Some More of My Favorite Podcasts: Six

The Mental Illness Happy Hour

"A Podcast & Forum about mental illness & depression ~ especially among artists."

Okay, I'm gonna have to go serious on you here for a minute. As I think most of you know who are reading this, I was raised in an environment that was dysfunctional in some key ways. Largely but perhaps not entirely because of that, I suffer from depression.

In fighting this, I've been taking medication, and I've also tried to open myself up to a little Buddhism-influence (or a lot). I'm not going to turn this into an entry all about my reactions and feelings in this fight (I have a whole other blog for that), but some ways in which the depression manifests itself are hopelessness, fear, isolation and shame.

Well, here's a show the stated goal of which is spreading the idea, not that everything's coming up roses...but that roses can still grow. Of figuring out how to stay safe against those things, real and imagined, that you're scared of. A show the motto of which is "You Are Not Alone." A show that honors the suffering.

It does this in the form of remarkably candid interviews with people, usually in the comedy performing and/or writing business, who've suffered from depression and/or other mental illnesses.

This makes for an excellent use of the intimacy of the podcast format. You really feel as though the people conversing have forgotten that their words are being recorded and will be "broadcast" (or whatever it is podcasts do). Though obviously, that can't be so.

This is another one that I subscribed to after hearing only one episode. However, although it still pushes some of my buttons is mostly good ways, I do have a couple of qualms; they're both about the host.

Paul Gilmartin is not a mental health professional. Nor does he pretend to be (he's not Dr. Laura); the website for the show states clearly:

This site is not intended to replace the need for medical diagnosis. Please leave that to professionals. It’s not a doctor’s office. Think of it more as a waiting room that doesn’t suck.

Yet I still feel sometimes uneasy, or at least...not completely at ease.

Gilmartin is a comedian who himself suffers from some of these illnesses. On the one hand, his situation means he knows something whereof he speaks. But it also means he's playing with some very valuable (and volatile) things, the emotions of his audience; perhaps without fully knowing what he is doing. I think perhaps it might make me, personally, feel better, if he would make a statement similar to the above quote a part of the show's usual intro.

However well-intentioned--and I believe that Gilmartin's intentions are nothing but good, to help himself and to help his audience--there's still at least as much of a chance that could hurt as heal. I also kind of wish that he'd do a little more research sometimes.

If my expectations for this are higher than they are for something like good old WTF, it's because WTF hasn't hung out a shingle advertising for the neurotic (the neurotic just show up there).

Okay, I've talked enough--maybe/probably more than enough. Listen to a few and make up your own mind. Recommended episodes: Wendy Liebman, Greg Behrendt, Marc Maron and Frank Conniff.

Risk!

This podcast is a series of true stories told by the people they happened to. Most though not all of these are entertainers and writers; some you'll know, others you won't. At least one that had me laughing out loud was told by someone I had never heard of before.

The idea being that these should be events the tellers never in a million years thought they would be telling to anyone, let alone an audience. Hence the name for the show. The results are always interesting, often funny and entertaining.

But I should be clear: The stories are by no means all meant to be funny. Many of them are, but some of them are just devastating. Some are stories you'll wish had happened to you, others you'll thank whatever name you put "god" under in the book have never happened to you.

The weekly-changing variety of storytellers makes it a bit like an anthology--okay, maybe exactly like an anthology: If you don't enjoy one particular story, you have a chance that the next one will be better.

And like many anthologies, each episode has a theme around which each tale is supposed to spin. Some of the connections made are weird, but who cares?

At least one recent episode does suffer from the same flaw for which I chided Rob Paulsen: An irritatingly hard sell for a project the host wishes to promote, but it remains to be seen whether or not this will prove a habit.

Recommended episodes: Son of Strange Sex, In Harms Way, and Sneaky Choices.

How Did This Get Made?

I've talked about this one of my favorite podcasts a couple of times here already. It's a show that, to quote the opening theme song, "wallow[s] in the mediocrity of sub-par art." Twice a month their goal is to take aim at some movie which is not just bad, but amazingly so.

Paul Scheer hosts along with Jason Mantzoukas and June Diane Raphael. And there's a fourth "chair" filled by a different guest each episode.

The discussions sound very much like the participants have loaded up on Coke and M& M'S before each recording. They're highly stimulated, talk fast and often over each other, remarkably without sacrificing much clarity--though it is sometimes difficult to tell who's speaking.

(Especially when the guest is a woman. Raphael's take on the movie under review is nearly always worth hearing, but she does not have, to my ear, an especially distinctive speaking voice.)

They're not much for a plot synopsis, but usually reveal enough in the course of their discussions that you can follow along even if you haven't seen the movie. In one--and only, so far--case, they made me want to see it (that case was the episode for Crank 2: High Voltage.)

Raphael is Scheer's wife, incidentally. But completely not incidentally, all three of the regulars are working actors and/or writers in Hollywood. This means their speculation on just what the hell was happening on the sets of the movies they report on can be well-informed, certainly more so than mine would be, and maybe yours.

It also means that sooner or later, if they're at all fair, they're going to have to get to a movie that one or more of them were in. There comes a time when if you're going to deal out blows, however funny those blows may be, you have to pay the piper.

Scheer had a supporting role in Piranha 3-D and returns in its upcoming sequel, and has floated the idea of a special show on one or both of those movies, perhaps with other members of the cast and/or crew.

While I'd like to hear that episode, it does drift a bit far astray of the "so unintentionally stupid they're funny/so bad they're good" criteria. Piranha 3-D is intentionally stupid, funny, and good.

No, the movie I await their taking on with baited breath is...one I'll admit right now that I haven't seen, but most everyone who has seems to think sucked. It's one not only that Raphael and Scheer appeared in, but that Raphael actually co-wrote with one of their guests, Casey Wilson: Bride Wars.

Till that happy day, I recommend checking out one, more, or all of these episodes: , The Back-Up Plan, The Love Guru, Old Dogs, Burlesque, and All About Steve.

Blogging My Podcasts: Five

Pop My Culture

You're likely to have gotten by now that I prefer my podcasts on the lighter side, although there are certainly exceptions--WTF can get pretty heavy, for example. But Pop My Culture is probably the coziest podcast around.

It's like sitting on a sofa with a couple of funny, nerdy friends, hosts Cole Stratton and Vanessa Ragland. Who developed pretty quickly if not instantaneously into a good double act.

Neither is the others stooge, but--to oversimplify--Stratton is the "Abbott" or pseudointellectual one, and Ragland the "Costello"--childlike in her enthusiasms, and almost surreal in her thinking processes (at least as presented on the show).

Their guests tend to be people whose names you may or may not recognize depending on how aware you were of that sort of thing in preadulthood, but whose work you definitely know if you were young at all in the '80s.

For example: William Zabka, Eddie Deezen, Alan Ruck, and Savage Steve Holland w/Curtis Armstrong.

Another of their guests, voice artist Rob Paulsen, has a podcast of his own called:

Talkin Toons with Rob Paulsen

Unfortunately I can't recommend it as a regular listen. Not that Paulsen doesn't have some great stories to tell, he does. And like most voice-over artists, he can raise a smile simply by adopting a voice from when you were a kid (he was Pinky of and the Brain, Yakko of the Animaniacs and hundreds more).

Listening to at least a handful of his shows is well worth your time: Episode 7, with special guest “The Brain” Maurice Lamarche is the one I’d suggest first.

The problem is that he front-loads each episode with too long a commercial for seminars he's offering across the States. I don't object to him promoting this venture, the podcast is, after all, free, and he has the right to use it to get people in their seats at paying gigs.

That's what most comedians use theirs for at least in part, after all. But Marc Maron gets through his sponsorship messages and/or personal plugs in scarcely more than a minute, y'know?

(It should also be noted that a percentage of the moneys from these seminars is to go to charity, in the interest of fairness and fullness)

How Was Your Week with Julie Klausner

If you're anything like me, you may find yourself disagreeing with Klausner at least as often as you agree with and/or are amused by her. But where else are you going to find a podcast with segments on favorite performances of the National Anthem? Or interviews with Paul Scheer of the podcast How Did This Get Made? (which I'll get to any day now) and movie star Sally Kellerman in the same episode?

These are the podcasts I listen to: Four

I listen to a number of old-time radio podcasts. Retro radio is one of my favorite things, and there's something extra-fun to me about the incongruity of listening to it via technology not only that the participants couldn't have imagined, their children couldn't have imagined. I won't recommend any specific episodes or even podcasts (there are simply too many), but if you share my interest, the iTunes search window is your friend.

Kevin Pollak's Chat Show

Actor and comedian Pollak was an "early adopter" of the online show/podcast format with this series, which he has described as an attempt to make "a funny Charlie Rose." Which I interpret as something with dignity which also tries to go a little deeper than your average come-on-and-plug-your-movie show...and is also funny.

The resulting show, available in both audio and video formats, is hit-and-miss. The best come when Pollak gets to the conversation with his guest quickly. He too often spends too much time beforehand chatting with regulars Sam Levene, the closest thing this show has to an Andy Richter, and Jaime Fox, who assists Pollak in the running of the show (she's also his romantic partner). This is not as much fun for the audience, or at least not this member of it, as Pollak thinks.

But some of the conversations are excellent, with Michael McKean a recent standout, and a joint appearance from Paul Provenza + Rick Overton a little further back another. Certainly enough to keep me a subscriber.

(The Laura Prepon interview, on the other hand, I've yet to be able to get through and it's not just because I don't like looking at Prepon so much since she went blonde--why, god, why?. It's because their conversation sinks into a discussion of poker, of interest to both of them as well as Levene. Just not to me. I can listen to conversations about things not really of interest to me, if those conversing can connect to me in such a way that I understand at least their passion for it. A recounting of winning hands does not qualify, at least not without a good story to go with it.)

Totally Laime

I've said of other shows in this ongoing "tribute" that they were "relaxed" and/or "easygoing." Well, Elizabeth Laime (get it?) takes that to such an extreme on her podcast that one could almost forget she was even there; her guests seem to get the lion's share of the attention. I'm not entirely sure that's a bad thing.

I don't mean that Laime isn't interesting herself: I started listening to this podcast because I liked a piece she'd written in an anthology. But the "podsphere" (people say that, right?) is not exactly lacking in people who like to talk about themselves--or, to be fair, in people who are engaging at it. It's kind of a nice relief to tune into someone who doesn't seem to be podcasting from the home for the pitiful wretched.

Recommended episodes: Garfunkel and Oates; Margot Leitman

Ben Loves Podcasts III

Doug Loves Movies

The Doug of the title is comic Doug Benson, and this is half talk show; half game show. The talk is just about what movies he and his guests have seen recently, and the game is what's called "The Leonard Maltin Game."

This consists of him reading an entry from the Maltin movie guide (leaving out anything that gives away the title). Then the contestants--show guests who play for someone in the audience that they select--"bet" on how few names from the cast list, starting from the bottom, they need to hear before naming the movie. If this game were played for some real money, I could clean up.

I fear I've made this sound a whole lot heavier than it is. Benson makes no secret of his regular marijuana usage (and I have just proven myself a master of understatement) and, at least partly as a result, his attitude towards his hosting duties can perhaps best be described as...relaxed.

Recommended episodes: John Lithgow, Jonathan Lipnicki, Sarah Silverman and Greg Behrendt, Kevin Pollak & Dave Foley.

Who Charted?

This agreeable if inconsequential podcast looks at the music and movie charts with the help of a guest, and there's usually a special chart or two just for them. Recommended episodes: Sarah Silverman and Aimee Mann.

Battleship Pretension

BP probably does the best job of bringing on guests you haven't already heard on every single other podcast. Even if you like Marc Maron and Paul F. Tompkins, and I do (especially Maron), there comes a time when you start to wonder if they have to be on every show every week.

What Battleship Pretension does the worst job of, however, is labeling their episodes for their subscribers on iTunes. See, when I go to the WTF section of my "sync podcasts" page, I can see at a glance that episode 203 is Carol Leifer, 202 is Jimmy Schubert, 197 is Andrew Dice Clay and his son. In the Battleship Pretension section, all I get is numbers: 231, 230, 229, 228. I wish they'd fix that.

But anyway, recommended episode: 221 with Susan Burke. I had never heard (or heard of) Burke before, but it's a good conversation, and on a semi-personal note I was especially taken with Burke's speaking voice. After hearing this episode I "Facebooked" her to say I thought she should do audiobooks.

More podcasts

Making It with Riki Lindhome

Lindhome is the Garfunkel in Garfunkel and Oates, the singing-songwriting team all the nerds have crushes on and I am no exception.



She's also an actress whose films have ranged from two with Clint Eastwood to the Last House on the Left remake, and worked in the theater with Tim Robbins' Actors Gang.

The idea of her podcast is to talk to other people who, like her, have basically "made it" (get the pun of the title now?) in the business they call show. Not your Emma Stones necessarily in terms of fame, but people who are at the very least financially secure from their work.

She's trying (I think) to give as gloss-free a look as possible at the process of getting there; they're fun conversations on which to "eavesdrop."

Recommended episodes: Diora Baird and Lindhome talk candidly about being good-looking women in Hollywood, and it's actually a lot more interesting than I just made it sound. And my favorite Terminator-turned-supercomputer/sociopathic, human trafficking and murdering villain, Garret Dillahunt.

The Nerdist

This is a chat show about, as the title suggests, nerdy things. However, since host Chris Hardwick uses the definition of "nerd" as-

"A person who is intensely interested in a particular hobby or topic."

-he casts a wider net than you might imagine. SF TV shows, more mainstream fare, comic-books, comic-book movies; comedy and comedians are all subjects worthy of nerding out over on this show (among others).

When Hardwick and sidekicks Jonah Ray and Matt Mira don't have guests they do what they call "Hostful Podcasts," which is just the three of them talking. These can be fun and informative, but the best shows hands down are those with the guests, especially if those guests have some relationship with one or more of the hosts.

For example, possibly the episode to which I've re-listened most often features geek god Wil Wheaton, whose friendship with Hardwick spans two decades; that history can be heard in the way they talk to each other.

That episode, like all of those I would choose as the "best of the best," was recorded live before an audience. The hosts and their guests universally seem to do better with an audience to play to.

Another recommendation, but only if you're already a fan, is the special Doctor Who episode they did for the premiere of that series' season six. Hardwick is arguably the best known Who fan in America...at least as far as the contemporary version is concerned. When it comes to the original; classic series his knowledge is a little more shaky.

Which is why he gets taken to school in the episode featuring his only rival for most famous US Dr. Who fan, Late Late Show host and all around cool guy Craig Ferguson.

WTF with Marc Maron

Odds are even if you don't listen to many (or any) podcasts, you've heard of this one. Maron is the current face of podcasting, having taken over the role from Ricky Gervais. His experience working in radio no doubt helps the professional sound, but the biggest rocks in his pack are his neurosis and ability to articulate same.

As with The Nerdist, the very best episodes are those whose guests have some history with Maron; since he's a 20-plus year veteran of stand-up, that's almost everyone. But in Maron's case, however, there's a running gag in the number of guests to whom he has to apologize at least once during the show, usually for having acted like a dick to them in some previous meeting.

As a recommended episode, I'm going to suggest you start with the recent 200th, even though it's atypical. For this Maron turns the tables on himself and is interviewed by New York City comedian Mike Birbiglia.

Basically, if Marc isn't for you, his podcast won't be either, and an hour and a half of him talking about himself should be enough to tell you if he's for you. Besides, he certainly has a history with that guest. As a bonus, there's a closing montage of "greatest hits" from the first 199 episodes.

To be continued...

A Continuing Guide to Podcasts, pt. One (EDITED WITH ADDITION)

So I was thinking that I'd like to write a little about some of the podcasts I've been listening to lately. Some are quite well-known, others...less so. As usual with me with this kind of thing, there's no great significance to the order, but let's start with:

So I Married A Movie Geek

Just as the name suggests, the premise of this podcast is that in a married couple, Krissy & Justin, the husband is trying to teach his wife the error of her ways for having missed so many films. The couple watch a couple a week, usually that complement each other in some way, and talk about them. Sometimes I question their taste, but it's usually fun.

Recommended Episode: 13-The Blue Lagoon

Offstage w/ Christian Polanco

I subscribed to this 'cast immediately after hearing one episode--this one. It's a kind of podcast I'd been hoping for, one with honest, real exchanges and talk about relationships. It's surprising how intimate one or two of his guests are willing to be--or maybe not, since they tend to be performers, who in turn tend to have exhibitionist streaks.

PRI: The Sound of Young America

This easygoing interview program also airs (in an expurgated form) on some public radio stations--PRI stands for "Public Radio International." Also, they chose my favorite soundbyte from Evil Dead to play with the Bruce Campbell interview.

SYA host Jesse Thorn also co-hosts a podcast called Jordan, Jesse GO! This is as close to indistinguishable from SYA as makes no odds, save for the presence of co-host Jordan Morris. (I'd imagine that like the parents of twins, they could tell me lots of differences between the two, but to this outsider...)

ETA: One thing JJG does have to distinguish it from the SYA is this theme song:



To be continued.

Playing Dragon Poker

What would you say were the odds of my finding a pop song at random (like, it was on the internet radio on a page I visited) and thinking it was pretty cool? Those odds have got to be good, right? Pop music is one of those things which I enjoy to the fullest.

But plus to that my then finding some YouTuber has made a video for it (and uploaded it today) featuring another of those things which I enjoy to the fullest. Namely, dragons? Surely those things make it just a little bit more unlikely, right? What if it also had art from the deviantart site, yet, from which I've posted images?

Well then, I think we can only draw one conclusion: I was meant to find that song and this video today, and post it here. If you want to trifle with the will of the universe you can just scroll on right past, but I wouldn't, if I were you.

(BTW, there are one or two tastefully depicted portrayals of dragon-on-dragon sex)

Sentences that should've been rephrased

Christine O'Donnell walked off the set of her interview with Piers Morgan after he probed her

Nothing to see here, folks, move along, step lively

So it seems that this 18-year-old girl in Australia was found with what was purported to be a "booby trap" type of device around her neck. After the police force, working with experts, were able to remove the collar, it was found to have been a hoax.

Now...I will not voice any suspicions at this time as to whether the young lady's tale of how she got into the collar was the truth.

But I'm not the only one who, on seeing this story, was reminded of a certain third film in the thrilling (mostly) Saw series.

The terror echoes the plot of the 2006 horror movie Saw III in which a madman fits a collar of shotgun cartridges round a pretty victim's neck.

Technically, a madwoman fits the shotgun cartridges round her neck.

More interestingly:

Prime Minister Julia Gillard has likened the ordeal to "a Hollywood script". She said it's "the kind of thing you would see at the cinema or on TV. You would never expect it to happen in real life in Australia".

Well, yeah...if you forget that Saw was created and Saw III was written by two Australians (Leigh Whannell and James Wan).

Let's not be so quick to blame Hollywood for the mad things in art that mad people try to make live, m'kay?

Why would she do this to me, that's all.

I just want to know why she'd do this to me. Why would who do what?

Why would Jane Wiedlin, at whose hotness I once fell at her feet.



Why would she sacrifice her signature Joan of Arc cut to go bleach blonde?

Why, that's all.

So go figure.

In the first 10 minutes of this WTF with Marc Maron podcast, Maron reads some e-mails. One of them is from me. He doesn't read my name--although oddly, one of the others whose name he does read (bastard) is Ben, too.

Whether by process of elimination or because you recognize my style, you'll probably know which one is mine, should you care to listen.

Again indulging that occasional habit of Amazon reviewing

Talking to Girls About Duran Duran, by Rob Sheffield.

It's time for the annual try

And now, four completely unrelated matters.

1. Tuesday, September First, will be my birthday.

2. iTunes sells gift certificates; I have a Wish List there.

3. I also have an Amazon Wishlist.

4. All together, every single Saw movie on said Amazon Wishlist combined could be had for like, $16 (not including shipping).

Good day. Thank you for your time.

A New Feature

You in my vast reading audience are familiar by now with the fun I like to have with headlines. "Headlines That Should Have Been Rephrased;" "Great Headlines in Journalism," and the like.

I'm proud now to introduce a new series, which I intend to call: Headlines That Could've been a Lot Funnier, with a Little Rewriting.

Case in point:

Rick Santorum Unleashes on Rick Perry for Gay Marriage Stance

Now, if they'd just gone for the word "Unloads"...

I'm beginning to think John Boehner may not be the wisest of men

Hello. If you follow the doings in our government, you may remember this incident a few months ago:

House Speaker John Boehner (R., Ohio) said Thursday that he would not agree to another temporary extension of federal government funding at current levels, upping the stakes in the debate over federal spending.

“Read my lips: We’re going to cut spending...

Shortly thereafter he was overheard saying he couldn't believe he'd said that.

Why? Because--

The phrase “Read my lips” is rarely heard in politics since George H. W. Bush used it during the Republican National Convention in 1988 to emphasize that he wouldn’t raise taxes — something he did as president to shrink the deficit.

And breaking that promise was one of the things--not the only thing, but one of the things--that killed Bush's chances for a second term. So you can understand Boehner's disbelief.

You might think, however, that he'd have learned a lesson from that gaffe. However, back in 1984...

Bush had gotten in some trouble because he had refused categorically to rule out a tax increase in terms as adamantine as Reagan's. Bush tried to wiggle out of press conferences where this came up: "No more nit-picking. Zippity doo-dah. Now it's off to the races," was his parting shot as he sought to exit one press conference where he was being grilled.

And today...

Boehner: 'It's A Zippity-Do-Da Day!'

That's what Speaker Boehner told one of our reporters as he was walking into a meeting of his caucus a short time ago.

Now, to invite comparison with George Bush I (esp. where taxes are concerned) once might be cast as unwise. To do so twice smacks of irresponsibility. The question is: Will he go for the hat trick?

And if so, how? Will he pick a fight with a short, Greek man as Bush One did? Will he be defeated by Bill Clinton, as Bush One was? Nah. If I had to place a bet, I'd look for something in the area of describing Medicare as "socialized medicine," as Bush did all the way back in 1964.

C'mon, John. I know you can do it.

That's the funniest thing I've heard in years

"As hours pass and the uncertainty builds, I think the market is starting to price in the potential that we might not have a solution by August 2," the deadline for raising the U.S. debt limit, said Channing Smith, managing director of Capital Advisors Inc. "Confidence in our political system is beginning to fade."

Beginning to fade? Beginning?

The war in Iraq...

Bush v. Gore...

Iran/Contra...

The war in Vietnam...

Watergate...

The assassination of JFK...

And he thinks confidence in our political system is just beginning to fade?

Sheesh.

I've been dissed by the star of one of my favorite shows!

Holy shit.

Okay, quick backstory. About a month ago, MoveOn.Org ran a clip from the Roseanne show under the headline,

What If Everyone Understood Today What Roseanne Understood Then?

Good clip, right? I agree. However--I freely admit--I get a little twitchy when I think writers aren't being given proper credit. So I did some quick searching and then made this comment on the Facebook version of the MoveOn post--

I think you mean what if everyone understood today what Jeff Abugov, Joel Madison and Ron Nelson knew then. They're the ones who actually wrote the episode.

--and then I don't think I've thought about it since.

Apparently, however, a fan of Roseanne * went to her blog and asked about it, saying,

Roseanne, do you know who the fuck Ben A. Varkentine is?

And lo and behold, she replied.

if you read the comments--one guy says that the three writers whose names are on the script wrote the lines, but that isn't how tv works at all--people get their names on a script according to a ledger--when it's their turn to get their names on a script--the roseanne show was written by at least fifteen people each script--and then I added jokes and thoughts and scenes to it and it was sent back and "gang punched up"...

Now. I'm actually aware that most TV is "gang written" and Roseanne was no exception. Thing is, not having been on the set myself, the only guide I have as to who wrote what is the credits. So did the three guys who were credited actually not write that scene? Maybe.

Did Roseanne? Funny, she doesn't say so. But after all, she delivered the lines (and did a good job) and the show was named after her. It appears that she would like us to infer that we might as well assume she wrote them all.

Certainly she doesn't name any other writer or writers who might be responsible, either. It's also worth noting that her relationship with most if not all of the Roseanne writers was famously abusive and belittling.

Speaking of which. Back on her blog, she then said this...

--so this guy ben k.v. who thinks he knows something --quite simply knows nothing.

Well. The easy shot is that I do at least know that my latter two initials are A & V, not K and V. But let's overlook that--she was probably in a hurry, and the name "Varkentine" has confused people better than me, you, or she. But I'm less inclined to overlook her parting shot "at" me:

Nice try though, boy--always trying to separate the woman from her work.

Well thank you, little lady, for always assuming sexism if someone doesn't like your work (or in this case, does like your work (much of it, anyway--see below), but questions whether you deserve all 100% of the credit for it).

The thing is--Roseanne is one of my favorite shows. To name just one example of why, I think the two-part story in which Roseanne's sister Jackie is beaten by her boyfriend should be a model of how to do a "very special" episode.

I think it really tried to examine, within its restrictions, the different and varying thoughts and feelings women and men have about violence. And it did so while remaining really funny, but without resorting to a compulsive need to "lighten" a very dark subject.

I think the Conners showed better than 97% of other sitcoms what a real American family was like in the '90s. ...up to a certain point.

(I mark the disintegration as beginning with the arrival of the not-Becky. Nothing against Sarah Chalke--as she would go on to show on Scrubs, she's a talented actress--but that's where the show's fictional reality began to thin, until it was finally torn up completely. By the time of the ending, oh god was it waiting to die.)

I have no problem acknowledging that Roseanne probably deserves the queen's share of the credit for why the show was so good, when it was so good. Characters like Roseanne, Dan and Darlene Conner had rarely if ever been shown before on television.

However, I think she deserves the queen's share of the credit. Not all of it. And I also think she deserves at least as much blame for why when the show got bad, it got so bad. In that regard, I suppose I should just be grateful that Roseanne didn't see these thoughts of mine on the series, written a few years ago:

It's ironic, but I really think you can trace the decline of this show by how much power Roseanne had over her character.

In the first years, Roseanne Conner is a strong, funny, loving woman. At the end, she's controlling, grim, and hateful.

Or that I said that the "real" her irritated me (and that was before all this!).

Then she might really have gotten angry.

And if that doesn't just say it all.

With pressure mounting on Congress and the White House to ensure the government doesn't default on its debt, the latest Democratic offering shows just how much party leaders have compromised during the negotiations as Republicans have held their ground. For weeks, Democrats demanded that any substantial package include revenues to offset spending cuts, namely by closing corporate tax loopholes and ending subsidies for the oil and gas industry. But their demands have now been whittled away to a proposal coming from their own party with major cuts and no revenue at all.

Republicans, meanwhile, have largely gotten what they wanted in their push for significant spending cuts without new revenue.

I ask for your forgiveness in advance

Just reading an article about the killings in Norway today. And I want to be clear that I'm as horrified by the thought of them as I hope every reasonable person would be. So I don't mean to make light, rather to take some solace in dark humor, when I say that this sentence from the story jumped out at me.

See if you can tell why.

"I saw many dead people," said Elise, whose father, Vidar Myhre, didn't want her to disclose her last name.

Sigh. Laugh, clown, laugh...

A choice of replies

Paris Hilton storms off TV interview after being called a has-been

1. Don't you have to have once been something in order to be a has-been?

Or...

2. To be fair, Paris still can wear clothes, help cause the failure of movies (some of which should've done better) and be at least two different kinds of whore. That's not a has-been at all, that's all she's ever been.

Thank you.

They couldn't have just turned on a TV, I suppose. (Edited w/addition)

I'm not saying journalism all over the world has other problems than the Murdochs...but I did just notice something. If you read news items of the father and son testimony today, you'll see that in some of them, Murdoch, Sr, tells the committee, "This is the most humble day of my life."

But in others, it was "...the most humble day of my career." Well really, how hard is that? We're talking about testimony which is being televised (live) on a multiplicity of stations around the world. And they can't get right words he spoke less than two hours before?

ETA: On the other hand, Murdoch later claimed that he wasn't sure whether or not he'd said the arrested ex-employee Rebekah Brooks was his "priority." (He's been so quoted by low-profile outlets like the BBC. )

Why isn't he sure, he says? Because there were "about 20 microphones stuck in my mouth" at the time. As if the number of devices that convert sound into electronic signal in front of one's mouth at any given time have any effect on what comes out of that mouth, or memory of same.

Even granting that might be true of you or I, or any so-called "regular people," it doesn't fly when we're talking about someone who has been an influential media mogul for more than 30 years.

You're telling me he doesn't know exactly what he's saying to that self-same media at any given time, no matter how many microphones are in front of him? Well. This is another one of those problems.

Either he knows perfectly well and is lying about it, which doesn't say much for his ethics, or he truly doesn't remember something he said less than two weeks ago, which doesn't say much for his faculties.

See, this is how you know you've crossed some sort of a line.

If You Offer To Masturbate For Her, Sophie Monk WILL Get In Touch With You.

Appeals to the public? I wouldn't be so sure of that...

There's an old saying. I've seen it attributed to Mahatma Gandhi, and I've seen it attributed to a "French radical." It may even be apocryphal. But it goes like this:

"There they go. I must run, and catch up with them--for I am their leader!"

For some reason, that old saying popped into my head just now when I saw this headline on the Yahoo! main page:

Obama appeals to public to help influence debt-ceiling deal

Oh. Really. Now Obama appeals to the public. The public that has been screaming into the wilderness (for months, at least) that they don't want anything to happen to Social Security, and they do want the wealthy people of this country to pay their share.

(Seriously, the numbers are pretty overwhelming for both).

Now Obama appeals to the public, after wasting so much time trying to make deals with people who are actively working for his defeat, and clearly don't care if everybody from the middle class on down goes with him.

Great.

How many times will the republicans have to keep pissing in his mouth before he'll stop calling it lemonade?

Gracious. Don't tell me I offend.

Got a nice note from a fella screennamed "joe_h," who informs me that

You have suckass taste in women.

This is in reaction to an old post here in which I responded to Esquire's naming Kate Beckinsale "The sexiest woman alive."

My correspondent further goes on to say that:

None of the women you named should even be mentioned in the same breath with Kate Beckinsale.

For the record, the other women I named in that old post: Anna Faris, Lauren Graham; Rosamund Pike, Megan Mullally, Bebe Neuwirth, Megan Aniston and Jennifer Fox (or sumthin), Amanda Seyfried and Amy Sedaris.

Now, this was almost two years ago. It is a fact of life that sexy does not always age well.

I'm not sure I'd name them all again now, except maybe Aniston, and I'd probably add Rosario Dawson.

But to say that none of them should be mentioned in the same breath? Is he serious? I'll say he's serious:

The fact that Kate doesn't ring your bell means you are either blind or a fag.

Oh, like there's no chance I could be both?

Sorry. I freely admit Beckinsale does have a certain something (although that something isn't picking good movie roles), but I still don't think she's all that.

...you had to be slapped down for your awful and wrong post.

Consider me slapped!

Oh, no no no no no no no no no...

Mars Needs Moms didn't fall flat soon enough to stop this future eyesore from being made.

Spielberg doesn't understand animation much better than his friend Zemeckis does--he made a movie out of The Flintstones, for crying out loud. To say nothing of An American Tail (and believe me, I'd rather say nothing of An American Tail).

But then motion capture, as we've discussed but as I am going to keep repeating until I've wrung the nausea that it causes from my body, is not animation. Any more than moving corpses around on sticks is acting.

To coin a phrase: This is obviously some new usage of the word "responsibility" I wasn't previously aware of

Orrin Hatch: The 'Poor' Should Do More To Shrink Debt, Not The Rich

"I hear how they're so caring for the poor and so forth," Hatch said in remarks on the Senate floor Wednesday, in reference to Democrats. "The poor need jobs! And they also need to share some of the responsibility."

Responsibility, Senator? A variation on the word Responsible. The word Responsible:

1.
answerable or accountable, as for something within one's power, control, or management (often followed by to or for ): He is responsible to the president for his decisions.

or

3.
chargeable with being the author, cause, or occasion of something (usually followed by for ): Termites were responsible for the damage.

Who's responsible for the high deficit, Senator? Who added five trillion to our national debt?

Don't talk to me about responsibility, Senator. In fact don't talk about it at all, to anyone. It doesn't become you to use words you so clearly know nothing about.

I'd like to start a rumor--tee hee--that Demi Moore's daughter's real father is Tom Bailey of the Thompson Twins

Contempt Prior to Investigation

I haven't seen any of the films on Yahoo!'s list of "The 10 Biggest Movie Flops of 2011 (So Far)," but that's not going to keep me from Schadenfreude about some of them...and/or use them as an excuse to run some photos of aesthetic young women...

THE BEAVER

Yahoo! sez:

Many saw it as a referendum on Mel Gibson, who stars in the $20 million film.

That may well be. But personally, I think they might've had a chance of selling a few more tickets if the director had taken a possessory credit.

MARS NEEDS MOMS

It's possible you may never know the joy that it gave me when this latest motion-capture eyesore by that dullard Robert Zemeckis fell flat.

ARTHUR

Teach them to try to remake one of my two favorite romantic comedies...

PROM

Actually this one I don't care one way or the other about, except that I'm sorry Aimee Teegarden of Friday Night Lights hasn't had a smooth transition into films.

JUDY MOODY AND THE NOT BUMMER SUMMER

A film where Heather Graham stays completely dressed. Who would've thought that would fail?

GREEN LANTERN

All I know is that from the first time I saw Ryan Reynolds in a trailer, I said, "That's not Hal Jordan."

PRIEST

I freely admit this is pure sexual jealousy, but I think it's just beautiful whenever Jennifer Connelly's husband goes splat.

SUCKER PUNCH

Nothing for me to say about this one except that the characters had lovely bodies (at
least, based on the posters, which as we all know are never deceptive).

But it does give me a chance to plug one of my favorite Podcasts: How Did This Get Made?

I'm feeling a little pressed for time, so I'm just going to copy and paste the description from their web page:

Have you ever seen a movie so bad that it's amazing? Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael and Jason Mantzoukas want to hear about it! We'll watch it with our funniest friends, and report back to you with the results.

And finally--

HOODWINKED TOO! GOOD VS EVIL

I knew this didn't have a chance when I heard they'd made the inexplicable decision to replace Anne Hathaway as a voice performer.

(Rio made $140.5M--You hear what I'm saying to you?)

Did you idiots learn nothing from when O'Reilly sued Franken?

Remember that? When Bill O'Reilly tried to sue Al Franken because Franken's book annoyed him, and it only had the effect of publicizing the book to the top of the bestseller lists? Yeah, I remember that too.

Unfortunately--at least for them--some anti-Obama "Birthers" seem to have missed that memo altogether. Specifically, one Joseph Farah and Jerome Corsi.

Farah is the CEO of WorldNetDaily.com, a shameful website that complains whenever someone suggests homosexuals are actual human beings (at other times, too) and promotes the nonsensical "war against Christmas" idea.

Corsi at least can say he's no anti-Obama come lately, as even before Obama was elected President, Corsi was comparing the then-Senator to Hitler. He was also one of those vulgar enough to say that when Obama flew to the side of his dying grandmother--who you know he loved very much if you read his books--he was really going to get his birth certificate.

Speaking of, Corsi wrote, and Farah published, the book Where’s the Birth Certificate? The Case That Barack Obama Is Not Eligible to Be President, and now:

...have filed suit against Hearst [corporation], Esquire magazine and writer Mark Warren over a satirical article that they say defamed them and damaged their business interests.

Warren published the article on May 18, 2011, just after Obama released his long-form birth certificate, answering the doubts of Corsi and other so-called birthers...“BREAKING! Jerome Corsi’s Birther Book Pulled From Shelves!”

Fellas, fellas, fellas: You've failed to learn from what G.B. Trudeau wrote in his book Flashbacks: 25 Years of Doonesbury:

Satire picks a one-sided fight, and the more its intended target reacts, the more its practitioner gains the advantage.

And so it was, later, as the Miller told his tale, that my face at first just ghostly turned a whiter shade of pale

Oh, my god. So help me, I'm actually starting to feel sorry for Dennis Miller. Like a lot of people, I used to think he was a pretty great comic; I liked him a lot.

I used to quote his lines very often, some I still do, like the one comparing therapists to hairstylists: "When I leave, my head looks great, an hour later I can't get it to look like that again." Even saw him live in San Francisco once--with a bonus walk-on performance by Robin Williams, yet.

But now? It's not just that he's no longer funny. It's not that his political vantage point has changed. It's that I fear for his sanity. And not for the first time. I noticed back in 2004, writing about his low-rated MSNBC show:

Miller treated his invited guest the way a sulky adolescent treats a chore he doesn’t want to do, like homework.

Then there's this post I wrote two or three years ago, saying of an appearance with Bill O'Reilly,

Watch this and tell me if at some moment you don't get the feeling you're watching a man who is literally out of his head.

Whether or not that's from drink and/or drugs or just his mind snapping from the sheer weight of his stupidity is not for me to say.

And most recently, like 15 minutes ago, I was trying to be brave and watch him on the Ferguson show. Literally the first words out of his mouth are an Anthony Weiner joke. Always on the cutting edge.

But then a little bit later he and Craig get to talking about some tour he's doing with the self-same O'Reilly. Craig throws a line about how they should do a set "like Martin & Lewis," with O'Reilly trying to sing straight and Miller cutting up the act with interruptions.

Ten seconds later (I swear to you), Miller says, "Oh, like Dino and Jerry." In other words, for ten full seconds, he'd had no idea what Ferguson was talking about. He totally spaced.

Now, granted that Dean and Jerry's peak was around the early '50s (give-or-take), when Miller was born. It'd be one thing if, like, some CW drama star named Brandon (they're all named Brandon) was not hip to the reference.

But for a 58-year-old man, a comedian, someone who was alive when the team was still working together as a duo to go up on that...well for me at least, that moves past sad through scary all the way up to spooky.

Then after Craig talked about how he prefers to avoid politics on his show for the most part (which is true), Miller's reaction was to take a couple of swipes at Nancy Pelosi. And just when I think that I couldn't dislike him any more, he takes a shot at Jonathan Winters. In fact, you know what I was saying about feeling sorry for him? Forget that.

I have to admit, I'm not terribly surprised...

...that Cars 2 has ended up being the first Pixar film to receive a "Rotten" rating from the Rotten Tomatoes site. Making a sequel to that first film was always going to be a dicey affair. It was by far their previously weakest, especially in terms of having a solid plot; it was pulled up mostly by some fine voice work (including by, I hate to say it, Larry the Cable Guy).

But, they had to stumble and fall eventually. I suppose I'm glad it was an attempt on a franchise that I don't care about. Rather than, say, a Ratatouille Deux.

Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice (UPDATED)

UPDATE:

Hmmmmm...a possible clue. Per her Facebook page, the great parodist--and, we hope, future Dancing With the Stars contestant--Julie Brown (of "The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun" fame) is in Hawaii.

Original post:

Todays "Who's searching for me now?" question:

Someone from a Hawaiian IP found this blog yesterday by Yahoo! searching "Ben A. Varkentine." That's the version of my name I use on Facebook, and I do have a friend on there who is currently "second honeymooning" in Hawaii. But she says it wasn't her, 'cos...she's second honeymooning, for crying out loud.

So I am left but to wonder.

It was probably President Obama. Or maybe Hewitt's on vacation again, and remembered the nice things I've said about her body.

A prediction: It is only a matter of time before Katy Perry starts making out with Marilyn Manson.

Then he can ruin her too.

this is where the classic phrase "running around like a rapist with your head cut off" comes from*

Woman walks through market holding severed head of man who tried to rape her

*Joke courtesy of Ed Crasnick. Used by kind permission.

I wonder what it's like to know that you pissed off the king of Hollywood.

Chilly, I would bet.

STEVEN SPIELBERG ORDERED MEGAN FOX TO BE FIRED AFTER 'HITLER' COMMENT

Ok so we reported a couple of days ago that Megan Fox apparently 'left' Transformers because director Michael Bay was over sexualising her and making her feel uncomfortable in her new role as America's sexiest woman.

...it was no surprise to learn that there may be more to this story, as apparently Michel Bay was told to fire Megan by executive producer [Spielberg] after some 'Hitler' comments that Megan was quoted as saying about Bay.

So what exactly did she say? Well in 2009 Fox told Wonderland magazine;

"He's like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation," she said. "He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he's not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he's so awkward, so hopelessly awkward."

To which Bay was reported as saying; "You know the Hitler thing, Steven said, ‘Fire her right now.'"

Fuck you, Green Lantern.

Ok, so, like, on 4chan somebody posted images from Saw III and made like it was some sort of "Take revenge on the Muslims" thing. I *think* they were trying to be funny. But in an attempt to one-up them and show what the images really were, somebody else on the thread linked to one of my posts, which is how I found out about this.

That's right. My Saw obsession is now being used to help spread truth and light throughout the world.

Ladies, I still say: If we can see your ribs, you're too skinny.

Thought upon seeing the new "Miss USA."

If you Google "dictionopolis in digitopolis nudity"...

......the first four results are all from this blog.

Fair enough, I suppose, but I do try to mix it up a bit.





Perhaps more oddly (or not), two of the posts are about Kate Winslet.

maura tierney update

You longtime readers know that I like to look in on Tierney from time to time, simply because she is TPWFMA.

So what's she up to these days? She'll be appearing in Three Hotels, by Jon Robin Baitz, at The Williamstown Theatre Festival in Mass.

Her co-star is Stephen Weber, best known to most from Wings, but to me from Jeffrey and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

I don't know the play, but based on their previous work, I would expect good things. Too bad I won't be able to see it unless my circumstances change drastically before the end of the month.

At any rate, there is your Maura Tierney Update. That is all.

In the Republican debate Monday night, Rick "man on dog" Santorum said this:

"You can look at my record. Not only have I been consistently pro-life, but I've ... taken the bullets to go out there and fight for this and lead on those issues."

You motherfucker. People on your side are actually shooting doctors to death and you're willing to mock that by casting yourself as some kind of red-state Superman? ("The bullets just bounce off my chest!)"

You utter, total and complete son of a bitch mockery of a human being.

(And BTW...if you're not familiar with ole' "man on dog," may I suggest you Google him? In fact...even if you are. Google him. Maybe Google him twice. Be sure to click on two or three of the results.)

Juste de temps à autre… je dois être rappelé ceci.

Sandra Lou -Banana split
Uploaded by benja21

That's okay, Anthony, I made a mistake too

I thought you were single.

You unbelieveable jackass.

Today's contestant comes to us from an Android on the T-Mobile USA network (which is also the network I use, BTW) in Springdale, Arkansas...

That's right, friends. It's another exciting episode of...

"Who's searching for me now?"

Beautiful.

"This is part of the problem with the way this has progressed and one of the reasons I was perhaps, you'll forgive me, a little stiff yesterday," [Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY)] said.

That's it. I want this man to run for president.

The Congressman is doing interviews with CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News to discuss the matter.

"I'm doing them in order of....something," he told reporters.

"Size," Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) said, interrupting him from nearby.

"That's what I didn't need right now," Weiner replied.

Can I ask something? Exactly what law would the Congressman have broken even if the picture is of him, and he did "tweet" it to that young woman? I don't believe he did, but if he had, so what? He's single. She's an adult.

I guess some might say it's creepy for an older man to pursue a much younger woman...but Newt Gingrich and John McCain better not be among them...

More fun with headlines

Billy Ray Cyrus Admits He Could Have Been a Better Father

Rest of country admits: We agree.

Somehow I just know that the funniest thing about this movie is going to be its existence

See if you can count the contradictions in this sentence: Rev. Ted Haggard will make a cameo as himself in a Christian sex comedy promoting abstinence, with the tagline "abstinence never felt so good."

Called The Waiting Game, the movie follows a schlub named Jack who's super excited about finally losing his virginity on his wedding night, but is foiled when his fiancee leaves him at the altar.

Rich Praytor, one of the producers, acknowledged the similarities between The Waiting Game and Virgin. "I love all the Judd Apatow movies -- '40 Year Old Virgin,' 'Knocked Up,' 'Superbad' -- they're all great," he told the Colarado Springs Gazette.

Sigh. Look, I've tried to tell you this before. Conservative republicans are not funny. There are no funny conservative republicans. They don't exist. Only people with a history of connections to unfunny things make conservative republican comedies.

Candace Cameron, of Full House fame, is also attached to the project as Jack's love interest.

Case in point.

Here now, a word from our (non) sponsor

My pal Corey Klemow is featured in this commercial. It was made for a contest that Chevy had, and took fifth place! Right now it's just on YouTube, but if it gets enough views, who knows where it could end up?

Oh, and Corey's the guy who answers the door.

On behalf of Jane Wiedlin*, I resent that

Sarah Palin gets to tell her side of things in an [self-produced] "epic," two-hour-long, $1 million movie that portrays her as a "Joan of Arc-like figure"

Joan of Arc? So they're saying she's a cross-dressing witch that hears voices in her head and believes she has a divine mission?

...yeah, I could see that.

BTW, the movies title is...The Undefeated.

The Undefeated?

Sarah Palin lost the election to be the vice-president. That was a defeat. Shouldn't it be...The Loser?

She also famously quit in the middle of her term as Alaska Governor. The Quitter?

The film argues that Palin took on powerful interests and won major accomplishments quickly,

Name three.

*To say nothing of Orchestral Maneuvers in The Dark.

Haven't done one of these for a while...

I'd like to recommend this NPR interview with Gretchen Morgenson, co-author of a new book upon the the financial crisis.

‎"Bridesmaids" might well be a great movie...

...but the commercials make it look like it was lit by the same people who do restroom florescents

Headlines that should have been rephrased

Thor Finishes On Top Of Bridesmaids

Okay. I don't really know who Mónica Farro is, but...

... I have my doubts about her having been born a woman.

I think I just found where I have to draw a line.

Okay. You know how there's been a lot of hand-wringing in recent years about how girls are dressing way too provocatively way too young?

And you know how the go-to shot at girls like that (and implied shot at the parents) is "You look like a whore? Right.



Look, between you, me and the lamppost, and as I referred to yesterday, I'd be a hypocrite if I said I don't care to look at young women in sexy clothes, and bras and things. (But then, I also enjoy seeing older women like that. My fantasy age range spreads from Kim Cattrall to Kristen Stewart.)



So, I don't really join in the "slutwear shaming." But...for pete's sake, Miley...

...she looks like she's playing Elisabeth Shue's role in a J-Pop version of Leaving Las Vegas...

What?

Okay, you know that instantly-iconic photo of President Obama & Co in the Situation Room, monitoring the taking out of Osama bin Laden in real time?

Yeah, this one:



Well, get this:

...the Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic broadsheet Der Tzitung, published in Brooklyn...photoshopped Clinton, as well at the only other woman who could be seen in the room--Audrey Tomason, the national director of counterterrorism--out of the frame.

Wait, it gets better. Why did they do this? Because ...

Hillary Clinton's expression, right hand clasped over her mouth in astonishment, is largely responsible for making the above photo iconic--and, to at least one newspaper, sexually suggestive.

Apparently this paper has a policy of never printing pictures of women, for precisely the same reason.

Now friends, you in my vast reading audience know...I don't have to look too far to find a situation or a picture sexually suggestive. I have a filthy mind with the best of 'em and I make little secret of it. But oh, my God...

This reminds us we have radical religions in this country too. It's also like the old saying: You're entitled to your opinion, but you're not entitled to your own facts.

Women were in the room at that moment. A woman is the freakin' Secretary of State. Another is national director of counterterrorism (I'd like to think she's a real life Chloe from the good seasons of 24). I presume they took no small part in the discussions that led to the President's decision.

As sexist as their policy may be (in fact, is), the editors and/or publishers have a right to that policy. They don't have the right to change history.

For those of you playing at home...

Andy Card is the guy who set up George W. Bush's "Mission Accomplished" thing. You remember that (and if you don't, follow that link). However, Card feels that President Obama has not shown nearly enough humility about the whole actually having taken out Osama bin Laden thing.

Ever see something that you know is supposed to be kinda sexy and/or funny, and yet...no?

This pisses me off

It's a story about how the movie Insidious has already been hugely profitable. That's not the part that pisses me off.

What pisses me off is that it takes them four paragraphs, 12 lines, and 160 words to mention either of the creative team that made the movie--and then when they do, they mention only one of them, and get his role in the partnership wrong:

In an interview with the List director Leigh Whannell says, " It's not that we're saying 'no sequels', it's just that we haven't put any thought into it because we're still so focussed on the release of this one and we're way too superstitious to talk about a sequel."

Sigh. Leigh Whannell is the writer of Insidious (and also plays a role in the film), not the director. His partner James Wan is the director.

(They also created and worked on the first three installments of a little film franchise I like to call... Saw. Which is probably al least part of why I'm touchy about seeing them properly credited, though I like to think I'm a stickler for proper credit in any case.)

Good going, Mr. President. I'm sure that you can expect an apology from the right any day now.

President Obama Releases Long Form Birth Certificate

The '40s really looked like the '40s

Son of a gun. This is actually kind of breathtaking. It's real, color home movie footage (reportedly taken by FDR's son -in-law).



I mean...Holy cow.

Buddhist Temple in Winter

The Star Wars Meme Trilogy Episode Three: Attack of the Memes

This is derived from a long meme I found on Becca's blog. She answered all 30 questions in one post; I think the original idea was to answer one a day for a month. I'm shooting for something in-between, breaking it down into three parts...which seemed appropriate.

This is part three.

21. Your favorite moment in Empire Strikes Back


22. Your favorite moment in Return of the Jedi

The Emperor tries and fails to corrupt Luke. As with the Yoda/Obi-Wan situation, it's very much a toss-up between this and the Sarlaac pit sequence.

23. Something you wished was different in the series

A. They wouldn't have replaced the animated Clone Wars with the CGI one.

B. Okay, the end of Return of the Jedi. Vader is watching the Emperor electrocute Luke and, we know, about to come back over to the light side of the force. Arguably, the whole series, including all the tie-ins, has been leading up to this. And it's played on an expressionless piece of dark plastic.

Every time I see this, I think the same thing: Why didn't they have Luke knock off part of Vader's helmet during their fight? Like, at least enough that we could see his eyes? That way, they would've been able to actually show Vader struggling with and overcoming his conflict.

Plus, think how dramatic an "unveiling" that would've been. Compared to the "Oh look, Darth Vader is really just a harmless-looking old man" unmasking that we did get. That's been bothering me for years.

C. Get rid of the stupid CGI character idea and cast a living actor as Jar-Jar Binks.

The actor? Jackie Chan.

D. Two words:

Ewok Jedi by ~Shadowbox on deviantART

24. A character you didn’t like in the series

The George Lucas who thought it was a good idea for Greedo to get off the first shot.

25. Your favorite book/series from the Expanded Universe


(book)

or


(series)

Funny thing is, both of these are spin-offs of other tie-ins (or vice versa) that don't appeal to me in the slightest.

26. Your favorite Obi-Wan Kenobi quote
Alec Guinness version:

"Mos Eisley spaceport: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

He deserved the Academy Award nomination for being able to speak that line alone.

Ewan McGregor version:

"So uncivilized..."

BTW, least favorite:

"Not even the younglings survived!"

That's the worst line in a movie most of the dialogue of which makes me want to perform a self-lobotomy with a spoon.

27. Your favorite Yoda quote
See "Favorite Quote" in Episode 2 of this Meme.

28. Your favorite Darth Vader quote:

Darth Maul: "What could you hate enough to destroy me?"

Darth Vader: "Me."


BTW, an aside: I didn't realize until I was coming up with these posts how many of my favorite scenes were the light saber fights.

But it fits in with what I think is one of the weaknesses of the prequels. In the original trilogy, those fights usually took place in the third act. There'd be at least one scene earlier in the film to establish what a light saber was, but the big battles were almost always saved to the end. I think they had much greater dramatic power that way.

In the prequels, though, Lucas was basically trapped by having established that they were the "elegant weapons of a more civilized age." It's hard for scenes like the "Duel of the Fates" in Ep. 1 to have as much impact, at least on me, when it feels like we've been watching light sabers waggle around for most of the past two hours.

29. Best Star Wars related story/incident you’ve had

When I was in high school, my best friend and I were watching Star Wars either on TV or on tape one day. We got to the scene where they’re briefing the X-Wing pilots before the attack on the Death Star, and these lines:

General: The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton torpedoes.
Wedge Antilles (Red 2): That's impossible! Even for a computer.

Then in perfect unison with Luke, I said "It's not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters."

And then looked up to see the strangest look on my friends face...


30. Why you love Star Wars

These past three posts notwithstanding...I'm not always sure that I do. As a fully-grown (allegedly) man, I acknowledge that Star Wars is far, far from perfect: The dialogue in the prequels and the awful padding in Return of the Jedi being particular pet peeves. To say nothing of the writing of the female characters.

I also think Lucas's motive at this point is almost completely greed. One of my pet theories about Star Wars characters and stories is that they get much better the less Lucas has to do with them.

Other writers are much, much better than he is at crafting compelling stories and presenting believable characters. Even in the crukking video game tie-ins. But this also applies to the movies themselves.

Look at Empire. By my readings, it seems to have been the film with which Lucas had the least to do...and 99% of fans, I think, would say it's the best.



BTW, speaking of Empire: I don't care about this video game. Never played it, or the original. So I don't care if there's a second sequel to the game.

But if there isn't a novel, graphic or otherwise, to wrap up the Empire-like loose ends left at the end of this storyline...ooh, I'm gonna be pissed.

On the other hand, of courses I love it first and foremost because I'm of the generation for whom it was all, really and truly, new.

Like a lot of us, I tend to get very protective of my first experiences of it (hence, "I will never call it "A New Hope').

It's also a way in which I bond with my nephew (the Jedi Ewoks were his idea).

I believe the word I'm looking for is "Booyeah."

Keli Goff on Gwyneth Paltrow. Excerpted below.

In an interview with Popeater, Paltrow addressed just why she believes she has so many critics by saying:

"I think my work ethic is the reason why I'm successful. I think that a lot of people don't want to put in effort and it's easier to not change, not do something good for you... [They're just] pissed off at someone else doing that. Everything in my life that's good is because I worked my ass off to get it and to maintain it."

In an age in which America's class-divide is greater than it's ever been, our patience has simply waned for the George W. Bush's and Gwyneth Paltrow's of the world -- people who were born on third base and act like they hit a triple. America was founded on the idea that everyone has equal opportunity to carve out their piece of the American Dream, but increasingly that's becoming less and less of a reality. And there's something infuriating about listening to people born into the Dream -- silver rattle in one hand, silver spoon in the other -- lecture the rest of us on how easy it is to obtain -- if we're just willing to "work our asses off" like they do.

It seems like there used to be an unspoken pact between those who were born into privilege and the rest of us to keep all out class warfare from breaking out. They would quietly go about spending their money in respectable, socially beneficial ways -- philanthropies and such -- and we wouldn't publicly point out that the only way they got their job, record deal, book deal, political appointment etc. was because of the last name of their parent or their spouse. But not only have people begun riding their families' coattails more publicly (Donald Trump, Paris Hilton, Tori Spelling, Ben Quayle, Megan McCain, George W. Bush, Jenna Bush, Ms. Paltrow, the list goes on), but it's become par for the course for these same people to dismiss allegations of nepotism out of turn, which would be funny if most people weren't too busy trying to figure out how to pay for college to laugh.

I think I love every bit of this.

Stunningly evocative.