Did you idiots learn nothing from when O'Reilly sued Franken?

Remember that? When Bill O'Reilly tried to sue Al Franken because Franken's book annoyed him, and it only had the effect of publicizing the book to the top of the bestseller lists? Yeah, I remember that too.

Unfortunately--at least for them--some anti-Obama "Birthers" seem to have missed that memo altogether. Specifically, one Joseph Farah and Jerome Corsi.

Farah is the CEO of WorldNetDaily.com, a shameful website that complains whenever someone suggests homosexuals are actual human beings (at other times, too) and promotes the nonsensical "war against Christmas" idea.

Corsi at least can say he's no anti-Obama come lately, as even before Obama was elected President, Corsi was comparing the then-Senator to Hitler. He was also one of those vulgar enough to say that when Obama flew to the side of his dying grandmother--who you know he loved very much if you read his books--he was really going to get his birth certificate.

Speaking of, Corsi wrote, and Farah published, the book Where’s the Birth Certificate? The Case That Barack Obama Is Not Eligible to Be President, and now:

...have filed suit against Hearst [corporation], Esquire magazine and writer Mark Warren over a satirical article that they say defamed them and damaged their business interests.

Warren published the article on May 18, 2011, just after Obama released his long-form birth certificate, answering the doubts of Corsi and other so-called birthers...“BREAKING! Jerome Corsi’s Birther Book Pulled From Shelves!”

Fellas, fellas, fellas: You've failed to learn from what G.B. Trudeau wrote in his book Flashbacks: 25 Years of Doonesbury:

Satire picks a one-sided fight, and the more its intended target reacts, the more its practitioner gains the advantage.

And so it was, later, as the Miller told his tale, that my face at first just ghostly turned a whiter shade of pale

Oh, my god. So help me, I'm actually starting to feel sorry for Dennis Miller. Like a lot of people, I used to think he was a pretty great comic; I liked him a lot.

I used to quote his lines very often, some I still do, like the one comparing therapists to hairstylists: "When I leave, my head looks great, an hour later I can't get it to look like that again." Even saw him live in San Francisco once--with a bonus walk-on performance by Robin Williams, yet.

But now? It's not just that he's no longer funny. It's not that his political vantage point has changed. It's that I fear for his sanity. And not for the first time. I noticed back in 2004, writing about his low-rated MSNBC show:

Miller treated his invited guest the way a sulky adolescent treats a chore he doesn’t want to do, like homework.

Then there's this post I wrote two or three years ago, saying of an appearance with Bill O'Reilly,

Watch this and tell me if at some moment you don't get the feeling you're watching a man who is literally out of his head.

Whether or not that's from drink and/or drugs or just his mind snapping from the sheer weight of his stupidity is not for me to say.

And most recently, like 15 minutes ago, I was trying to be brave and watch him on the Ferguson show. Literally the first words out of his mouth are an Anthony Weiner joke. Always on the cutting edge.

But then a little bit later he and Craig get to talking about some tour he's doing with the self-same O'Reilly. Craig throws a line about how they should do a set "like Martin & Lewis," with O'Reilly trying to sing straight and Miller cutting up the act with interruptions.

Ten seconds later (I swear to you), Miller says, "Oh, like Dino and Jerry." In other words, for ten full seconds, he'd had no idea what Ferguson was talking about. He totally spaced.

Now, granted that Dean and Jerry's peak was around the early '50s (give-or-take), when Miller was born. It'd be one thing if, like, some CW drama star named Brandon (they're all named Brandon) was not hip to the reference.

But for a 58-year-old man, a comedian, someone who was alive when the team was still working together as a duo to go up on that...well for me at least, that moves past sad through scary all the way up to spooky.

Then after Craig talked about how he prefers to avoid politics on his show for the most part (which is true), Miller's reaction was to take a couple of swipes at Nancy Pelosi. And just when I think that I couldn't dislike him any more, he takes a shot at Jonathan Winters. In fact, you know what I was saying about feeling sorry for him? Forget that.

I have to admit, I'm not terribly surprised...

...that Cars 2 has ended up being the first Pixar film to receive a "Rotten" rating from the Rotten Tomatoes site. Making a sequel to that first film was always going to be a dicey affair. It was by far their previously weakest, especially in terms of having a solid plot; it was pulled up mostly by some fine voice work (including by, I hate to say it, Larry the Cable Guy).

But, they had to stumble and fall eventually. I suppose I'm glad it was an attempt on a franchise that I don't care about. Rather than, say, a Ratatouille Deux.

Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice (UPDATED)

UPDATE:

Hmmmmm...a possible clue. Per her Facebook page, the great parodist--and, we hope, future Dancing With the Stars contestant--Julie Brown (of "The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun" fame) is in Hawaii.

Original post:

Todays "Who's searching for me now?" question:

Someone from a Hawaiian IP found this blog yesterday by Yahoo! searching "Ben A. Varkentine." That's the version of my name I use on Facebook, and I do have a friend on there who is currently "second honeymooning" in Hawaii. But she says it wasn't her, 'cos...she's second honeymooning, for crying out loud.

So I am left but to wonder.

It was probably President Obama. Or maybe Hewitt's on vacation again, and remembered the nice things I've said about her body.

A prediction: It is only a matter of time before Katy Perry starts making out with Marilyn Manson.

Then he can ruin her too.

this is where the classic phrase "running around like a rapist with your head cut off" comes from*

Woman walks through market holding severed head of man who tried to rape her

*Joke courtesy of Ed Crasnick. Used by kind permission.

I wonder what it's like to know that you pissed off the king of Hollywood.

Chilly, I would bet.

STEVEN SPIELBERG ORDERED MEGAN FOX TO BE FIRED AFTER 'HITLER' COMMENT

Ok so we reported a couple of days ago that Megan Fox apparently 'left' Transformers because director Michael Bay was over sexualising her and making her feel uncomfortable in her new role as America's sexiest woman.

...it was no surprise to learn that there may be more to this story, as apparently Michel Bay was told to fire Megan by executive producer [Spielberg] after some 'Hitler' comments that Megan was quoted as saying about Bay.

So what exactly did she say? Well in 2009 Fox told Wonderland magazine;

"He's like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation," she said. "He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he's not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he's so awkward, so hopelessly awkward."

To which Bay was reported as saying; "You know the Hitler thing, Steven said, ‘Fire her right now.'"

Fuck you, Green Lantern.

Ok, so, like, on 4chan somebody posted images from Saw III and made like it was some sort of "Take revenge on the Muslims" thing. I *think* they were trying to be funny. But in an attempt to one-up them and show what the images really were, somebody else on the thread linked to one of my posts, which is how I found out about this.

That's right. My Saw obsession is now being used to help spread truth and light throughout the world.

Ladies, I still say: If we can see your ribs, you're too skinny.

Thought upon seeing the new "Miss USA."

If you Google "dictionopolis in digitopolis nudity"...

......the first four results are all from this blog.

Fair enough, I suppose, but I do try to mix it up a bit.





Perhaps more oddly (or not), two of the posts are about Kate Winslet.

maura tierney update

You longtime readers know that I like to look in on Tierney from time to time, simply because she is TPWFMA.

So what's she up to these days? She'll be appearing in Three Hotels, by Jon Robin Baitz, at The Williamstown Theatre Festival in Mass.

Her co-star is Stephen Weber, best known to most from Wings, but to me from Jeffrey and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

I don't know the play, but based on their previous work, I would expect good things. Too bad I won't be able to see it unless my circumstances change drastically before the end of the month.

At any rate, there is your Maura Tierney Update. That is all.

In the Republican debate Monday night, Rick "man on dog" Santorum said this:

"You can look at my record. Not only have I been consistently pro-life, but I've ... taken the bullets to go out there and fight for this and lead on those issues."

You motherfucker. People on your side are actually shooting doctors to death and you're willing to mock that by casting yourself as some kind of red-state Superman? ("The bullets just bounce off my chest!)"

You utter, total and complete son of a bitch mockery of a human being.

(And BTW...if you're not familiar with ole' "man on dog," may I suggest you Google him? In fact...even if you are. Google him. Maybe Google him twice. Be sure to click on two or three of the results.)

Juste de temps à autre… je dois être rappelé ceci.

Sandra Lou -Banana split
Uploaded by benja21

That's okay, Anthony, I made a mistake too

I thought you were single.

You unbelieveable jackass.

Today's contestant comes to us from an Android on the T-Mobile USA network (which is also the network I use, BTW) in Springdale, Arkansas...

That's right, friends. It's another exciting episode of...

"Who's searching for me now?"

Beautiful.

"This is part of the problem with the way this has progressed and one of the reasons I was perhaps, you'll forgive me, a little stiff yesterday," [Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY)] said.

That's it. I want this man to run for president.

The Congressman is doing interviews with CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News to discuss the matter.

"I'm doing them in order of....something," he told reporters.

"Size," Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) said, interrupting him from nearby.

"That's what I didn't need right now," Weiner replied.

Can I ask something? Exactly what law would the Congressman have broken even if the picture is of him, and he did "tweet" it to that young woman? I don't believe he did, but if he had, so what? He's single. She's an adult.

I guess some might say it's creepy for an older man to pursue a much younger woman...but Newt Gingrich and John McCain better not be among them...

More fun with headlines

Billy Ray Cyrus Admits He Could Have Been a Better Father

Rest of country admits: We agree.

Somehow I just know that the funniest thing about this movie is going to be its existence

See if you can count the contradictions in this sentence: Rev. Ted Haggard will make a cameo as himself in a Christian sex comedy promoting abstinence, with the tagline "abstinence never felt so good."

Called The Waiting Game, the movie follows a schlub named Jack who's super excited about finally losing his virginity on his wedding night, but is foiled when his fiancee leaves him at the altar.

Rich Praytor, one of the producers, acknowledged the similarities between The Waiting Game and Virgin. "I love all the Judd Apatow movies -- '40 Year Old Virgin,' 'Knocked Up,' 'Superbad' -- they're all great," he told the Colarado Springs Gazette.

Sigh. Look, I've tried to tell you this before. Conservative republicans are not funny. There are no funny conservative republicans. They don't exist. Only people with a history of connections to unfunny things make conservative republican comedies.

Candace Cameron, of Full House fame, is also attached to the project as Jack's love interest.

Case in point.

Here now, a word from our (non) sponsor

My pal Corey Klemow is featured in this commercial. It was made for a contest that Chevy had, and took fifth place! Right now it's just on YouTube, but if it gets enough views, who knows where it could end up?

Oh, and Corey's the guy who answers the door.

On behalf of Jane Wiedlin*, I resent that

Sarah Palin gets to tell her side of things in an [self-produced] "epic," two-hour-long, $1 million movie that portrays her as a "Joan of Arc-like figure"

Joan of Arc? So they're saying she's a cross-dressing witch that hears voices in her head and believes she has a divine mission?

...yeah, I could see that.

BTW, the movies title is...The Undefeated.

The Undefeated?

Sarah Palin lost the election to be the vice-president. That was a defeat. Shouldn't it be...The Loser?

She also famously quit in the middle of her term as Alaska Governor. The Quitter?

The film argues that Palin took on powerful interests and won major accomplishments quickly,

Name three.

*To say nothing of Orchestral Maneuvers in The Dark.