Piranha 3-D is a lowest-common-denominator B-movie

By which I mean: You know how I can take the Saw movies seriously and defend my love for them on an intellectual level (and will, at the drop of a hat)?

This is not that kind of movie. This is the kind of movie the only reason to make is to have fun with it (if you dismiss the cynical motive).

And few of the surprisingly A-list stars--among them Elisabeth Shue,
Jerry O'Connell, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott, Jessica Szohr, Christopher Lloyd and Richard Dreyfuss--seem likely to have needed the money.

(Ok, maybe Dreyfuss.)

So I can only surmise that's why they wanted to make it--for the fun.

Some movies that are fun to watch were not fun to make, and vice-versa. I hope this one was both, but I can only speak from once side of the screen.

I haven't seen the Roger Corman-produced "cult classic," to which I guess this is technically the second sequel, but I'm told that Steven Spielberg thought that original Piranha movie, directed by Joe Dante and released in 1978, was the best of the Jaws ripoffs.

Supposedly that's why he hired Dante to direct a segment of Twilight Zone: The Movie (which was crap, but Dante's was far from the worst of it).

The point is that this movie (directed by Alexandre Aja) has to be at least that good. The only real question to ask about a film like this (or really any) is: Does it work? The answer is yes, it works very well indeed.

Before we conclude I have a quick observation and a brief question. The observation: If Piranha 3-D doesn't get Rhames an Oscar, there is no god.

Now the question: When did the "Flower Duet From Lakme" become de rigueur music for lesbian scenes?

Now back to our entry: There's something to be said about a movie that is exactly, completely, and totally what it is. Piranha 3-D is a lowest-common-denominator B-movie...but it's a good lowest-common-denominator B-movie.

(Even if one--admittedly minor--character does disappear without us ever knowing what happened to him. I'm assuming he was bitten to death off-screen, or in a cut scene which will be added to the DVD)

Dems: What the fuck are you doing?

...scuse me...I have a question I'd like to ask the Democrats...it's in regards to the Mosque thing (which isn't actually a Mosque, and isn't...oh, skip it). The question is this: What the fuck are you doing?

There are few freedoms more central to who we are, or who some of us still think we're supposed to be, than the freedom of religion (or the reverse, freedom from religion, but that's a whole other what-the-fuck-are-you-doing for another frustrating day).

And instead of standing that ground and making that case, you're reacting to people who are, flatly, stupid and racist. As though they were neither.

What the fuck are you doing?

Why is it that when they're worried about an election Republicans run to the right, and Democrats run to the right?

Ahem.

Me, in this blog, on Friday, April 23, 2010:

A young [actress] named Rooney Mara ... bears watching as an up-and-comer.

E! Online yesterday:

Rooney Mara just landed the role of a lifetime as Lisbeth Salander in the much-hyped American version of Stieg Larsson's novel The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. She's set to star alongside Daniel Craig and Robin Wright in the cult favorite book-turned-flick.

She's also got a leading role in the forthcoming Social Network movie, with a screenplay by some unknown named Aaron Sorkin.

Don't tell me I don't know an actress to watch when I see one.

I should also mention that in the case of the audio items...I will gladly accept iTunes gifts.

Ahem. So. In two weeks I will be 39. I intend for this to be the last birthday I will ever acknowledge (it's a Jack Benny thing). So if you've yet to commemorate the date of my birth, or if it's been quite some time, this could well be your last chance.

Do you want to go to your grave knowing you never expressed your affection for me in some material way? I wouldn't think so. So what can you do about it? Funny you should ask.

Look over to your right and you'll find a list of over 20 suggestions--some of them quite reasonably priced.

(The last couple of years or so I've done "countdowns" on my blogs but I don't think I want to do that this year--perhaps mostly because I couldn't think of one...)

Am I the only person who thinks he's wrong about that?

A woman identified as an anti-war protester hit U.S. Sen. Carl Levin in the face with an apple pie during the Armed Services Committee chairman's meeting with constituents in northern Michigan, authorities said Monday.

Big Rapids police arrested Ahlam M. Mohsen, 22, of Coldwater, on assault and disorderly conduct charges. She has no listed telephone number.

Mohsen told the Big Rapids Pioneer she hoped "to send a message that liberals and Democrats are just as implicated in the violence (of war) as the Republicans."

Levin appeared to take the pie toss in stride.

"They didn't hurt me, but they hurt their cause even more than their own extreme words had already done," he said in a statement Monday afternoon.

Oh, really?