Things You Don't Need To Know

From William Knoedelseder's book on stand-up comics:

Alison Arngrim had a secret crush on Jay Leno and thought he had a really cute butt.

Things you don't need to know.

If you're anything like me, you've been wondering about this:

Where can I find video of a young woman rocking a ukulele to "Don't Let's Start" by They Might Be Giants?

Wonder no further.

Jay Leno is the Host of the Tonight Show. Jay Leno Has Always Been The Host of the Tonight Show.

NBC has removed virtually all traces of The Tonight Show w/Conan OBrien from their websites.

Obviously this isn't revisionism on as disturbing a scale as, say, attempts by republicans to act as though George W.'s presidency never existed (though lord knows, I understand the temptation).

But still: Way to stay classy, NBC.

FWIW, I'm on Colin Hay's side in this

A judge has decided that the flute riff in Men At Work's "Down Under" was plagiarised from the old song "Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree."

Men at Work's Colin Hay has issued an angry statement calling the Down Under plagiarism case "opportunistic greed".

To my mind (and ear), he's right. Musical riffs "quote" others all the time, and usually it's just a way, some wittier than others, to give an attentive listener a little treat. This is not the same thing as plagiarism.

"When I co-wrote Down Under back in 1978, I appropriated nothing from anyone else's song.

"There was no Men At Work, there was no flute, yet the song existed. That's the truth of it, because I was there, Norm Lurie was not, and neither was Justice Jacobson," wrote an emotional Hay.

Okay, this is not so funny anymore

You know how I like to occasionally riff on the odd search terms that lead people to this blog? Taking note of how high it is in the Google ranking and such?

Well, I just learned that we're number five for the search (and I'm going to alter this to discourage further searches, but you'll get the idea):

b0yhunt3r ch1ld v3ry y0ung b0y k1d g@y f0t0

The reason for this is that they're combining material from several of my posts, one about the Make-A-Wish Foundation, one of my "name that horror movie" posts, an entry on Ted Nugent and my review of the premiere of Greek.

Still...delightful, isn't it?

That's a real good way to lose my vote, folks

I've been getting robo-calls lately in which local teachers urge me to support a couple of "levies" coming up in an election here that they say will keep funding for schools. OK, so maybe it will.

But I just heard on my voicemail from yesterday one of those robocalls recorded by a fucking child. I don't care whether I agree with the cause or not, that's exploitation. What's more, it reeks of desperation. To say nothing of manipulation.

This has more twists than...well, a Saw movie.

Okay, follow along with me now.

1. Writer/director James Wan and writer/actor Leigh Whannell create Saw, released in 2004.

2. Saw makes millions of dollars, becomes the most profitable horror franchise of all time.

3. In 2009, the sixth film in the series gets the best reviews since the original.

4. But gets beaten up and has its lunch money stolen by an upstart called Paranormal Activity.

5. Saw VI director Kevin Greutert is hired to direct Paranormal Activity 2.

6. But the distributors and producers of the Saw films activate a clause in his contact, obligating him to direct VII instead.

7. The team that made Paranormal Activity signs a deal "to finance and produce low-budget genre pics."

8. Their first to be written and directed by...Leigh Whannell and James Wan.

Been following the James O’Keefe thing?

If so, I bet I know what you've been saying. I bet you've been saying, if only he were a racist, too...

Well, guess what.

He's a racist, too.

H/T Blue Gal.

PS: You can well imagine my pleasure at learning there is also a connecton to utterly creepy conservative John Derbyshire, with whom you shouldn't trust your pubescent daughter.

Things you should know about the modern GOP

Republican National Committee official says more GOP outreach to women is necessary because “women sometimes need a little more hand-holding.”

Conan O'Brien, the clown with heart

Conan Paying Crew Severance Out Of Pocket: TMZ

...the NBC deal didn't go far enough and now Conan is paying for staff severance out of his own pocket.

TMZ reports that Conan's "Tonight Show" stagehands were not covered in his exit package, so he has promised to pay the nearly 50-person crew "at least six weeks severance out of his own pocket."

The crew union is "very happy" with Conan's handling of the situation, TMZ reports.

Joe Lieberman: Proof positive that all Jews are not funny

From his speech last night at the Alfalfa Club:

As you may recall, I was Al Gore’s running mate in 2000. A lot of pundits said he picked me because I was willing to criticize Bill Clinton.

But by those standards, he should have picked Hillary!

There was some controversy from my Senate Democratic colleagues that at the same time I was running as vice president with Al, I was also running for reelection to the Senate.

When John Edwards heard about it, he said to me, “Isn’t that like two-timing?”

I’m going to reach out to people who disagree with me. The only nomination I know for certain is Keith Olberman, whom I plan to make Secretary of Interior . . . in hopes he’ll get lost in a national park.

On foreign affairs, I understand what Guantanamo has come to mean in world opinion. But we can fix that, without closing Guantanamo.

All we have to do is change its name. How about calling it the Richard B. Cheney Resort and Rehabilitation Spa?

I bet the water sports will be really great.

I could speculate here upon what he thinks "water sports" actually means...but no, can't talk, too busy w/sides splitting...

This has gotta be a metaphor.

For what, I don't know.

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