Easter is a festival of overwhelming joy.
The joy that celebrates life.
Happy Easter, everybody!
The trouble with my generation is that we all think we're fucking geniuses. Making something isn't good enough for us, and neither is selling something, or teaching something, or even just doing something. We have to be something. It's our inalienable right, as citizens of the twenty-first century. If Christina Aguilera or Britney or some American Idol jerk can be something, then why can't I? Where's mine, huh? OK, so my band, we put on the best live shows you could ever see in a bar, and we made two albums, which a lot of critics and not many real people liked. But having talent is never enough to make us happy, is it? I mean, it should be, because a talent is a gift, and you should thank God for it, but I didn't. It just pissed me off because I wasn't being paid for it, and it didn't get me on the cover of Rolling Stone.
Oscar Wilde once said, "One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead." Well fucking right on, Oscar. My real life was full of headlining shows at Wembley and Madison Square Garden and platinum records, and Grammys, and that wasn't the life I was leading, which is maybe why it felt like I could throw it away. The life I was leading didn't let me be, I don't know...be who I thought I was. It didn't even let me stand up properly. It felt like I'd been walking down a tunnel that was getting narrower and narrower, and darker and darker, and had started shipping water, and I was all hunched up, and there was a wall of rock in front of me and the only tools I had to use were my fingernails.
I'll never forget expressing my admiration for what he'd done in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex...-a groundbreaking 1972 comedy.
Woody listened to my compliments on the use of the actors as sperm about to be ejaculated in a "parachute jump" sequence, but then interrupted. "Now, look. Your comments are nice, but a total waste of time. I already know what I did in that movie. It is behind me. What I need from you is 'input' that has nothing to do with me. I am wide-open for other stimuli, for what's happening, what's going on now. Tell me things I don't know. Talk about yourself, your life. Do some of those tales about when you and Joel [Schumacher] were living together and how you did all those bad 'little kid' things to get attention. But don't talk about me and my past work. I don't get anything out of that!"
The story so far:
Studio 60, written by Aaron Sorkin, premieres; does poorly in ratings.
30 Rock, the similarly titled, similarly themed series starring and written by Tina Fey, premieres; does poorly in the ratings.
Studio 60 sinks beneath the waves with nary a trace, to be replaced by The Black Donnellys, which is quickly cancelled.
In a bitter irony, NBC announces plans to replace it with a reality series of the kind which Studio 60 regularly skewered.
30 Rock, however, remains on the air; receives second season order.
You may well be asking yourself, as I was: Whycome?
My first theory was that 30 Rock has a "Godfather" (Lorne Michaels) looking out for it. I also considered the possibility that Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip's highfalutin' attitude (Gilbert and Sullivan? On the second show?) may not have been appreciated by "the suits."
To say nothing of the aforementioned skewering of the kinds of shows that NBC is just praying will get them more shows in the top 20 than Deal Or No Deal.
All of these may have been factors. But the Washington Post's Lisa de Moraes has discerned another...
...season to date, "30 Rock" is averaging 2.7 percent of the country's audience of 18-to-49-year-olds. That's the age bracket advertisers pay a premium to reach and NBC therefore targets with its entertainment series.
"Studio 60" is averaging only 3.6 percent of the audience in that age bracket.
Well, how about this: "30 Rock's" overall audience, season to date, is a solid 5.8 million viewers, NBC says in its announcement.
"Studio 60's" season-to-date overall audience is just 8.5 million.
[Crickets.] Upscale -- "30 Rock" is very upscale. NBC likes upscale. According to NBC, "30 Rock" is one of the most upscale comedies on television. In fact, NBC says, it rates 28 percent higher among adults 18-49 living in homes with $100,000-plus incomes than it rates among all adults 18-49.
"Studio 60"? Well, "Studio 60" rates 28 percent higher among adults 18-49 living in homes with $100,000-plus incomes than it rates among all adults 18-49.
Now that it's become so transparent why one show got picked up but not the other, it's barely worth mentioning that NBC Universal 2.0 owns "30 Rock" but not "Studio 60" -- that's owned by Warner Bros.
As I said last October, I was prepared to be philisophical should S60 in fact be cancelled because not enough Nielsen viewers were watching. Even the best television show is, in the end, just a television show, I said; let's not do this like it was a member of the family who died.
(Although frankly, I'll have more right to complain than those whiny brats who said seven years of Buffy and five of Angel wasn't "a fair chance")
But for Studio 60 to go and 30 Rock to make it because of this kind of favoritism and not simply because more people wanted to watch it...that pisses me off.
Leah Vader and Lynne Huskinson, a lesbian couple who got married in Canada last August, sent a letter recently to their state legislator decrying a Wyoming bill that would deny recognition of same-sex marriages. The lawmaker read the letter on the floor of the Legislature.
Soon after, the local paper interviewed the couple on Ash Wednesday and ran a story and pictures of them with ash on their foreheads, a mark of their Roman Catholic faith.
It wasn't long after that that the couple received a notice from their parish church telling them they have been barred from receiving Communion.
The two men were in an Infiniti that collided head-on with a GMC Yukon around 2:30 a.m. PST, said Lt. Paul Vernon, a police spokesman. The driver of the other car was under the influence of alcohol and was driving without a license, Vernon said.
...was the Pulp Fiction of its day inasmuch as it altered the notion of what could be put onscreen in the name of entertainment, and its influence could be felt in lesser works for years to come.
Now, lest you think this silly little poll doesn't really make a difference, let me remind you that our Save One Show campaign has a solid track record, having successfully rescued five out of six winning shows. And if I had a nickel for every time a castmember or producer told me our SOS singlehandedly saved them...well, I bet I'd have a whole dollar.
...apparently, he's right. It is a safe place to walk, just as long as you're accompanied by a hundred armed soldiers, you have three Blackhawk helicopters and two Apache gunships nearby, and you're wearing a bulletproof vest.
Do we think this proves anything? About Iraq, I mean. I know it proves something about John McCain. I guess what it proves about Iraq is that we need to commit to staying there forever and sending enough troops and equipment so that anyone who needs to go buy a basket of strawberries is escorted by a hundred armed soldiers, three Blackhawk helicopters and two Apache gunships. Oh — and they'll need that bulletproof vest, too.
Britney Spears picked as 'most foolish American of 2007'
Americans have declared rehab-attending, panty-shedding, head-shaving Britney Spears as the most foolish American of 2007.
She was followed by Paris Hilton and Michael Jackson.
Government leaders did well, too, including President Bush at No. 4, Vice President Dick Cheney at No. 6 and disgraced former Rep. Mark Foley at No. 9. Crazy-in-love astronaut Lisa Nowak was No. 8. Others in the top 10 are O.J. Simpson, Mel Gibson and comedian Michael Richards.
The eighth annual survey of 1,000 adults was sponsored by New York publicist Jeff Barge.
Now...Britney Spears is a young woman who never had much vocal talent, and whose career was built primarily on promoting and exploiting her underdressed and overexposed sex parts. We're all clear on that, right?
Just as clearly, she has certain issues that she really needs to treat, one way or another. How many of those issues come from having built a career on promoting and exploiting her underdressed and overexposed sex parts is an open question.
And Paris Hilton is famous for being Paris Hilton and for making sex tapes.
My point is, even given all of the above, do either of them really deserve to be on the same list as-
-much less ahead of them on a list of who's behaved most foolishly in the past year?
Gosh, I love the priorities of Americans...