I'm proud now to introduce a new series, which I intend to call: Headlines That Could've been a Lot Funnier, with a Little Rewriting.
Case in point:
Now, if they'd just gone for the word "Unloads"...
House Speaker John Boehner (R., Ohio) said Thursday that he would not agree to another temporary extension of federal government funding at current levels, upping the stakes in the debate over federal spending.
“Read my lips: We’re going to cut spending...
The phrase “Read my lips” is rarely heard in politics since George H. W. Bush used it during the Republican National Convention in 1988 to emphasize that he wouldn’t raise taxes — something he did as president to shrink the deficit.
Bush had gotten in some trouble because he had refused categorically to rule out a tax increase in terms as adamantine as Reagan's. Bush tried to wiggle out of press conferences where this came up: "No more nit-picking. Zippity doo-dah. Now it's off to the races," was his parting shot as he sought to exit one press conference where he was being grilled.
Boehner: 'It's A Zippity-Do-Da Day!'
That's what Speaker Boehner told one of our reporters as he was walking into a meeting of his caucus a short time ago.
"As hours pass and the uncertainty builds, I think the market is starting to price in the potential that we might not have a solution by August 2," the deadline for raising the U.S. debt limit, said Channing Smith, managing director of Capital Advisors Inc. "Confidence in our political system is beginning to fade."
What If Everyone Understood Today What Roseanne Understood Then?
I think you mean what if everyone understood today what Jeff Abugov, Joel Madison and Ron Nelson knew then. They're the ones who actually wrote the episode.
Roseanne, do you know who the fuck Ben A. Varkentine is?
if you read the comments--one guy says that the three writers whose names are on the script wrote the lines, but that isn't how tv works at all--people get their names on a script according to a ledger--when it's their turn to get their names on a script--the roseanne show was written by at least fifteen people each script--and then I added jokes and thoughts and scenes to it and it was sent back and "gang punched up"...
--so this guy ben k.v. who thinks he knows something --quite simply knows nothing.
Nice try though, boy--always trying to separate the woman from her work.
It's ironic, but I really think you can trace the decline of this show by how much power Roseanne had over her character.
In the first years, Roseanne Conner is a strong, funny, loving woman. At the end, she's controlling, grim, and hateful.
With pressure mounting on Congress and the White House to ensure the government doesn't default on its debt, the latest Democratic offering shows just how much party leaders have compromised during the negotiations as Republicans have held their ground. For weeks, Democrats demanded that any substantial package include revenues to offset spending cuts, namely by closing corporate tax loopholes and ending subsidies for the oil and gas industry. But their demands have now been whittled away to a proposal coming from their own party with major cuts and no revenue at all.
Republicans, meanwhile, have largely gotten what they wanted in their push for significant spending cuts without new revenue.