrhonian recognises that religions exist and that people subscribe to them, but manages to keep well out of it all. Pyrrhonians came to the realisation long ago that all matters of faith are beyond the scope of reason or argument, and thus retains a clear-headed skeptical approach to religion in general. They refuse to place belief in anything for which there is no proof, and regard the majority of theistic claims as irreconcilable. Leading a life of tranquility undisturbed by religious concerns, the position of the Pyrrhonian is enviable, if a little frustrating for others at times.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on pentagrams

Link: The Atheist Test written by chi_the_cynic on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Pam's House Blend has a few words for Mary Cheney

...who, with a book to sell, is suddenly mouthing words of discomfort about having helped elect her father and his monkey. Somewhere, I hope someone is keeping a record of all the Republicans in the "too little, too late" club for those GOP members who only convieniently realized after the 2004 elections things like that the Republican party is-absolutely-the party of bigots.

Ms. Cheney simpers and whines about how it was a very tough decision to work for the party that, if her father were not wealthy and powerful, would treat her with approximately the same care with which he treats his hunting buddies.

In response to an article that said:

...gay rights activists say that Cheney's silence is just a form of hypocrisy...Her reply to their criticism is simple. "We each have to choose our own path," she said. "I respect their opinion. But it is not the path that I would choose for myself."

PHB said:

Which path is that, Mary?

* One that questions "professionally closeted" gays who work for a party that officially considers you a second-class citizen? Jeezus, you're in company with plenty of out gays who work for, support and vote for candidates in a party who are ready to legislate your relationship into legal limbo, the level of delusion is stomach-churning. Happy with that path?

* You couldn't find a way to choose a path that fights for the rights of everyday LGBT citizens, putting your personal mettle to the test to live openly, speak publicly, question those in authority, and distance yourself from a campaign that was demonizing you (instead of further lining your wallet)?

The paycheck versus your principles...everyone knew where you stood then (and were flabbergasted). Now, with this interview, you confirm what a sick and sorry state of mind you're in. I am trying to find a place in my mind where I can pity you, but I simply can't.

There's more. Read it all.

George Lucas has a message for those Star Wars fans who were stupid enough to buy the "special edition" DVDs

That message is...thanks, suckers!

In response to overwhelming demand, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment will release attractively priced individual two-disc releases of Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Each release includes the 2004 digitally remastered version of the movie and, as bonus material, the theatrical edition of the film. That means you'll be able to enjoy Star Wars as it first appeared in 1977, Empire in 1980, and Jedi in 1983.

Source.

I know we can't, but...can we please retire the "George Lucas, Mythmaker" falsehoods now? He's a cynic who doesn't care about anything except separating as much money from your wallet as he can, as many times as he can.

Pardon me, madam. I've come to read your poet.

Stumbled into a blog called SpeedCrash which seems to be a place where a young man named Dagmar Makara posts his poems. Mr. Makara is from Manchester, England...England, across the Atlantic sea..and I'm a genius genius...I believe in god, and I believe that god believes in Claude that's me...sorry.

Anyway, I like the poems. Mr. Makara is 17...and frankly, you'll be able to tell...but I like the poems.

Oh good Lord in Heaven

A radio talk show host named Martha Zoller suggests Stephen Colbert was disrespectful to those who lost their lives on 9/11. Why does she suggest this? Well, follow this with me, won't you? As part of his remarks last Saturday, Colbert said of Bush:

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change, this man's beliefs never will.

To which Zoller sez:

...9/11 was a Tuesday, so that was -- and he probably didn't even think about a that, but for me, having lost friends in the World Trade Towers that was the first thing I thought of.

It's as plain as the nose on your face.

Via Crooks and Liars.

More from Mariano

"...the unofficial official 'mystery artist' of Dictionopolis in Digitopolis." You can see more of his recently-posted work here.

Oh, Howard

So there's this fellow Donald Hitchcock. He's the gay liasion to the Democratic National Committee. Or rather, he was; he was fired recently. Why? Well, the DNC has yet to give a reason for the firing other than "It was decided we needed a change."

But by a remarkable coincidence, the firing took place

less than a week after Hitchcock's domestic partner, Paul Yandura, a longtime party activist, accused [Howard] Dean of failing to take stronger action to defend gays.

Quote from Washington Blade Online.

Over on AmericaBlog, John A. makes what seems to me the safe assumption that

Howard Dean would never fire a straight woman because her husband had criticized the DNC. But somehow when it's a gay couple, Dean has no problem giving the appearance of taking revenge on an employee who has done nothing wrong. Then again, the employee is gay, so you know, perhaps that makes him only three-fifths an employee in the eyes of the DNC.

Challened to defend this in the comments, John adds,

If this were a woman complaining of sexual harrassment, and she were fired five days later, it'd be a case of res ipsa loquitor.

That's Latin for 'the thing speaks for itself,' BTW.

Oh, and by the way...

You know how we're going to war in Iran over the supposed "proliferation of nuclear weapons material" there? Sure is a shame we didn't have anybody tracking that a while back, isn't it? Oh, wait.

We did.

Her name was Valerie Plame.

Glenn Greenwald blogs:

MSNBC reporter David Schuster reported yesterday that at the time the Bush administration disclosed her employment with the CIA, Valerie Plame was working on a project "tracking the proliferation of nuclear weapons material into Iran." Schuster also reported that intelligence sources of his claimed that her disclosure forced her to cease this work and that it disrupted and harmed the efforts of the United States to obtain intelligence relating to Iran's weapons activities.

When spoiler warnings go too far

Actual blog headline:

Movie Review: United 93 ** Spoilers **

Via Hullabaloo.

I knew he was okay with the paintings and the drawings and all, but who knew he could write good?

Vincent van Gogh:

'But I must continue on the path I have taken now; if I do nothing, if I don't study, if I stop searching, then I am lost, in misery. That is how I see things, persevere, persevere, that is what I must do. But what is your final goal, you may ask. That goal is becoming more clear, it will take shape slowly but surely, as the scribble becomes a sketch and the sketch becomes a painting. As one works more seriously, and embrodiers on the initially vague idea, the thought at first volatile and transient-until it takes on a concrete form.'

July 1880

As you watch this, ask yourself what Bugs puts his pen and paper away into

My new favorite blog has clips from Rabbit Hood. The second (from the top) features one of my all-time favorite "Bugs' adversary gets carried away with the moment" gags. But notice how for the purposes of producing and then removing pen and parchment, Bugs' torso suddenly seems to have pockets.

Stephen Colbert: The Aftershock

At last year's White House Correspondent's dinner, you'll remember that when the president joshed and giggled about not finding the weapons of mass destruction, the press laughed and laughed. They just love it when the president makes fun of himself. It reminds them of why they love him --- and why they are better than he is.

I sorry to report that this year, in an alarming lack of decorum, Stephen Colbert went way over the line --- he lampooned the press corps itself in such a way as to make it seem as if they might be partly responsible for why 70% of the nation feels the country is on the wrong track. Making fun of politicians is one thing. They are a slightly lower life form. But the press itself? Implying they are complicit in all this unpleasantness with war and what not? Well, that simply isn't done.

Hullabaloo

I can't accept that.

"Silent Hill" director Christophe Gans reportedly had some unkind things to say about our man Roger Ebert in a recent issue of a magazine called Electronic Gaming Monthly. Ebert quotes and answers them in this week's installment of his Answer Man column.

He begins:

In the article, Gans praises video games as a form of art and says "The Legend of Zelda" was "a beautiful, poetic moment for me."

See above. No, I can't accept that. I'll accept that there can be beautiful, poetic moments in comic books, movies, music, puppet shows and music videos, but video games? No. No, I don't think so.

Neil Young: Champion of free speech?

It's your call.

Yay...(updated w/additions)

Stephen Colbert performed before Bush at the White House Correspondents Dinner last night. According to early reports, the President was not amused. That's just fine, the President thinks the golfer's joke about only hitting two balls when you step on a rake is funny, not to mention death row prisoners and sending other people's children to die because of a falsehood.

The President thinks that's really frickin' hilarious. We're not talking about a JFK here when it comes to an appreciation of quality humor.

Oh, wondering at what the President was not amused? At this:

[Colbert] attacked those in the press who claim that the shake-up at the White House was merely re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. “This administration is soaring, not sinking,” he said. “If anything, they are re-arranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg.”

Also lampooning the press, Colbert complained that he was “surrounded by the liberal media who are destroying this country, except for Fox News. Fox believes in presenting both sides of the story — the president’s side and the vice president’s side." He also reflected on the alleged good old days, when the media was still swallowing the WMD story.

Addressing the reporters, he said, "Let's review the rules. Here's how it works. The president makes decisions, he’s the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know--fiction."

Go, Stephen, go.

Colbert closed his routine with a video fantasy where he gets to be White House Press Secretary, complete with a special “Gannon” button on his podium. By the end, he had to run from Helen Thomas and her questions about why the U.S. really invaded Iraq and killed all those people.

Several veterans of past dinners, who requested anonymity, said the presentation was more directed at attacking the president than in the past. Several said previous hosts, like Jay Leno, equally slammed both the White House and the press corps.

Colbert in 2008!

ETA: What's interesting is that the people who are criticizing Colbert's performance this morning-The Moderate Voice has a sampling-seem to be doing it from the POV of people who don't watch Stephen's show, and don't know what he does. By most accounts that I have read so far, he had the balls to turn the Correspondent's Dinner into an episode of The Colbert Report-which presumably is what they hired him to do.

I have to wonder, though, whether long, stern conversations haven't been held with whoever books that dinner in the hours since ("What, Dennis Miller wasn't avalible?").

ETA, again: Mark Evanier wonders-

I'd also be curious to know what Colbert's goal was...and it may not have just been to entertain the folks out front in the formal wear. If it was, he probably went about it the wrong way. When you hammer the president that much right in front of him, you make an awful lot of people uncomfy...and not just the ones who side with the guy. I thought some of Colbert's lines were brilliant but if I'd been in the room, I might have spent more time looking at the reactions of others (Bush, especially) to some of them than laughing. On the other hand, Colbert's main objective may have been to cultivate a certain image as a performer...or simply to express his views. He could well have succeeded in one or both of those.

To reiterate: What interests me more than the question of Colbert's goal is what was the expectation of whoever offered him the job? I can hardly believe this is true, but...do you suppose someone saw a few episodes of his show and...didn't realize he was being ironic?

ETA, one more time: A blog called enrevanche has more.

A few choice Colbert lines:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I believe it's yogurt. But I refuse to believe it's not butter. Most of all I believe in this president. Now, I know there's some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias."

"John McCain is here. John McCain. What a maverick. Somebody find out what fork he used on his salad, because I guarantee you wasn't a salad fork. He could have used a spoon. There's no predicting him. So wonderful to see you coming back into the Republican fold. Senator, I have a summer house in South Carolina; look me up when you go to speak at Bob Jones University. So glad you've seen the light... Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city. Yeah, give it up. Mayor Nagin, I would like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow center. And a graham cracker crust of corruption."

Oh, my god...