Und jetzt, für einen Handelsbruch!

Jest a random piece of wallpaper that I found and liked.

Fair enough--he's not so much of a has-been, more of a never really was

AP headline:

Don't call ex-Vice President Cheney a has-been

Here we see, again, the bizarre obsession the press seems to have with giving weight to the opinions of absolute failures (also see: Gingrich, Newt).

At this point, Cheney's speaking up should be greeted roundly with,

"Go fuck yourself, Emperor Cheney."

But instead, they insist upon treating him as if he were the statue of Lincoln come back to life.

This was five blocks from my nephew's school.

A distraught father described as suicidal and threatening a “bloodbath” was shot by police after holding his 20-month-old son hostage Friday.

The toddler is OK.

The father’s wound is considered non life-threatening.

The child will be cared for by family members.

We didn't find out about it till I got the kid home. His mom asked him if there'd been a lockdown at his school today, and explained what that was. When he asked why she told us about the hostage situation. "Your mom's saying she was worried about you," I told him.

"Lockdowns" "Hostage situations"...these are problems we didn't have, when I was in school.

Dear Roger, like, I love you, man, but are you only just now figuring that out?

From Roger Ebert's review of Terminator Salvation:

One of Hollywood's oldest axioms teaches us: The story comes first. Watching "Terminator Salvation," it occurred to me that in the new Hollywood, the storyboard comes first.

dragons dancing on the wind

This illustration is by Ros Baron.

Alright, what's going on here?

What is up with the stars of my favorite TV series ending up in the remake of Nightmare on Elm St? First it was Thomas "the real John Connor" (burn in hell, Fox) Dekker, now it's the totally gorgeous; totally good actress Connie Britton, of Friday Night Lights.


Go figure.

Come with me, and we'll be, in a world of total Schadenfreude

Ahem.

The reviews for Terminator Salvation are out.

The Rotten Tomatoes consensus:

With storytelling as robotic as the film's iconic villains, Terminator Salvation offers plenty of great effects but lacks the heart of the original films.

Gee, I wonder where storytelling with heart might've gone?

Now, just for fun, let me quote from a few of the reviews...

There's not much here in the way of way of humanity, even with the strong feminine presence of actresses...It seems the machines have already won.

Christy Lemire
Associated Press

Gee, I wonder where the humanity might've gone?

there's not so much acting here as there is yelling at different volumes.

Bill Goodykoontz
Arizona Republic

Gee, I wonder where the acting might've gone?

(BTW, just as an aside: "Goodykoontz?" Best name ever.)

Fails because it doesn't really get you excited about the return of the franchise... and a lot of that comes down to the cheesy writing and bad acting.

Edward Douglas
ComingSoon.net

Gee, I wonder where the excitement might've gone?

Way to put all your money on the right horse, Fox.

Could somebody please hit this guy in the face with an oar?

[Christian Bale] kept on saying no to this role of John Connor, until the script got to a place where he could find something interesting.

Bale says he didn't do "a -- of a lot of research" into the back story of John Connor.

And he explains that "Terminator" is not high brow stuff and people do come to see the machines but adds, "the human story is something that is our job to flesh out."

Dear Mr. Bale:

Your film, Terminator 4, was directed by someone whose best film remains Charlie's Angels.

Shut the fuck up.

(What have we learned, people? Actors. Shouldn't. Talk.)

If that's true, then first of all, I'd tell her that outfit has got to go

I feel like this would be more apt if it were read by my man Tobin "Jigsaw" Bell

You Are Red

You are lively and fiery. You embrace the world and live passionately. You are moody but generally enthusiastic. You love so many things. You are able to have a lot of drive and focus. Some people would call this obsession. You are aggressive about getting what you want in life. You look out for yourself first.

What Primary Color Are You?

This, on the other hand, is a good song.

It's not your fault, Dita, it was just a bad song

Following up on my last Dita Von Teese post...

Dita Von Teese has expressed her shock after landing a lowly 20th position in the Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday. The Queen of Burlesque, who shared the stage with Germany’s Alex Swings Oscar Sings, was left facing disappointment after she failed to grab the top spot in the competition that saw participation of 25 countries

Buddha at the hairdresser.

Oh...god...

Ok. I've been following what's apparently being called the "MySpace hoax" (this week) for at least several months now. As ever, I object to dragging the technology into it--this is a case of allegedly grown people who decided to be cruel to a 13-year-old. For sport. And did so till she killed herself. The method they used is immaterial.

But anyway. There's many things about this case that keep giving me sour jolts. The latest is in this item saying that sentencing is being delayed for Lori Drew, the woman convicted, while a judge reviews testimony.

[The Judge] was concerned that sentencing Drew for violating a Web site's service terms might set a dangerous precedent. He said millions of people either don't read service terms, as happened in Drew's case, or give false information.

Millions of people don't take it upon themselves to drive children to suicide, either, your honor. The father of the mentally abused girl, Megan Meier, said it in your courtroom today:

Ron Meier, his voice trembling, said he's lived in seclusion since his daughter's death and believes Megan was bullied by Drew.

"It just sickens me that it was an adult who was playing with the mind of a 13-year-old," he said as Drew looked on. "I truly believe prisons were made for people like Lori Drew."

But sadly, bitterly, this part of the story is old news.

Here's what brought me up short. Because, you know, what is really missing from this story? What could possibly make me revise my opinion of the grown-ups involved--who I already think of as having left the human race and left no forwarding address--lower?

That's right, kids.

Homosexual panic.

Prosecutors said Drew sought to humiliate Megan Meier by helping create a fictitious teen boy with the help of her then-13-year-old daughter Sarah and business assistant Ashley Grills on MySpace and sending flirtatious messages to the girl in his name.

Prosecutors believe Drew and her daughter, who was friends with Megan, created the profile to find out if Megan was spreading rumors about Sarah. Grills testified she received a message from Megan in mid-2006, calling Drew's daughter a lesbian.

Emphasis mine.

So you see, they were entirely justified in hounding a child into death.

She'd called one of them a lesbian...and them's fightin' words, where they come from.

I can't stand it.

How to teach my nephew about the presidents

Trust me, he'll love it.

(Click, of course)

More proof that the best shows don't do well in the ratings (with the possible exception of House).

Oh, well. As expected,

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is NOT on the schedule for next season.

I'm saddened, but of course, not really surprised. As most if not all of you know I was a devoted fan, but it just wasn't delivering the ratings it deserved. A lot of folks will be blaming Fox right about now, but I don't feel like doing that.

As I said about Life, I try really hard not to expect television executives not to act like television executives. They kept it on the air two years, even when it couldn't be what they were expecting from a Terminator show.

Although...again as with Life, there is one thing I do blame Fox for: They tried to sell the show almost entirely on the basis of "Summer Glau is hot." Which she is. But the show (and Glau's character) was about so much more than that--strong women not being the least of it.

And the teeth do grind to think that Bones, which this year started going downhill and picking up speed, has been renewed two more years. Whereas Terminator, which hadn't even peaked yet, has not. But you can't blame Fox for that--Bones wins its timeslot.

I hope that as time goes on, when both seasons are available on DVD, people will realize what a rare series Terminator was. It really shone. Exciting, with Emmy-worthy (if anybody had been watching the damn show) performances.

And from some unexpected sources: Who knew someone as hot as Shirley Manson could be so chilling? From top to bottom, the cast was made of actors I'll be watching for in the future...heh..."in the future..."

If you judge a show by the caliber of guest stars it attracts (and that's certainly one way), Terminator was good enough for a couple of veterans of West Wing (Richard Schiff and Josh Malina) to drop by.

At least I still have Friday Night Lights...

And I'll still be hoping for the new film to suck.

ETA: ABC has cancelled Samantha Who? and I'm not sorry. It started out as a really strong vehicle for Christina Applegate, but couldn't sustain for a second season.

The Unusuals also won't be back, and now that I am sorry about.

"Friends, just heard The Unusuals will not be back for a second season," series creator Noah Hawley shared Sunday via his Twitter account. "Thanks for all your amazing support. Last [four] episodes start May 27."

I wanted more. But here again, I don't really blame the network...if I blame anyone it's whoever came up with the awful title. Something like "Walsh's House," after lead character Jason Walsh, might've been more appropriate.

One of the things that was most "unusual" about this series was the character development. Exactly six episodes have aired so far and I can honestly say that the people we met in the pilot are not the same as those we left in the sixth.

Well they are, but they aren't. Which was kind of one of the points of the show, I think.

I wish I could've gotten to know them even better...

I'm sorry. Something involving Dita von Teese should not possibly leave me this cold.

Maybe it's because the song is such cheesy crap, not even Dita in a corset can save it.