Thank the lord For small mercies

One of the most frustrating things about getting rejection slips is that they're always so bland and formulaic. The reasons for this are at least twofold: The first reason is that most publishers simply don't have time to write individualized replies for each submission.

The other reason is that nobody wants a piece of paper out there with their name on it giving specific reasons why they rejected a manuscript. Just in case that manuscript then gets bought by another publisher and sells half a million copies.

I understand both these reasons. Nevertheless, it is frustrating. Often, you wish for just a little bit of feedback telling you why they feel your book is "not quite right for our line." That way, you might at least infer some suggestions (which you could then either take or leave).

However, it could be worse. In her recently published scrapbook, Courtney Love reproduces a postcard reply she received from the producers of the New Mickey Mouse Club in 1976:

Thank you for sending us your picture and qualifications for consideration for the SHOWTIME segment of the NEW MICKEY MOUSE CLUB. Since SHOWTIME will feature youngsters who have exceptional singing, dancing or musical ability, with a marked degree of performance experience, we regret that you do not qualify.

(Emphasis mine)

Well! Way to bitch out a 11-year-old kid...

24 + 60 = Five disturbing questions raised by last night's television viewing

One: On 24, I'm sorry, but exactly where does Jack Bauer get the right to be snotty because someone broke under torture? Virtually his entire M.O. is based around the belief that everybody eventually breaks under torture, sooner or later.

And no, saying "Jack was tortured by the Chinese, and he didn't break!" wouldn't cover it. Not even allowing for the real-world reality that Jack is the hero of the series and frequently depicted as well-nigh superhuman.

Within the reality of the series, Jack is a trained, battle-hardened (to say the least) field agent. Morris was not.

Two: Within the reality of 24, how likely is it that a highly placed political operative would be shocked-shocked!-at the idea of a conspiracy against a President? Not even allowing for all the stuff that we as an audience are privy to, enough things have happened in the world of 24 that would be public knowledge.

A conspiracy in that world would be about as surprising as this mess of a war is in ours. Even to a layman. And it seems safe to assume that a man in Lennox's postion would be even more "in the loop."

Three: With Chloe's callous (and kind of out of character even for her) speech to Morris, followed by his returning to work less than two hours after having been tortured: Are we meant to infer that people who protest after being tortured are essentially whiny little crybabies?

I think we are.

Four: Speaking of Chloe, since when is she a demolitions expert? And-

Five: On Studio 60, is there any way to interpret last night's episode as anything other than: Feel sorry for the poor, overworked, overpaid writer that nobody loves, with a drug addiction? I'd like to believe that there is, but I haven't found it yet. If you have, write in.

As mentioned in the past, I don't love Margaret Cho as much as some people

I think she's more hype than really funny or socially important. And if anyone ever asks me why, I think I'll just send them to this entry from her blog-where you can also shop for her DVD, clothing line, and book.

As you will have picked up by now, in a world full of death, sexism, homophobia, fear, racism, and alienation, there are few things I hate quite so much as bad writing.

improvisations in sadism

Hoo-boy. If you still watch "24," (special two-hour block tonight starting at eight, kids) and you want to continue watching...you may not want to read this New Yorker piece on co-creator Joel Surnow. A few excerpts follow. You should read the whole thing, though, if you can.

It's lengthy, and is likely to give you a sinking feeling that swiftly turns queasy. Surnow regurgitates (again) the same old what-if scenario pro-torture people use to justify it we've discussed before. Even though (emphasis in below quote mine):

Bob Cochran, who created the show with Surnow, admitted, “Most terrorism experts will tell you that the ‘ticking time bomb’ situation never occurs in real life, or very rarely. But on our show it happens every week.” According to Darius Rejali, a professor of political science at Reed College and the author of the forthcoming book “Torture and Democracy,” the conceit of the ticking time bomb first appeared in Jean Lartéguy’s 1960 novel “Les Centurions,” written during the brutal French occupation of Algeria. The book’s hero, after beating a female Arab dissident into submission, uncovers an imminent plot to explode bombs all over Algeria and must race against the clock to stop it. Rejali, who has examined the available records of the conflict, told me that the story has no basis in fact. In his view, the story line of “Les Centurions” provided French liberals a more palatable rationale for torture than the racist explanations supplied by others (such as the notion that the Algerians, inherently simpleminded, understood only brute force). Lartéguy’s scenario exploited an insecurity shared by many liberal societies—that their enlightened legal systems had made them vulnerable to security threats.

“24,” which last year won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Drama Series, packs an improbable amount of intrigue into twenty-four hours, and its outlandishness marks it clearly as a fantasy, an heir to the baroque potboilers of Tom Clancy and Vince Flynn. Nevertheless, the show obviously plays off the anxieties that have beset the country since September 11th, and it sends a political message. The series, Surnow told me, is “ripped out of the Zeitgeist of what people’s fears are—their paranoia that we’re going to be attacked,” and it “makes people look at what we’re dealing with” in terms of threats to national security. “There are not a lot of measures short of extreme measures that will get it done,” he said, adding, “America wants the war on terror fought by Jack Bauer. He’s a patriot.”

This past November, U.S. Army Brigadier General Patrick Finnegan, the dean of the United States Military Academy at West Point, flew to Southern California to meet with the creative team behind “24.” Finnegan, who was accompanied by three of the most experienced military and F.B.I. interrogators in the country, arrived on the set as the crew was filming...In fact, Finnegan and the others had come to voice their concern that the show’s central political premise—that the letter of American law must be sacrificed for the country’s security—was having a toxic effect. In their view, the show promoted unethical and illegal behavior and had adversely affected the training and performance of real American soldiers. “I’d like them to stop,” Finnegan said of the show’s producers. “They should do a show where torture backfires.”

[One] expert at the meeting was Tony Lagouranis, a former Army interrogator in the war in Iraq. He told the show’s staff that DVDs of shows such as “24” circulate widely among soldiers stationed in Iraq. Lagouranis said to me, “People watch the shows, and then walk into the interrogation booths and do the same things they’ve just seen.” He recalled that some men he had worked with in Iraq watched a television program in which a suspect was forced to hear tortured screams from a neighboring cell; the men later tried to persuade their Iraqi translator to act the part of a torture “victim,” in a similar intimidation ploy. Lagouranis intervened: such scenarios constitute psychological torture.

Please note: These are not "politically correct" "Hollywood" types saying torture doesn't work. This is the US military, the intelligence community, and former Army interrogators. But the bottom line is Surnow says he doesn't care how many experts tell him torture doesn't work, he simply doesn't believe it.

Discounting the informed opinions of experts so he can behave any way he wants to behave is frightening even in the creator of a TV series. Or rather, in Surnow's case, have Jack Bauer, patriot, behave any way he wants him to behave.

Rremind you of any presidential administrations you know?

He also says:

“There’s a gay network, a black network—there should be a conservative network,”

The man's on Fox and he thinks we need a conservative network.

After you've finished the piece, you may want to read this Hullabaloo post where Digby discusses it:

I'm not all that big a believer in the idea that sending bad "messages" to the troops should dictate what people in a free society are allowed to say or what the policy of the government should be. I think that "24" has its audience and that's probably just the price we have to pay for living in a liberal democracy.

But I'm not sure I think that the highest reaches of government (who have made a fetish out of criticizing Americans for "sending the wrong message" to the troops,) should go this far, particularly when they are constantly telling the rest of us that we should STFU:

Last March, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and his wife, Virginia, joined Surnow and Howard Gordon for a private dinner at Rush Limbaugh’s Florida home. The gathering inspired Virginia Thomas—who works at the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank—to organize a panel discussion on “24.” The symposium, sponsored by the foundation and held in June, was entitled “ ‘24’ and America’s Image in Fighting Terrorism: Fact, Fiction, or Does It Matter?” Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, who participated in the discussion, praised the show’s depiction of the war on terrorism as “trying to make the best choice with a series of bad options.” He went on, “Frankly, it reflects real life.” Chertoff, who is a devoted viewer of “24,” subsequently began an e-mail correspondence with Gordon, and the two have since socialized in Los Angeles. “It’s been very heady,” Gordon said of Washington’s enthusiasm for the show. Roger Director, Surnow’s friend, joked that the conservative writers at “24” have become “like a Hollywood television annex to the White House. It’s like an auxiliary wing.”

Michael Chertoff thinks "24" reflects real life. For the record, Michael Chertoff also thought "the Bush administration did a magnificent job in New Orleans."

Okay, let's hit it (Grammys post-show)

More-or-less off the top of my head:

The Police reunion: Well, the TV director who deprived those of us at home from being able to see their faces as they re-took the stage is an idiot. But man, did I have a smile on my face at the beginning and ending.

But whose fucking idea was it to run a fucking three-song medly by the Eagles (and not even done by them) when Stewart, Andy and Sting only got one? To say nothing of giving Justin Timberlake two songs. N

Nothing (much) against the Eagles, but...oh, and BTW, is it me, ot does the lead singer of Rascal Flatts sound just like Kenny Loggins (who I have even less against, but again...)?

Best line of the night: Just when I think the Dixie Chicks in general, and Natalie Maines in particular, can't get any closer to perfect, they win the best country album of the year, and she says, "Well, to quote the great Simpsons: Heh-Heh." ( a la Nelson Muntz).

Runner up: Ludacris thanking Bill O'Reilly. Heh heh heh.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers seemed kind of tepid to me, but as we know, I don't like (or belive in) rock music much.

I was especially impressed with John Legend, less so but still with Corinne Bailey Rae, and John Mayer remained...John Mayer.

But whoever had the idea of tributing James Brown with Christina Aguilera doing "It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World" is some kind of genius and so was the performance. At the risk of sounding like a prude, I'm glad Aguilera has worked through whatever she was working through during the Dirty period. And is back to reminding people what a motherfucker of a voice she has.

She did look great, too, though.

Speaking of Grammy fashion, Scarlett Johansson, I'm told, wore "a navy-and-black cocktail dress with a fitted corset by Monique Lhuillier" and her tits.
Good news: Nelly "symbol of everything that is wrong with women today" Furtado didn't win anything.

Bad news: Gnarls Barkley decided to make some kind of "statement" or sumthin' by performing "Crazy" with a weird martial beat at half-speed.

Very clever, boys. I'll try to forget that the next time the good version comes on the radio.

Which should be any minute now. Whenever you're reading this, it should be any minute now.

And finally, Carrie Underwood showed me that by having missed her music, I'm not missing much.

That's the darndest thing I've ever seen.

I was going to say just three words about the Obama story on 60 Minutes tonight: Damn, he's good. I can't think of a question I wish they would have asked him, or one I would want him to answer any differently than he did.

That was all I was going to say. But then, towards the end, CBS smeared some of their advertising feces across the screen. As all the networks do in a show of contempt for both their audience and their showmakers.

The Senator and his wife had just been asked whether or not they worried that as a black candidate he would be under a greater threat of assasination. And over a shot of Obama speaking to a typically enraptured crowd, appeared these words:

"Amazing Race All-Stars"

Given the multiple meanings available of the word race, and the fact that Obama is definitely (and rightly) considered a star, this was a hideously inappropriate gaffe. Was it unintentional? I''m inclined to think so. My reading recently (most especially Truth & Duty) suggests to me that at CBS, news is very much under the thumb of the entertainment division, to its detriment.

I'd blame a tasteless advertising executive who wanted to promote a show without regard for context before I'd think that CBS has a division of the KKK. But intentional or not...it was a hideously inappropriate gaffe.

Grammys: For the record

Having reached the stage at which very few albums, however best-selling and/or critically acclaimed, are for me, I have, as they say, very few dogs in this fight.

Looking at the leading contenders...

Justin Timberlake is, at best, overrated. John Mayer seems to have a good sense of humor about himself and more power to him, but his music remains for people who thought Hootie & the Blowfish had just too much substance.

I still know nothing about Carrie Underwood, beyond having observed that she is much like a dead ringer for Mary Stuart Masterson of Benny & Joon fame.

I don't dislike most of the nominees, they just don't mean very much to me. With the exception of the nearly-perfect Dixie Chicks, of course. I will, however, be hoping that Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" wins a couple of its categories. Is it me or is that whole thing nothing but hooks?

And of course I'm psyched for the Police reunion. The last time they performed together was in 2003 when they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I watched that performance from smack dab in the middle of the intolerable Tennessee.

I remember thinking that unlike some reunited bands who seem to strain trying to remember what they used to do, the Police could have gone back on tour the next day. It took four more years, but...

(As an aside: I read Sting's book, Broken Music recently. It's all right but Andy Summers' One Train Later memoir is actually much better. Surprisingly, because although I knew he was one of the best guitarists around, I never put too much stock in his being able to put words together.

Those of you who wonder why are directed to the childish doggerel monologue in "Be My Girl-Sally" and the unlistenable "Mother." He got better.)

Random Flickr-blogging 1610

No silly little captions this week, just one picture I like; one Words & Image.



Autumn in New Hampshire

Source

"And he thought he heard the echo of a penny whistle band
And the laughter from a distant caravan
And the brightly painted line of circus wagons in the sand
Fading through the door into summer"

--The Monkees, "The Door Into Summer"

Source

Jennifer Connelly's husband is sexually insecure.

Probably about the size of his penis.

The man who played murderous albino monk Silas in "The Da Vinci Code" brought a bit of his character to an exclusive Village restaurant when he lost his cool and roughed up a man whom he thought was hitting on his wife, superstar Jennifer Connelly, witnesses told The Post.

[Paul] Bettany - who was about 10 feet from Connelly, his Academy Award-winning co-star in "A Beautiful Mind" - heard what was going on and "completely lost his temper" with the man who approached her, the witnesses said.

"He grabbed the guy, shook him up and threw him against the wall," said a witness. "It happened pretty quick, actually."

Bettany screamed, "Stop trying to f - - - my wife" at the man as Connelly stood by shouting at her husband, one witness said.

"She screamed his name like 15 times," said one witness.

Guaranteed to raise a smile.

From The New Yorker: Seventy-Two Virgins, by Steve Martin.

The fortune-cookie industry has lost its poetry

Actual fortune found in my nephew's cookie today at his granma's birthday party:

"You are faithful in the execution of any public trust."

I knew there was a reason I loved Toby, part II

From the Independent (UK) Online, here's a short profile of the great Richard Schiff, formerly of The West Wing, where he played Toby. Schiff feels, and I'm inclined to agree, that the first season of that series was the best, though it had a lot to offer all through the first four years.

(As mentioned previously, I stopped watching the series regularly after Sorkin & Schlamme left, so I can't speak to what happened after that)

"Back then, it was all about collaborative problem-solving," he says. "We were ahead of the game, and working 15, 16 hours a day, five days a week going deep into Saturday morning on this fortified Hollywood studio lot. Whenever there was a problem, you could say to Aaron or Tommy [Schlamme, the show's producer] if you were unhappy, and that problem would spark nine new ideas... Suddenly, you'd have an amazing script. The first year was always my favourite - there was a purity then - but I always felt that even our worst show had value."

As a schoolboy, Schiff, an early attendee at Black Panther meetings ("I stood out a little"), protested in Washington DC in the late 1960s, before becoming disillusioned with activist politics by "the constant in-fighting". When he returned to the White House as a member of The West Wing, it was, he says, "the first time I had seen DC without tear-gas". On one of those visits, Schiff remembers a strange moment when, in the first days of the Iraq war, he met President Bush's director of communications, Dan Bartlett, in the lobby of Washington's Ritz-Carlton hotel.

"I asked him, 'What do you think of your boss as a human being?'" recalls Schiff. "He had to think about that one. Then he listed about 15 really solid qualities about Bush - he's loyal, smart, a good friend, devoted to his job. "And then he said: 'I've been with him for 13 years, and I can honestly say that in that time, he has not changed one iota.'

"I thought, 'This is a man who was a drug addict, an alcoholic. Then he was in the National Guard, started an oil business at which he was a miserable failure. Then he owns a baseball team who never come in anywhere but last. Then he runs for President and wins, experiences the greatest attack on our country ever, and starts a war in response. You're telling me he hasn't changed in 13 years?' It was the scariest thing I had ever heard. It was, to me, the definition of insane."

I remember during the last Democratic convention watching one of the speeches (probably Kerry's) and wondering idly to myself what presidential speechwriter Toby would think of it. Literally at that moment, a TV director searching for famous faces in the crowd cut to a picture of Schiff watching.

Freaky.

The "fabulous" Ms. Smith

Sherman's found a few kind words to say about her, which should not be forgotten considering they're probably the only ones anybody will ever say. With the possible exception of Larry King, who inexplicably declared that she had "class."

As Mark Gibson says, "even if you loved the woman and were a fan, you could not possibly use that word to describe her." But here's Sherman on why what happened to her (even before her death) is at least a slightly bigger shame than you might think:

To someone with an avid interest in both size acceptance and pop culture, the early modeling career of Anna Nicole was somewhat bracing. In a world that idealized Kate Moss waifishness, she stood for a different body type.

A reconsidered Dick

Here's a tribute to Dick Cavett, written by critic and poet Clive James. As kind of a follow-up to my post last month about how most talk show hosts today haven't got the sense (or security) to just sit, listen, and let a guest talk. Sample:

Before the American host sits down with his first guest, he must first be a ­stand-­up comedian: a joke teller. Cavett, having started as a writer, understood that condition well. But in his career on camera he was always more interested in the stuff that came after the monologue: the conversation with the guest. In this, he was different from Carson and anyone else who has followed in Carson's tradition, right up to the present day. Even Carson could be spontaneously funny if the guest (or his groveling feed man, Ed McMahon) opened an opportunity—the clumsier the guest, the more opportunities there were—but it was strictly counterpunching. Carson's successor on The Tonight Show, Jay Leno, does without the stooge but works the same way: The core of his technique is stand-­up joke-telling, and he keeps in shape by taking cabaret dates all over America. (When I was his guest in Los Angeles, he fired off jokes one after the other. I did my best to come back at him, but it wasn't a conversation: more like ­mouth-­to-­mouth assassination.) Of the star hosts currently operating, David Letterman comes closest to Cavett's ­easy-­seeming urbanity, but Letterman, for all his quickness of reflex, takes a lot of time to tell a story—with much eye-­popping and many an audience-­milking "Whoo!" and "Uh-huh!" Conan O'Brien, when he was starting out, gave you the best idea of what Cavett's unemphatic poise used to be like; but, as he completes his climb to stardom, he allows himself an ­ever-­increasing ration of havin'-fun hollerin'. It's an imperative of the business, and Cavett defied it at his peril.

Okay, about Anna Nicole Smith being dead

Here's the story.

You don't want to know what I think.

Not that my opinion matters, and I gather it's a minority one, but:

Sorry, John Edwards is still a jackass. The fact that he spent even a day on a no-brainer like this lessens him in my eyes.

And that his statement panders so to anyone who thinks people like Bill Donahue and Michelle Malkin have any right to talk about offensive language. To make matters worse, he's cut off-metaphorically-Amanda Marcotte and Melissa (Shakespeare's Sister) McEwen's "balls" as well.

I now know that any blogging they do for his campaign will be vetted, probably multiple times by multiple people. And the chances of their individual voices coming through are as likely as the chances of a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

I have any number of candidates to choose from if I want bloodless, colorless language in service of weasely, spineless politicians whose opinions are at the service of the pollsters. I don't even have to leave the democratic party.

And especially almost a year before New Hampshire, I see no need to put up with it for even a moment. I'm outta here.

Stephen Colbert is a very smart man

"If you like Battlestar Galactica, you're probably a huge nerd."

--Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, February 7th, 2007.

Well, isn't that just a fine how-do-you do.

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 40%

Greed: 20%

Pride: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Sloth: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You'll die of a yet to be discovered STD.

How Sinful Are You?

John Edwards is a jackass

Believe me, I don't like saying that. There have been times in the not-too-distant past when I've thought an Edwards campaign might be the only one I might actually have been interested in working on.

But when you bend to pressure from the likes of "William "if 15-year-old boys are molested, it's their own damn fault" Donohue of the Catholic League and the cringeworthy Michelle Malkin, you put the ears on yourself.

That's just the way it is, and I'm looking for people who do more than talk a good game.

Further bulletins when they happen.

It can be worthwhile having a writer for your father

From a biography of screenwriter Robert Bolt-he wrote Lawrence of Arabia, A Man for All Seasons (and the play on which it was based), Doctor Zhivago, and Ryan's Daughter. This is a letter he wrote to his daughter when she was 20 and had become a bit of a recluse.

Comments in [brackets and italics] for clarification.

I have been thinking of you and wondering what the future holds for you. I can't control the future but I do bear a certain responsibility for the past. Tom [Bolt's son] said, quite passionately, words to the effect that 'Don't withdraw your love from me.' I was brought to a halt because I had no idea that I was in danger of giving that impression. Matters were soon made up with Tom but then I began to realize how much pain I must have given you all those years back. Unbearable pain, I think. I slipped out of the door when you weren't looking. [Bolt had left her mother for another woman] I don't know what else I could have done, but I think I know what else a more courageous and quick witted person would have done. Forgive me. I must have given you the impression that pain comes from man, and even from such other circumstances as involve women, so that the only person you can hold on to must be yourself. You are a person that takes everything to their OWN heart, and you keep it there. If I am right, you carry around inside yourself a burden of consciousness of the world's pain. And in your heart you carry around a principal of unworthiness, which takes I think the form of actual physical pain. If I am wrong throw this letter in the waste basket. If I am one third right, think for a minute about it. Nobody has the right to shoulder so much pain.

More proof that the producers of "24" know just as much about side-splittin' comedy as they do about endorsing a president

Remember that show they're doing which is supposed to be a conservative counter-balance to The Daily Show? Well, guess who's guesting on it?

Is it me, or is anything Paris Hilton says not something you want to look too worried about?

GLAAD has demanded Paris Hilton explain and apologize for use of N-word and F-word in "Paris Exposed" video: "The video, which appears to have been taken by an amateur videographer at a private party, shows Hilton referring to someone using the 'F-word' and referring to herself and her sister, Nicky (who also calls a man the 'F-word' in the video), by saying, 'We're like two [N-word]s.' In one stream of insults, Paris Hilton says,'[Expletive deleted] hoodlum, broke poor bitch from, like, Compton.'"

Said GLAAD's Neil Giuliano: "When Paris Hilton utters these words into a camera, it creates a permanent record that -- regardless of when it occurred and because it has been made public -- she must bear responsibility for. These are not frivolous words, and to use them as if they are gives tacit sanction to the racism and homophobia they engender...

GLAAD's streak for picking the most bizarre targets imaginable continues. No, they're not frivolous words, but Hilton is the very textbook definition of a frivolous person; nothing she says should be given any importance or taken seriously in any way.

Hell, the fact that she said those words should set back the forces of racism and homophobia another 10 years.

If he feels this way, what the hell chance have I got?

I was reminded by Sherman's review of the latest Lindsey Buckingham solo album how good I'd thought his performance on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson was last Nov. I checked YouTube for it right afterward but it wasn't up yet. Today, however, luck was with me.

The song is called "Not Too Late." Or as I think of it, "Lindsey reads my mind, sees the future, and tells the truth."

Still holding out for that still nonexistent cool one-disc compilation of his work.

Speaking of Texas women

Author, musician and former candidate for governor of Texas Kinky Friedman speaks of Molly Ivins. He begins:

A true maverick died in Texas last week, and they don't make 'em extra.

There'll always be plenty of George Bushes and John Kerrys to go around; the Crips and the Bloods will trot them out every four years whether we like it or not. But a voice in the wilderness, like the still, small voice within, is a song to be savored while we have it, whether we're listening or not, and when we have lost it, we should mourn for ourselves. Such a voice was that of Molly Ivins.

I met her on the gangplank of Noah's ark. I did not agree with her on a lot of things. Like Sinatra, I've gotten more conservative as I've gotten older. But not Molly. With the awkward grace of a child of our times, she clung to her ideals and notions and hopes, riding against the wind in a state as red as the blood of a dying cowboy. The word I'm looking for is "righteous." Righteous without being self-righteous.

Read the whole thing.

For the record, this blog contains 49 posts in which I use the word "fuck" or some variant.

Sometimes mulitiple times in one. This makes 50. My old blog contained only 10. I guess I can say there's a lot more fuck-ing going on around here. Oh, here's why I mention it:

You may have seen the non-controversy over John Edwards' hiring of talented blogger Amanda Marcotte of Pandagon fame. Or maybe not.

The basic story is that uber-moronic Right-tards such as Michelle Malkin, whose IQ has been in an internment camp for the better part of her life, thinks it's really bad that Amanda said words like "fuck" on her blog.

Oh no, what shall we tell the children?

-by Cliff Schecter, who goes on to point out that anyone who supports Bush & Cheney is in no position to chide others for their language. And further on the subject of rightwingers appreciation of women...

From the files of the Grammar Police:

Rightwing bloggers are mounting a full-bore campaign to embarrass John Edwards for hiring rad-fem blogger Amanda Marcotte to lead his presidential campaign blog. Most of these bloggers are calling her ugly (as in, not good lookin').

This is really stupid. First of all, Amanda Marcotte is very good looking and attractive-but (much) more importantly, I've long thought she was one of the most brilliantly readable bloggers around. If she broke out "The F Word" a time and again, well, she's from Texas, for God's sake. Her salty tongue is one of the things I like about her.

Edwards' hiring of her shows he has a good eye for talent. End of story.

A few quick words about tonight's "24" and "Studio 60"

24: Or, "and you thought the Palmer family was cursed."

It'll never happen because it goes against all 24 logic, but at the end of this season, can we please take up a collection to send Jack Bauer on vacation? I'd say he needs a trip to Disneyland but if he went to Disneyland he'd be stalked by a sniper.

About the identity of "the engineer:" Called it!

Studio 60: Sigh. I'm gonna say it: This show is just such a train wreck. There have been 14 episodes so far and not one of them has been the perfect gem that episodes of West Wing like "Shadow of Two Gunmen" were.

What's so maddeningly frustrating is that when it's good, I love it so much, but when it's bad it makes me want to avert my eyes from the screen. Unfortunately, both keep happening in the same episode.

Tonight, for example, I was enjoying most of the relationship drama, even though writing romantic relationships is apparently not in Sorkin's comfort zone. Yes, American President notwithstanding. See, that was a movie, which means it got to end.

In his previous series, West Wing & Sports Night, Sorkin showed himself to be a lot better at writing crackling romantic banter and sexual tension than sustained relationships. Though I'll grant there were exceptions, like Jed & Abby Bartlet.

With tonights episode of Studio 60 juggling three such relationships in varying stages of just blooming or disintegrating, he's running at the wall full speed. But I care about Matt & Harriet, and I care about Danny & Jordan. I don't care so much about Tom & Lucy, but wha' the hell.

That's part of tonight's episode that I enjoyed. And then there was the stupid extended plot about a snake hiding under the stage and a series of animals being sent down unsuccesfully after it. The end result being that the stage has to be torn up and rebuilt.

Heh. You know, if you were of a metaphorical frame of mind, you might think Sorkin knows full well that there's something rotten in the Strip of Sunset. Writing rules (to quote Simon in another storyline from tonight that I liked). Sorkin's too good not to know, in his heart of hearts, that he hasn't always been writing as well as he can.

He needs to...rip things up and rebuild. Given the show's ratings he has to know that a second season is far from a mortal lock. But maybe if he can rally... It's a long shot, to be sure. You might even call it...a Hail Mary pass.

Which, of course, is something that also got mentioned in tonight's episode. If you were of a metaphorical frame of mind, you might think he was trying to tell us something. I'll still be there to the end.

But it's time for me to admit that, as a whole, the series is just not working. Even though there are still parts of it that I like, even love, very much.

I'm being stalked by God, continued

Things I've Found In Books:

Just now, between pages 74 and 75 of the Seattle Public Library's copy of Peter O'Toole, A Biography by Nicholas Wapshott: One of those religious tracts on The Ten Commandments. I know a song cue when I see one.



Favorite cheesy-ass Depeche Mode rip off ever. BTW, those of you who remember a little animated movie called The Secret Of NIMH may want to watch this version instead.

TV Talk

One: NBC is pulling "Studio 60" from their schedule to make way for a new program they want to give the benefit of the "Heroes" lead-in. This does not bode well. In a funny-to-tears coincidence, "30 Rock," the other NBC series about life backstage at a "Saturday Night Live"-like show with a numbered title, is getting a similar treatment.

But "30 Rock" already has a promised return-by date in April, "Studio 60" has none. There's nothing like having friends in high places. I'm reminded of the two questions the brilliant trailblazer writer Michael O'Donoghue once said he wanted to see his sometime boss asked in a television interview.

Question One: "How much are you getting paid, Lorne?"

Question Two: "Even so, is it worth dragging your dick in the mud every Saturday Night?"

I am increasingly convinced that what "Studio 60" really needs is to be taken off network TV and picked up by Showtime or other cable channel. Not only would this make its ratings less disappointing (seven million viewers a week is "24" by cable standards), it would allow them greater flexibility with both time and langauge.

Watching "Studio 60," for the first time watching a Sorkin series I'm sometimes acutely aware that I'm watching filler. Not having to expand ideas to fill 60 minutes with commercials might help.

It's also started to seem increasingly ridiculous when the characters don't swear. At least on "The West Wing" you could buy that they kept their tongues out of deference to the office and that their jobs imposed at least a bit of decorum.

But you're telling me that network TV producers and sketch comedy players don't salt-and-a-deadly-peppa their speech now and again?

Two: Tomorrow's "Boston Legal" will contain a storyline in which a man sues one of those "de-gayification centers" for not curing him. Should be good fun.

Three: What's wrong with this picture? British comedian, writer, and actor Stephen Fry is going to be guesting in a Fox program I watch about a sexy doctor who solves mysteries this week.

That program is not "House," starring Fry's longtime colleague and good friend Hugh Laurie, but "Bones."

Go figure.

Oh, man

Bush is very unpopular. Bush is very, very, very, very, very unpopular. Check this out.

On Tuesday, President Bush popped in for a surprise visit to the Sterling Family Restaurant, a homey diner in Peoria, Ill. It’s a scene that has been played out many times before by this White House and others: a president mingling among regular Americans, who, no matter what they might think of his policies, are usually humbled and shocked to see the leader of the free world standing 10 feet in front of them.

But on Tuesday, the surprise was on Bush. In town to deliver remarks on the economy, the president walked into the diner, where he was greeted with what can only be described as a sedate reception. No one rushed to shake his hand. There were no audible gasps or yelps of excitement that usually accompany visits like this. Last summer, a woman nearly fainted when Bush made an unscheduled visit for some donut holes at the legendary Lou Mitchell’s Restaurant in Chicago. In Peoria this week, many patrons found their pancakes more interesting. Except for the click of news cameras and the clang of a dish from the kitchen, the quiet was deafening.

In Peoria, for chrissakes, a city famous as the representative of the average American city (runner up: Columbus, Ohio). Giving birth to the expression that nervous network and movie studio executives are said to employ whenever the creative types try to "push the envelope:"

"But will it play in Peoria?"

George W. Bush is not playing in Peoria.

It's one thing to see his 28% approval rating and know that his presidency is broken. But this really says it. There was dead silence for the President of the United States. This may not be as satisfying as his impeachment and removal from office would be, but it may be as close as I'm going to get.

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Although "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" has been cancelled, the boys are going out with a bang. Ned, here, never even knew what hit him. "All I know is I was rockin' out to Van Halen when suddenly..."

Credit.

Or maybe, just maybe, Americans know the difference between a TV show and reality

Media Matters has the latest on how conservatives are trying to promote 24 for their own interests. My favorite examples:

...conservative talk radio host Laura Ingraham told host Bill O'Reilly: "The average American out there loves the show 24. OK? They love Jack Bauer. They love 24. In my mind that's close to a national referendum that it's OK to use tough tactics against high-level Al Qaeda operatives as we're going to get."

See the above headline. Also, does anyone ever wonder how conservatives rationalize theories like this with Bush's 28% approval rating? Speaking of which:

From the September 7, 2006, edition of CNN Headline News' Glenn Beck:

BECK: The president said these "alternative procedures" and secret prisons have saved American lives. He said they have saved -- or stopped plots designed to occur inside the U.S. Things like downing of airplanes, bombing office buildings, and potential biological attacks. Things we've never heard about.

Oh, well, if the president said it, that settles it. After all...what has the president ever done to arouse suspicion?

Of course, this stuff never used to bother me as much until I learned that 24's co-creator actually means the show to be a rationalization for torture...

I always suspected as much.

(As always, click on the picture above to make it get bigger)

Good golly, Miss Molly (UPDATED with additions)

Update: The Rude Pundit also has an insightful tribute. Excerpt:

She was goddamned smart, so smart she didn't have to flaunt it. So smart that she could use the down to earth side to say what she meant so all of us could understand it. She didn't suffer bullies. She loved Texas like a parent loves her child even after that child has gone on a three-state killing spree. She was unfailingly polite. And she could eviscerate anyone who was failing all of us with just an image or two. Those guttings will be desperately missed. That sense and celebration of the decency of the average American will be missed even more.

Original post: As you've probably heard by now, Molly Ivins passed away. There's a good tribute by her editor here. Did I say good? I meant absolutely teriffic. One of those "too much good stuff to excerpt" pieces. Read it, read it.

As for me, I can't add too much to what I said about her here a few days ago when we first learned she was sick again. But perhaps I can expand upon it. I wasn't kidding when I said she's a hero of mine.

If you search this blog for Molly Ivins, you'll find I've referenced and/or quoted her 10 times since it started in 2005. By an odd coincidence, I find the exact same number on my old blog, The Sound of the Crowd.

I won't repeat the quote here since I've used it so often, but I think if there's any justice, her line about (Bill) Clinton's weaknesses will ring through the ages.

I also wasn't kidding when I said I want to marry a girl just like her. It's obvious from reading this blog that I appreciate beautiful women like Anne Hathaway, Amber Benson, the gals from Friends, and Kirsty MacColl (bless her).

But what I'd like to think is at least as obvious, but probably isn't as much at first glance, is how much I appreciate articulate, accomplished, and/or funny women. Women like Amy Sherman-Palladino, Kirsty (again!) The Dixie Chicks, Linda Ellerbee, Amanda Marcotte...and Molly Ivins.

The world just lost a little bit of its flavor.

It's up to us to put some back.

ETA: Wings For Wheels' Dave Lifton sent along a link to a page of great rememberances of her on NPR, in the comments.

I've already waited too long and all my hope is gone

So I rented the DVD of The Illusionist yesterday. In a few words: Good, reminded me of the radio dramas of old in that it is a deceptively simple story, well told, that does not outstay its welcome and goes remarkably quickly.

But like many new DVDs these days, it comes rigged so that the first thing that comes up when you put your disc in is a trailer for another film. Normally, I cut through these by pushing the "menu" button. This is a good move. Unfortunately, early this morning before watching the film again with the directors commentary, on some foolish whim I let the the trailer play.

And this is what I saw. It's for a movie called Gray Matters, with Heather Graham and Tom Cavanagh as a sister and brother who are trying to help each other find love. Cavanagh finds and falls in love with a woman played by Bridget Moynahan, and asks her to marry him.

Graham finds herself opposed to the wedding for reasons she can't quite put her finger on. But she ends up spending a lot of time with the bride-to-be, and then during a late night conversation...they kiss. Turns out, the movie is about Graham realizing she's gay and in love with her brother's fiancee/wife.

That sound you heard was my mind screaming inside, and you may feel free to picture the word balloon above my head with the words written in very small letters:

oh
no

A romantic comedy. A not just sibling-like friendship, a la my characters, but actual siblings. A love triangle. Lesbians. The song above just popped into my head.

God, I hate poets

Via TMZ:

Lesbian actress Tammy Lynn Michaels, partner of rocker Melissa Etheridge, is the first (and only) voice from Tinseltown's gay community to come out and defend the "Grey's Anatomy" pariah. In her blog, Hollywood Farm Girl, former "Popular" star Michaels writes, in free-form quasi-poetical Rosie-verse, that the Washington she knows -- the one whose kids play with her and Etheridge's kids -- "is not that man," i.e., the hot-tempered Isaiah currently in treatment for anger management.

Now, I think it's interesting context to know that this guy is friends with lesbians and his kids play with their kids. But she makes the point in such a frightfully precious way that it's hard for me to care.

Says Michaels,

he is not a bad man ...
i forgive his words,
because truth be told
i do not believe
the word
faggot
lives in his heart

Also, between this, Jodie Foster's standing up for Mel Gibson's inexcusable behavior, and of course, my Bête noire, "The L Word," I was tempted to a bold, sweeping statement. To wit: Hollywood lesbians are stupid.

Fortunately, sense and sanity prevailed, and I know that can't be true. In some cases, though, I just don't know where their priorities are at.

Stay safe, Molly

Molly Ivins, a much-quoted hero of mine and a girl just like whom I want to marry, has been hospitalized with a recurrence of cancer. I just wanted to add my voice to those who are keeping her in their prayers or thoughts, as their types dictate.

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Douglas Adams was right!

Credit.

The things you find via Sitemeter

My post about the unclear response to my recommendation of the CNN program about British Muslims was emailed by at least one person with a Turner.com email address. Turner, as in Ted, the founder of CNN, I'm guessing.

I'd like to think it was Christianne Amanpour herself, but that's probably just glory-seeking.

Random Flickr-blogging 5019

There's no connection between these photos, and you'd be a fool and a Communist to make one.


Source


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Source


Source


Source


Source

That was a piece of shit.

As most of you know, I am a fan of Amber Benson, the actress who played Tara on Buffy. Unfortunately, being a fan of Amber Benson carries with it certain penalties. Much as my interest in Anne Hathaway has led me to sit through some pretty terrible films (three words: Princess Diaries 2), just for the chance to look upon her beautiful visage.

Case in point: The TV movie Gryphon, premiering this month on the Sci-Fi channel, in which Benson stars.

Even simple editoral matchup seemed to be beyond this movie. In one scene, I swear the position of Amber's hair changes about three times depending on which setup they're using.

And a few words about costuming. I can accept that Amber's character invented the off-the-shoulder tunic look centuries before the filming of Flashdance. I can accept that because I like Amber's shoulders and anything that exposes them to camera is ok by me.

However, there were also a couple of alleged "witches," in this film who dressed much like porno actresses. How much like porno actresses? Let me put it this way. I had no idea fake red leather had been invented in the middle ages. To say nothing of the fishnets.

Re acting, okay, again, I admit I'm biased, but Amber did seem to be trying harder than most of the rest of the cast. But even she looked like she'd lost her heart for it a couple of times.

I can't blame her. There's only so much you can do with a script that asks you to deliver lines like "Let us return them to the hell from whence they came!" with a straight face.

However, all is not lost. Should you wish to watch this movie, I have come up with a way to make it bearable. I give you: The Gryphon drinking game.

It works like this. Every time they rip-off The Lord of the Rings, you take a sip.

Every time a character delivers a line that is nothing but exposition, you take a shot. You know, the kind of dialogue that makes you think the characters are going to turn to camera and say "Everybody got that?"

Every time the exposition is something they've already established more than three times (did we mention the prince has "the sight?") you take a big swig.

Every time a character speaks to another and identifies his-or-her relationship to them in the dialogue, like this-

"The hordes are coming, father!"
"Go now, daughter, and be swift!'
"Look, my leige!"
"I will have my vengence on you, sorceror!"
"Do not worry, my friend."

--and so on, you chug.

You should start to see the room spinning within 10 minutes.

Enjoy!

Ain't we a wonderful species

So I sign on to Earthlink a few minutes ago, and on the "Welcome" screen I'm greeted with this headline: Gray Wolves To Leave Endangered List. Score! I think. I like wolves, and I took this to mean that enough restoration of the species had been done by committed conservationists we could now all take a breath. Secure in the knowledge that there would be chances to see them for years to come.

Wrongo.

Wolves in the northern Rockies will be removed from the endangered species list within the next year, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service said Friday, a move that would open the population up to trophy hunting.

Emphasis mine. Get it? The wolves are leaving the endangered list so to make it okay for Dick Cheney-types to kill them again. I had to read it three, four times to make sure I had it. And even then...well, here's another place where my liberal tendency to try to see things from another's POV gets me in trouble, and even shows up my naiveté.

See, I like wolves. But I'm not so moony about them that I can't imagine their being a threat to livestock or even, in extremly rare occasions, human life. So I wondered: Is there some surplus of wolf population, or have they become a threat to anyone's livelyhood or even life?

No, no there is not, and no they have not. This really is just about the fact that some people think it makes them more of a man to hunt animals for sport.

People like (I am not making this nickname up) Idaho Gov. C.L. ‘‘Butch’’ Otter.

["Butch"] told The Associated Press that he wants hunters to kill about 550 gray wolves. That would leave about 100 wolves, or 10 packs, according to a population estimate by state wildlife officials.

I think the nickname says it all.

Otter complained that wolves are rapidly killing elk and other animals essential to Idaho’s multimillion-dollar hunting industry.

Again, Emphasis mine.

Suzanne Stone, a spokeswoman for the advocacy group Defenders of Wildlife in Boise, said Otter’s proposal would return wolves to the verge of eradication.

‘‘Essentially he has confirmed our worst fears for the state of Idaho: That this would be a political rather than a biological management of the wolf population,’’ Stone said. ‘‘There’s no economic or ecological reason for maintaining such low numbers. It’s simple persecution.’’

Don't mess with my Gray Wolves, man...

A very silly joke about something that isn't very silly at all

The Iraqis hate Paul Weller. And/or the Justified Ancients Of MuMu.

$10, 000 to the first reader who can understand a word of this*

Good afternoon. A few days ago, I suggested you watch a CNN program with Christianne Amanpour investigating British Muslims both extremist and moderate. This attracted the attention of a not-at-all-cowardly mystery poster named "purpleXed" who has no blog but does have a Blogger account. Presumably for the purpose of leaving comments on blogs like this one.

Well, being a liberal, I'm hung up on fairness. I actually try to respect all points of view and be tolerant. So I was looking forward to enaging this guy/gal in a civilized debate, seeing what they had to say, then making my reply.

But I'll be damned if I can understand a ##$@&&%$#$ word of this, enough to get hold of for a reply. Excerpt:

It is the media that retains the rants on the oxygen mask of publicity when it accords them undeserved and unjustifiable attention on prime time without which the rantagogues are more weak than a fish without water.

Any suggestions for what I should say to this apparently deeply involved person on an issue so precious to them that they took time out of their busy day? Speaking out like this should be encouraged and rewarded, it shows they're paying attention.

I just wish I was.













*Payable at the exact instant I have $10, 000 to give away, of course.

Reload 2

Being the reposting of linked videos I've posted that no longer work; just 'cos I like them. This is Eurythmics - Shame: IMO, the best video the two ever made (I believe Dave was the director).

As for the song, it's a beautiful rebuke to the idea of "the glamourous life." Now, normally I get prickly about the notion that it's always multi-billionaire rock stars like Sting and John Lennon who are telling us to "live here and be happy with less" or "Imagine no possessions."

So why do Dave and Annie get away with saying

Shame

In the dancehalls and the cinema
On the TV and the media

-for promoting a lifestyle which, they say, "don't exist?" Well, maybe it's because they don't leave the bromides and bands upon which they were raised out of their finger-pointing.

Shame
And they said all need is love...
With the Beatles and the Rolling Stones

This probably explains why the job at the video store didn't work out

Your Movie Buff Quotient: 48%

You are well on your way to becoming a movie buff. You've seen many of the great films, and you have even probably developed an expertise in a few genres.

Are You a Movie Buff?

Well, that oughta do it

The things Friends will do for Friends. Via The Jennifer Aniston Center (what? I read it for the articles):

You already know that when Jennifer Aniston guests on the March 27 season finale of Courteney Cox's FX drama Dirt, she'll be playing her bosom buddy's archenemy, a rival tabloid editor. But what I've learned — muahaha, exclusively! — is that Aniston's character is a lesbian. What's more, she won't just mouth off to Cox's tightly wound counterpart, she's going to share a liplock with her.

On a semi-related, if meaningless note, it occured to me recently that it's at least mildly interesting how many of the ex-Friends cast have chosen "backstage in Hollywood" projects as their follow-ups. Cox with Dirt, Lisa Kudrow with The Comeback, Matthew Perry Studio 60. You could even count Joey.

I guess you don't spend as much time as hot as they were without forming a few opinions about the kitchen staff...

Just the news you want to get before you deliver the State of the Union

"Bush’s overall approval rating has fallen to just 28 percent, a new low, while more than twice as many (64 percent) disapprove of the way he's handling his job."

I'm going to repeat a prediction: It is by no means certain that the Bush administration will make it to 2008 intact.

A few quick words about last night's "24."

Spoilers ahoy.

Okay. I fully expect that this mystery tech wiz that the mercenary who's now driving around L.A. with Beth Huffstodt's would-be lesbian lover needs to find will turn out to be Chloe. Or, given her little "why do people I know keep dying?" whimper, Morris. That's fine.

Jack and his brother's wife having a history, still, a-okay. Jack's brother turning out to be bald-headed mystery man who was pulling all the strings last season, that's okay too.

But if that kid of his turns out to be Jack's previously unknown son...I'm throwing my TV set away.

This seems like a good place to put a terrific David Mamet comment:

"If we watch any television drama long enough... we will see the original dramatic thrust give way to domestic squabbles."

Why I am Pro-Choice

Kirsty MacColl as "Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart."

(Hat tip-or perhaps I mean a jaunty snap of the panties-to Blue Gal.)

Because being Pro-Choice leads to Communism, and Communism is sexy.

Okay, the "Grey's Anatomy fight" thing

I don't know if you guys have been following this, but a few months ago there was a big fight on the set of Grey's Anatomy when one of the cast called another, a gay man, a faggot. After the flames from this had died down, the same actor opened his big, apparently homophobic idiot mouth again at the Golden Globes and repeated the slur. Even more intelligently, he did it while denying he'd ever said that about the other actor, who replied by going on the Ellen DeGeneres show and saying yes, yes he did.

USA Today has a good article about the state of things, with quotes from a couple of other actors and musicans. Including Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip's Sarah Paulson, who is beautiful, talented, and let's face it, my current lesbian crush. Must be the Keitha in me.

Anatomy's Patrick Dempsey, who was involved in the October confrontation, presented the TV comedy award to NBC's The Office but otherwise kept a low profile, confining himself to the backstage green room. But Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip's Sarah Paulson had no problem speaking out: "If someone said that about me and outed me that way, it would be really hard. I appreciate that (Grey's co-star) Katherine Heigl stood up for T.R. because it's our job to protect each other."

Some are calling for the actor, Isaiah Washington's, dismissal. I've been of two minds about it. On the one hand, I dislike bigmouthed homophobic idiots and I like seeing them get a cold hard smack of reality right back in the face.

But on the other, I dislike the idea that a man could be fired from a job that he supposedly does well because he expressed an opinion. Albeit one with which his castmates and producers (and me) disagree. (Granted, the ability to get along with your castmates and producers might be considered just as big a part of his job as good acting.)

My problem is, if I smugly say that this is okay, what do I say if Fox decides to fire Hugh Laurie from House because he won't make a pro-Bush speech in character? Niether of those things would ever happen, I don't think, I'm just looking for an analogy.

Fortunately, I found a solution to this moral dilemma, and in the most unlikely of places. I've rarely thought I'd ever find myself agreeing with John Mayer about anything (he liked the second season of Huff, for crying out loud), but he's got a great idea:

Other celebs have been chiming in, too: Neil Patrick Harris of CBS' How I Met Your Mother told People.com, "I was just sort of stunned that anyone would want to rehash any of that again." And singer John Mayer, on his blog, says Washington's character should have to come out as gay on Grey's. "What better way for an actor to get to the roots of his discrimination than by portraying the very subject of his own ire for the remainder of his contract?"

That's brilliant.

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What every young man hopes to find under the tree...(well, at least 90% of them)

Credit.

Here we go again.

Another year of "24," another round of Muslims upset over their portrayal as terrorists:

"The overwhelming impression you get is fear and hatred for Muslims," said Rabiah Ahmed, a spokeswoman for the Washington-based Council on American-Islamic Relations. She said Thursday she was distressed by this season's premiere. "After watching that show, I was afraid to go to the grocery store because I wasn't sure the person next to me would be able to differentiate between fiction and reality."

In a written statement issued late Wednesday night, the network said it has not singled out any ethnic or religious group for blame in creating its characters.

"24 is a heightened drama about anti-terrorism," the statement read. "After five seasons, the audience clearly understands this, and realizes that any individual, family, or group (ethnic or otherwise) that engages in violence is not meant to be typical.

They go on to list the different ethnic and/or religious groups who have been bad guys on previous seasons of "24." You know I'm not necessarily one to reflexively jump to the defense of the "24" producers, let alone the Fox network, but in this case I think they are correct. They might also have pointed out past storylines that pretty starkly implied the dangers of scapegoating and racial profiling.

Or that the new season already includes at least two positive (...thus far) Middle Eastern and/or Muslim characters. More if we're counting the currently ambiguous Assad, or Ahmed's father who we were told was innocent of his son's bad intentions.

But at the risk of sounding overly self-referential, I think I said my piece on this about as well as I'm going to on my old blog, last time it cropped up. In part:

Well, that kind of "Of course, I'm smart enough to know the difference...it's the rest of you potato eaters..." thing never flies very far with me. I don't buy it when it's about using Spongebob Squarepants to promote gay marriage, and I don't buy it about this.

ETA: CNN is airing as the debut episode of their new series "CNN: SIU" a documentary called "The War Within." Christiane Amanpour investigates Muslims in the U.K., both extremist and moderate.

It's excellent, and there's no stretch of the imagination required to see how it applies to the States. Keeping an eye out for rebroadcasts (there'll be at least one tomorrow, I imagine more) is highly recommended.

What is hip?

To recap: Last June, I posted about the upcoming movie, "Sex and Death 101," which Daniel Waters wrote and is directing.

Ah, Dan Waters. For me, one of the big question marks among writers. I mean...he wrote "Heathers," one of the more perfect movies of the past 15-20 years. He then spent the rest of the '90s writing (or at least having his name attached to) varying degrees of crap (Two words: "Hudson Hawk").

I have not seen his direct-to-video directorial debut, "Happy Campers" but perhaps I should.

Well, now I have, thanks to the Sundance Channel's frequent airings. Here's the premise: The sole adult counselor at a summer camp for boys and girls just entering puberty is struck by lightning. The college-age counselors therefore turn the camp into a pit of sexual anarchy.

Not a bad launching place, I hope you'll agree. Lot of places you could go. Unfortunately, it doesn't work.

The biggest problems, it seems to me, are these:

1. The film tries too hard to be hip-as opposed to "Heathers" which was effortlessly so.
2. It's too smart to be the sex/grossout comedy it sometimes wants to be.
3. But not smart enough to be the incisive critique of young relationships it also wants to be.
4. Not enough of the jokes connect. One or two of those that do connect nicely, though.
5. After intruiging starts for all of them, the characters never really pay off.

It's not without its charms-chiefly an attractive cast that shows they deserve better movies than they usually get (we're talking about the stars of the films "New Best Friend," "The Rage: Carrie 2," "Cherry Falls" and "Crossroads" in the same movie here).

Still, though. On balance, this fucks my hopeful "Daniel Waters is still a good writer, he's just been screwed over by talentless hack directors" theory all to hell.

The stars of "Happy Campers," reading their script and wishing it were better.

(Brief aside: "Cherry Falls" is remarkably similar to "Happy Campers" in that it squanders an idea with a lot of potential for "pushing the envelope" in teen sexuality: Local teens realize a serial killer is preying on the virgins among them; they decide there's only one way to take themselves off his list. Unfortunately, they didn't make much more of it than "Happy Campers" does with its premise.)

Okay, the "Hillary Clinton is-officially-running for president" thing

I don't have too much to say about it. Fortunately, Mark has a few thoughts on the subject, and he's right. I think choosing favorites is meaningless till next year, but if you asked me right now what ticket I'd like to vote for, I'd say Edwards/Obama.

But:

...[I] don't think Obama, Biden, Kucinich and the rest of the announced or presumed contenders have that much more appeal than Ms. Clinton. The shallowness of the Talent Pool is evident when the Democrat who looks the most like presidential material is Al Gore. And some of that will just be a matter of voters wanting to turn back the clock, wipe out the previous eight years and vote for the guy they now think they really wanted in the first place. Gore was right on the Iraq War and it's now becoming near-fact (sadly) that he's right about Global Warming. In politics, if you're right about two important things, you're way ahead of the average. Like, by about two things.

And in your dreams whatever they be

Denny Doherty, of the '60s pop group the Mamas & the Papas, has died.

When I was writing this review of a Mamas & Papas collection a handful of years ago I read a few books by and about the members of the group and I came to the conclusion that Doherty was probably the best of them, as a person.

For all that I've no wish to make some plaster saint of him, he would appear to have been, at core, just a guy who liked to sing. John & Michelle Phillips come off as miserable, fickle people even in their own memoirs and Cass Elliot seems a mostly-beautiful spirit to whom fate decided to be cruel.

In that review, I said,

Boy oh boy, if ever there was a band that was a template for VH1's Behind the Music series, this is it -- and, in fact, they were the subject of a popular episode. Partner changing, unrequited love, dying young, drinking and drugs, early success followed by early burnout.

Doherty had his part in most of that. He had an affair with the wife of his groups chief songwriter (and his best friend) while the other woman in the group was in love with him. And as for drinking and drugs...it was L.A. in 1966, for god's sake.

Yet somehow: Just a guy who liked to sing. And for a few years there, he did it in as a lovely a way, in as lovely surroundings, as most anybody ever has. He'll be thought of any time anyone listens to "California Dreaming," "Monday Monday"...

PS: To my knowledge, Doherty never wrote a book, though he did contribute to an oral history of the group. Cass, of course, didn't live to write one. But Doherty did put together, perform in and write a show that gave his version of the Mamas & the Papas story. Much if not all of the text is available at his web site and is recommended for the curious.

Congrats to Sherman

...whose blog made it onto Shakespeare's Sister's Friday Blogroll today.

It would be the act of a small, petty man to point out that I myself was listed in September 2005.

Half-wishing I could "Scrub" my mind clean

I was going to say that tonight's "big musical episode" of Scrubs killed that little sub-genre of television dead. Till I remembered that if it could survive the That '70s Show unpleasantness it could survive anything.

Scrubs at least was not as bad as That '70s Show, where the mistake the writer/producers made was not checking to see whether any of their cast could sing. The Scrubs cast can sing well enough, trouble is, most of the songs they were given were crap.

I wasn't expecting brothers Gibb or Lindsey Buckingham-calliber popcraft, or even Trey Parker, but these songs would have been cut out of The Simpsons, Drew Carey, Buffy, or Xena's musical episodes.

Ladies to listen to.

Amanda and Deborah both have entries up commenting on a recent article at American Prospect. The article argued that yet another reason why setting kids on an abstinence-only sex education course doesn't work is, As Amanda writes,

...abstinence-only education is not only damaging to kids’ health and mental well-being, but it’s also not helping the problem of rape, and may be even making it worse.

...teaching that men want sex and women want love but don’t want sex means that young men figure there’s no such thing as an enthusiastic “yes” to sex. If men think all women are reluctant to have sex at all points in time, then that means that they think sex is basically always rape. If you think all sex is rape because women never reallly want sex—as this abstinence-only curricula subtly teaches—then you think that rape is socially acceptable.

Deborah expands on that point.

That’s vitally important, and it’s an essential element of date-rape and of disbelieving rape victims. “No” only means “no” if “yes” means “yes.”

Both entries have too many good paragraphs to excerpt here. Read the whole thing(s).

Oh, lord.

I can't decide if I think this is more offensive, funny, or just fucking stupid. I just got an email in my inbox promoting an all-male heavy rock quartet from Seattle, the city where I live, or at least exist.

The band's name is LESBIAN. Because it's name evokes pure, sexually-charged freedom -- and that's what rock is all about.

But of course it is.

The CD name? Power Hör (get it, get it, huh?). Including a song called "Loadbath."

I also note that they seem to have taken the webpages-

www.lesbianwitch.com & www.myspace.com/lesbianwitch

-which seems wrong, somehow.

I gave a little listen to the clip they have at their MySpace site. It sounds godawful to me. But it's so not my kind of music-I'm a Beatles fan, among other things-you might not want to go by me on that.

I may not be able to watch Bill O'Reilly on The Colbert Report tonight

I mean, I imagine a lot of bloggers are looking forward to seeing Stephen rough him up in his inimitable satirical fashion. And I was too, being as I think O'Reilly's a lying idiot who pisses me off, and it's usually fun to watch such people make asses of themselves. As he almost certainly will.

That was before I read Media Matters latest clip on him.

On the January 15 edition of Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor, host Bill O'Reilly said of Shawn Hornbeck -- who was abducted at the age of 11, held for four years, and recently found in Missouri -- that "there was an element here that this kid liked about this circumstances" and that he "do[esn't] buy" "the Stockholm syndrome thing." O'Reilly also said: "The situation here for this kid looks to me to be a lot more fun than what he had under his old parents.

"I'm not buying this. If you're 11 years old or 12 years old, 13, and you have a strong bond with your family, OK, even if the guy threatens you, this and that, you're riding your bike around, you got friends. The kid didn't go to school. There's all kinds of stuff. If you can get away, you get away. All right? If you're 11."

Abridged version: It's the kids fault. Or, it's his parents fault. Anything but...it's the fault of the person who abducted him. I'm sorry, isn't it supposed to be we Democrats who are more concerned about the rights of the accused than the victims?

So, Bill O'Reilly just moved for me from national embarassment to actual living, active danger. There's nothing funny about thinking a pubescent boy should have been enough of a big, strong man to get away from someone who was holding him captive. And that is O'Reilly's unmistakable implication.

I don't want to laugh at someone who thinks that. I want them jailed and then I want them smacked upside the back of their head a few times.

I'm funny that way.

ETA: Shakespeare's Sister expands on the point.

When some of his viewers criticized O'Reilly for this horseshit, he then said on the following day's broadcast: "I actually hope I'm wrong about Shawn Hornbeck. I hope he did not make a conscious decision to accept his captivity because Devlin made things easy for him. No school, play all day long."

So, apparently, Bill O'Reilly hopes that Devlin terrorized a child so thoroughly that he stayed against his will. What. The. Fuck.

He then continued: "But to just chalk this up to brainwashing and walk away is turning away from the true danger of child molesters and abductors. All American children must be taught survival skills, must be prepared to face crisis situations. That is the lesson of the Shawn Hornbeck story."

The lesson of this story is that American children must be taught survival skills. Uh-huh. Because if an 11-year-old boy has "survival skills," then presumably he can escape with no problem from a 6'4", 300-pound man who's fucking with your head and your body. How fucking stupid is Bill O'Reilly? ...I guess it would be far too much for his puny little brain to engage the thought that adaptability is not only one of humankind's greatest attributes, but also one of our strongest survival strategies—and kids especially manage to adapt to all kinds of grotesquery if they can be convinced their survival depends on it.

"...we can all go on the Internet and find people to say mean things..."

Aaron Sorkin bristles at criticism of Studio 60.

Excerpts:

Citing Los Angeles Times writers Maria Elena Fernandez and Scott Collins, [Sorkin] admitted that he took great issue with some of their stories, along with the piece by Deborah Netburn on Christmas Day that suggested most comedy writers in Hollywood don't take kindly to the show. "She interviewed [a member of the Los Angeles improv group] Employee of the Month, and if you look at their web site, you'll find that most of them are unemployed," he insists. "And we were nominated for a Writer's Guild Award as well.”

"We live in the age of amateurs, and we can all go on the Internet and find people to say mean things about any show," he says. "But everybody's voice ought not to be equal."

I have to admit I take some exception, for pathetically obvious reasons, to his implication that if you are an unemployed writer or a blogger, your opinion means virtually nothing.

I'm suddenly reminded of when James Cameron chose to go after, in print, one of the only critics who didn't think Titantic was a triumph. Here he was, he'd made this big movie that was both staggeringly popular and praised by most of the critics, and he'd won the Academy Award. He just looked like a thin-skinned whiner sniping at a minority opinion.

Similarly, I think Sorkin, if not demeans himself, then certainly shows himself in a less than good light when he stoops to flinging mud at people who don't have his opportunities (or, probably, his talent).

I know at least some (if not most) of his ire is directed not at the unemployed and/or blog writers, but at mainstream reporters who cite them as sources. But my larger point is this: The more my faith that anything will ever happen for me as a writer wavers, the lower my tolerance drops for people like Cameron.

Or, you'll understand how much it bums me to say, Sorkin.

They get to tell their stories to a larger audience than Charles Dickens ever knew, they have financial security and creative independence.

What the fuck do they have to whine about?

Are there no men left...in England?

Shakespeare's Sister has an entry about how most modern TV talk shows are so strictly formatted they don't allow for a genuine character like Peter O'Toole to be shown at their best. She illustrates this with a link to his recent appearance on The Daily Show.

I thought that appearance was reasonably satisfactory-given the constraints of the format. But like SS I'm an O'Toole fan, and I'd be glad to lie at his feet just listening to him telling stories for hours.

She contrasts it with his appearance on the David Letterman show the night before (again, the clip is available) and she's right, he was better and funnier. Because he was allowed more time and in general, she's right, most shows just aren't willing to take that time any more.

I've watched the DVD releases of some of Dick Cavett's old shows recently, and there's just no shows like them any more. Ninety minutes, sometimes with just one guest, or in the case of a Katherine Hepburn, two 90-minute episodes with one guest.

You got something approaching actual conversation, and maybe even got a glimpse of what these "living legends" were like as people. The closest we've had to it recently was Bob Costas' version of Later. His show wasn't as long, but like Cavett's, the atmosphere was relaxed and lent itself to thoughtfulness over zany comedy antics.

By the way, Letterman has always been good for O'Toole-I still remember a story he told about Richard Harris several years ago there. It may surprise you to learn that it involved drinking. Ask me about it sometime.

Saints and sinners, welcome all

Let's face it-if it were up to me, all music would be like this.

Speaking of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip"...

Heads up: This Sunday and Monday afternoon and evening, Bravo is going to be running a marathon of seven episodes from the season so far. Apparently the idea is to give potential newbies a chance at a refresher course before the first new episode after the Christmas/New Year's hiatus. That episode will air Monday night on NBC.

I won't do a hard sell now, I assume most of you reading this who are ever likely to watch the series are already watching the series. But just in case you're not, or like me are curious to see how the show stacks up several episodes at a time...

I'll just say this: Come see something a lot like the life I should be living. Not that I particuarly want to write a live sketch comedy show (I'd probably be fired for being too political, as Matt was).

But still. Something a lot like the life I should be living.

Well it's not such a wicked awesome good time

(This post contains spoilers for the first four hours of the new "24")

So far, I'm not loving the new season. Besides the political train wreck I fear it's turning into, and the inevitable descent into formuliac decadance, it occurs to me that perhaps I have another reason for my shifting allegance.

The producers much-vaunted policy of being willing to kill off their supporting characters has had, for me, a perhaps unintentional backlash: I'm no longer willing to invest myself emotionally in them.

Frankly, in retrospect Tony Almeida was what I think of as a "click" moment. It's the moment when a TV series or movie pushes me just that one step too far and seems to be saying to me, "fuck you." After a click moment, it's hard for me to care.

But there's one exception to this emotional disengagement from the characters that I have at the moment and it's Jack Bauer. My breath wasn't taken away when Curtis got killed; I knew he was toast once I saw that Roger Cross was getting "guest star" billing.

Curtis being killed didn't surprise me, the fact that it was Jack who had to do it did. And that they spent some time showing the toll that all of this is taking on him. That worked for, and interested me, more than the big terrorist victory at the end.

This year, I find my mind wandering when Jack's not on the screen. The office politics at CTU? Seen it! Political macinations with the President? Ditto! I don't care, it's just this year's model-right down to Buchanan and Karen Hayes being positioned as the new Tony and Michelle (Not to me, they're not).

But Jack? Jack, I care about. Jack, I want to see what's going to happen to him.

If there is any suspense left in this series for me it is not how he is eventually going to triumph over the terrorist threat. It's what he's going to have to do, and what that's going to do to him, to do it. I hope they're going to continue to explore that.

I always loved the scene at the end of day three (possibly my favorite) where they showed Jack all but breaking down from the events of the day. I think one of the reasons that Kiefer Sutherland's so good is that in the hands of a lesser actor, Jack Bauer could be about as belivable as Batman or James Bond. (I like Batman and James Bond, but I said belivable.)

Jack, you could actually believe these things are happening to a human being.

Oh, one thing, then I promise I'll drop this particular thread forever. Remember how I've complained once or twice about that stupid Fox promotional slogan, "America doesn't negotiate with terrorists. Neither does Jack?"

I'd just like to point out that not two hours of the new "day" had gone by before Jack was, in fact, negotiating with a terrorist.

And Assad, the possibly reformed (I'm sure we won't know for a few hours yet) terrorist Jack's been negotiating with is the most interesting of the new characters so far. That is to say he's the only interesting one of the new characters so far, thanks in large part to a charismatic performance by newcomer (to me) Alexander Siddig.

Seeing is believing And what I see Is a woman's face

Sarah Paulson didn't get a Golden Globe for Studio 60 tonight; but she looked beautiful not getting it. And during the quick shots of each of the nominees, she gave a wink to the camera that thrilled me to my toes.

It's kind of pathetic the way that a woman's face, even televised, can make me forget my troubles even for a moment...but that's exactly the way it works. And for that I am grateful. Tonight it was Sarah Paulson and next week her show is on.

It would be overdramatic to say persons and objects of beauty are the only thing keeping my head out of the muck and mire. But then, as Oscar Wilde, I believe, said, we are all in the gutter-but some of us are looking at the stars.

Random Flickr-blogging 4616

Source

"I can't go home unless I know where it is."

--Teddy, Huff, "Is She Dead?" written by Bob Lowry

This is a post I'll probably regret in the morning but fuck it. I want to go home and everything's wrong in my life and I don't know how to fix it and I'm getting old and I'm finding fucking grey hairs.

Grey hairs (!) on my temples and I'm so scared, I'm so fucking scared that nothing's ever going to happen with...I can't even type it because it makes me cry. But if you know me you probably know what I'm scared is never going to happen.

I feel like I'm not good at showing how much help I think I really need. Because when I'm around people or when I'm writing, as in this blog, for an "audience" I'm too well-trained at being witty and smart.

I can do all sorts of cool things, but I don't know how to live.

(PS: By the way it has nothing to do with the two guys-who I didn't even see when I found the picture-and everything to do with the Golden Gate)