Today's contestant comes to us from an Android on the T-Mobile USA network (which is also the network I use, BTW) in Springdale, Arkansas...

That's right, friends. It's another exciting episode of...

"Who's searching for me now?"

Beautiful.

"This is part of the problem with the way this has progressed and one of the reasons I was perhaps, you'll forgive me, a little stiff yesterday," [Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY)] said.

That's it. I want this man to run for president.

The Congressman is doing interviews with CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News to discuss the matter.

"I'm doing them in order of....something," he told reporters.

"Size," Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) said, interrupting him from nearby.

"That's what I didn't need right now," Weiner replied.

Can I ask something? Exactly what law would the Congressman have broken even if the picture is of him, and he did "tweet" it to that young woman? I don't believe he did, but if he had, so what? He's single. She's an adult.

I guess some might say it's creepy for an older man to pursue a much younger woman...but Newt Gingrich and John McCain better not be among them...

More fun with headlines

Billy Ray Cyrus Admits He Could Have Been a Better Father

Rest of country admits: We agree.

Somehow I just know that the funniest thing about this movie is going to be its existence

See if you can count the contradictions in this sentence: Rev. Ted Haggard will make a cameo as himself in a Christian sex comedy promoting abstinence, with the tagline "abstinence never felt so good."

Called The Waiting Game, the movie follows a schlub named Jack who's super excited about finally losing his virginity on his wedding night, but is foiled when his fiancee leaves him at the altar.

Rich Praytor, one of the producers, acknowledged the similarities between The Waiting Game and Virgin. "I love all the Judd Apatow movies -- '40 Year Old Virgin,' 'Knocked Up,' 'Superbad' -- they're all great," he told the Colarado Springs Gazette.

Sigh. Look, I've tried to tell you this before. Conservative republicans are not funny. There are no funny conservative republicans. They don't exist. Only people with a history of connections to unfunny things make conservative republican comedies.

Candace Cameron, of Full House fame, is also attached to the project as Jack's love interest.

Case in point.