Saturday, July 14, 2007
After being immortalized by the Poppies in this song, comics writer Alan Moore sent them a letter ending with the words:
`about nine-nil down with a few minutes to play, since you ask..."
Madonna around 1990, right? It's supposed to-that's a professional Madonna lookalike. But according to this site, the kids in the picture are from the Make- A - Wish foundation. Well, we all know the good work that the Make- A - Wish foundation does...telling children with terminal illnesses that they're going to meet Madonna and then giving them a lookalike.
If that's not a metaphor for life, with or without terminal illness, I don't know what is.
The powers that were saw no irony in programming a night of counselor Jell-O wrestling within a couple of days of a somber Holocaust memorial observance, complete with madatory screenings of the Holocaust documentary Night and Fog.
...I am definitely proud to be a Jew. If my fond memories of Miriam Zalinsky's boob slipping out during Jell-O wrestling had some subconcious influence on that, then the American Jewish experiement is working, though in weirder ways than anyone could have possibly expected.
And then there was Jennifer Grey's original, beautiful Jewish schnoz, emerging from the screen sloped but firm like one of the stamen in a Georgia O'Keefe painting, both phallic and feminine all at once.
...from the book Bar Mitzvah Disco, a must-see even if you're not Jewish but just grew up in the the '80s, like me. Beside stories like the above, it also contains photographic evidence of the things people will do for Bar Mitzvah boys.
Things like rigging up one o' them fakey magazine cover deals. Things like this:
Things that are deeply, deeply, deeply wrong.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Jazz police are talking to my niece, Jazz police have got their final orders, Jazzer, drop your axe, it's Jazz police!
...at least we can rest easy knowing we have driven him into the arms of the twin demons of Pink and Kelly Clarkson.
No no, please don't throw me in that briar patch, Brer Fox.
Sorkin on 'Trial' at DreamWorks
Duo to team on possible Spielberg project
By MICHAEL FLEMING, MICHAEL FLEMING, PAMELA MCCLINTOCK
DreamWorks has made a deal with Aaron Sorkin to write three films, the first of which will be "The Trial of the Chicago 7," a drama Steven Spielberg hopes to direct.
The drama focuses on the trials of protestors at the 1968 Democratic convention in Chicago, where clashes between demonstrators and police made it one of the defining events of the '60s.
Spielberg and producers Walter Parkes and Laurie MacDonald have been developing the project with Sorkin for some time.
Sorkin most recently adapted the George Crile book "Charlie Wilson's War" into the Playtone-produced, Mike Nichols-directed film that's set for release Dec. 25.
I really hope she turns out to be like a Lauren Graham, or even a Keri Russell. And not like...(insert the name of the first falling-star diva that comes to your mind here). It seems to me, in a very presumptious way from only having seen her on television and in movies, that in a couple of years when the Potter movies are done, her career could go either way.
I'd like to think she's got it in her to become one of those women known for being a good actress (in a variety of roles) and for being cute and sexy, like Graham and Russell. Encouraging news is that so long as she's sensible with what she's already got, she'll certainly never have to take a job just for the money...
Time will tell, as they say.
C. Basic Instinct
D. Wes Craven's New Nightmare
E. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
F. Scream 2
G. Sleepaway Camp
H. Friday the 13th Part 2
I. Friday the 13th Part III
J. Cherry Falls
K. Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland
L. Jason X
M. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning
1. A bitchy girl is assaulted with a curling iron...where no woman wants a curling iron.
2. A head gives head.
3. Before being sucked through a grate into the vacuum of space, a picturesque young woman declares, "This sucks on so many levels!"
4. Having just acquired something iconic, the rampaging murderer shoots someone in the eye with a spear gun.
5. A crippled guy gets a machete in the face; then goes bouncing in his wheelchair down about three flights of outdoor stairs...
6. In a movie with a "mystery" killer, the person who will eventually be "revealed" as the culprit stares right into the camera. We hear a low, deep, synthesized note on the soundtrack. Viewers spend the rest of the movie saying "Who could the killer be? Who?"
7. A young girl trapped in a garage with a killer tries to escape by pulling herself through a pet door, but gets stuck and the killer activates the door...
8. The star of the film-who allegedly looks like me-is slowly swallowed up to their waist by a not-at-all disturbingly phallic version of the murderer in the form of a giant snake.
9. In a rare truly surprising scene, a horror movie expert is killed in mid phone-taunt.
10. A father asks his teenage daughter just how much she's done with boys, and encourages her to do more.
11. The murderer cheerfully informs her most recent, and large-breasted, victim: "Good thing you're dead 'cause in a couple of years your breasts would have been sagging something terrible."
12. A usually mouthy, jokey killer appears silently behind their next victim, but only a terrified child can see them...
13. A yummy, nude blonde brutally murders her sex partner mid-act.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Which awesome David Lynch Movie are you?
Truth is I'm not much of a David Lynch fan...for a number of reasons. Perhaps chief among them is that I don't think he'd know a story if it bit him in the neck (also see my thoughts on Tim Burton).
I've been known to opine that his films are not about telling stories but about reaching out and jerking-off obsessive film student types.
I'm also disturbed by what I perceive as a fear if not hatred of women running through his films that I have seen, including this one.
What did these men say or do? Well, she was dressed for a costume party as the super heroine Black Canary, in fishnets and a black leotard. By her own description, the men on the elevator greeted her with a laugh, asked where she was going, and when she told them, asked if they could go. She declined and got off the elevator at her floor.
They didn’t say anything foul, they certainly didn’t touch me, and it wasn’t even close to harassment by the standards of our society.
So great then, right? Uh-uh. Because she then writes about 400 more words about "the patriarchal imperative to judge women primarily by their physical appearance," and how that is extremely unpleasant. And equates the men's remarks with yelling "show your tits" out a car window or groping a woman on a train.
I don't get it. I'll take the heat for this. Even though another undercurrent of the entry (and Deborah's) is that men are not allowed to criticize women, women are only allowed to criticize men. And you know how I love that attitude.
But sometimes I have what I think I'll start calling "bullhorn moments." That's when I'm looking at something that seems to me to have a whole lot of bullshit in it, and start wishing I could pop into a scene and cut through it with a few words on a bullhorn.
Like when I see pundits talking around and around in circles about how or why George W. Bush has done something.
"BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES IS A LIAR AND A CRIMINAL. THAT'S WHAT HE DOES, IT'S WHO HE IS."
Or, in this case:
"YOU WERE DRESSED IN A COSTUME THAT WAS DESIGNED TO APPEAL TO THE ADOLESCENT SEXUAL FANTASIES OF 11-YEAR-OLD BOYS."
And I find myself wondering: Is it supportive of patriarchal harassment to say I feel it's somewhere between confusing and hypocritical to then fly into high dudgeon because you are assessed on your appearance?
Is there anything those guys could have said in that situation that would not have been construed as harassment? Not even a "You look very nice?
Is the appropriate response to someone wearing such clothing no response at all?
If so, why does one wear it?
(One or two of these questions are anticipated in the women's original blog entries. The answer, apparently, is that to question women is to blame women, who are free from responsibility.)
But then, again, I know it's my problem. I think of women as confident and strong-perhaps even more so when they're dressed in ways that indisputably invite comment on and assessment of their appearance.
Not only then (absolutely not only then), but perhaps even more so. To me, a woman wearing such a costume is sending a not terribly coded message. That message is something like: "I think I have nice legs-nice enough to make this costume work." There may even be an implied "What do you think?" attached, but not necessarily.
That message is not (he said, spelling something out he hoped would be self-evident, in the interest of preventing misunderstanding) "I invite you to talk dirty to/grope/rape me."
Things like this make me just a little bit angry. Not because I think men should be able to say or do anything they want to women.
I'd like to repeat that, again because I fear a jumping to conclusion.
I do not think men should be able to say or do anything they want to women.
I just hate being reminded that, as confident and strong as I like to think of women, some of them apparently see themselves as scared fragile little flowers who must be protected at all times.
Even the ones who like to dress up as super heroines.
Or, to put it another way: Would the real Black Canary give two shits about what a couple of nameless guys said on an elevator?
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
If you read only one detective novel about a murdered shepherd told from the perspective of his sheep, translated from the German and written by a woman who looks like Emily Watson's twin this decade, this should be the one.
If that doesn't get you to read the review, and I hope the book, I don't know what will. I'm talking about Three Bags Full: A Sheep Detective Story by Leonie Swann. BTW, this is Leonie Swann:
And this is Emily Watson.
Do I lie?
That's what he told me.
I say, this is a photo of Kylie in a waitress uniform with calve-high, lace-up, leather boots on.
Priorities, man, priorities.
A Newsweek poll taken 7/2-3/07 finds approval of President Bush at 26%, disapproval at 65%, unchanged from Newsweek's previous poll done 6/18-19. With the addition of the Newsweek poll, the trend estimate stands at 27.9%.
This Newsweek poll was completed on the day the commutation of Scooter Libby's prison sentence was announced, so most respondents were interviewed before that news broke. With the 4th of July holiday interrupting most polling operations, new approval ratings taken entirely after the commutation will only become available this coming week.
Four of the six most recent polls (including two by Newsweek) are typically below trend, with two tending to fall above trend. It will be revealing to see some new polls from those with typically positive "house effects". While those could be as high as 33%, given my current trend estimate, we should expect Gallup to fall between 29% and 31%, given current trends and Gallup's typical house effect. ABC/WP who hasn't been heard from in a while might be expected at 29-32. It will be revealing if either comes in below (or more surprisingly, above) those ranges.
Can we impeach them nooooooooooooooooooooooooow?
But wouldn't you just know it: He's the only rock star I've ever seen in an airport? It was in Detroit, on one of my trips to or from Tennessee. It's not like I was expecting to see Neil or Chris from Pet Shop Boys, but Ted Nugent?
C'mon, man-it may not be completely my style but as arena rockers go, Pete Townsend or Eric Clapton would've been impressive. Alice Cooper, Areosmith, ZZ Top or David Lee Roth would've been fun and given me something to "brag" about. I'd even have settled for a member or two of Motley Crue.
But no, I gotta see Ted Nugent.
Oh, so you wanna know what brought this on? Turns out a few months back Nugent wrote a commentary for a newspaper calling for the excecution of any and all child molesters. Well, great! Few things give me the creeps as much.
(I haven't even been able to figure out how to post about a recent horiffic re-twisting of Oedipus.)
But here's the thing: Ted Nugent calling for child molesters to be brought to justice...
- Is like the GOP calling for the sanctity of marriage
- It's like Bush speaking out against dirty politics
- It's like China advising abstenince
- It's like someone from California laughing at somebody for being too "new age"
- It's like someone from NYC criticising another city's smell (I've heard)
- It's like someone moving from Oklahoma to the middle of nowhere.
Because as Mark Kleiman reminds us...
Reportedly Nugent admitted/bragged about multiple sexual encounters with minors in his interview with Behind the Music. On the same show, Nugent explained how he persuaded the parents of his seventeen-year-old girlfriend to make him her legal guardian on the theory that this would allow him to bang her with impunity. There was apparently more discussion of that incident in "The 100 Sleaziest Moments in Rock" in Spin sometime in 2000, but I can't find a link. Courtney Love reportedly told Howard Stern that she gave Nugent oral sex when she was 12 and he was 28.
David couldn't find a link, but I remember both the episode and the article-I've still got that issue of Spin around here someplace. The above description is accurate.
Remember the Nebraska judge who banned the word 'rape' during a rape case?
Well the alleged rape victim is having none of it."I refuse to call it sex, or any other word that I'm supposed to say, encouraged to say on the stand, because to me that's committing perjury. What happened to me was rape, it was not sex."
It's where I found out that Disney's little Princess actually had quite an adult sense of humor. I fell in love.
But anyway, I'm enjoying revisiting the early days of my conversion. Then during a commmercial break Logo, the nominally gay network, runs a little "news break" about the recent revelation that a "Sex and the City" movie is indeed in the works.
In the course of announcing this, the newswoman refers to Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda as...
"The original fab four."
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Bride Attacks Groom With Stiletto Shoe
Scottish bride Teresa Brown's dream of a perfect wedding day probably did not include attacking the groom with her stiletto shoe and spending the weekend in a cell.
Police arrested the 33-year-old in the couple's hotel room in April while her wedding reception continued downstairs, prosecutor Alan Townsend said Tuesday at Aberdeen Sheriff Court. She spent the rest of her wedding weekend in a cell.
There's more...if you can take much more.
And I'll tell ya, somewhere my girl Kirsty is putting her feet up for a laugh and a drink, and singing...
(the way she dances, it's a scandal)
Then I met an Englishman
"Oh" he said
"Won't you walk up and down my spine,
It makes me feel strangely alive."
I said "In these shoes?
"I doubt you'd survive."
I said "Honey, let's do it.
Let's stay right here."
Seattle (imagine my pride):
Looks like the aftermath of one of my parties.
Protests like these strike me as a triumph of form over substance...but it's ok, I'm into that sort of thing...I'm the '80s man after all.
More here, here and here.
Monday, July 09, 2007
I suppose some of the fraternity brothers are cute, too, but I wouldn't know about that kind of thing.
More importantly the actors, including Grammer and Scott Michael Foster as her ex, seem to be having fun with what they're given. So did I, on balance.
And I gotta give the writer credit for throwing a gay frat boy or two into the mix--and then for treating that element almost incidentally. Instead of building a very special "homosexuals are people too!" speech around it.
Of course, that may be coming.
But both of these things are unexpected for a college show-and especially one which airs on ABC Family. Right before the 700 Club, yet. So is the sex, drink and rock 'n' roll prominently featured.
You'll find the network branding of the series is one of the two things that comes up most in the reviews, the other being that Spencer is Kelsey Grammer's daughter.
(Speaking of the reviews, here's one mostly good, one mostly bad.)
Seemingly more in keeping with their network home, the series also has a Christian character-but he shows signs of being better than the predictable "I'll pray for your soul, heathens" one-joke you think you're getting at first.
In one key scene, they actually let him be-prepare yourself for a shock-a moral compass for another. In a way that doesn't condescend, either to him or the heathen.
The show does have it's predictable characters (a caddish, brutish frat boy? You don't say). But the pilot's biggest problem is that the kid (Jacob Zachar) who you get the idea is supposed to be the sympathetic center of the series is easily the least interesting. Maybe it's the Kelly Clarkson in me, but I identified more with the cool sorority sister than her nerdy but hopeful brother.
It also doesn't help that the brother was given one of the least-likely jokes I have ever heard.
I refuse to believe that in the year 2007, a college freshman would respond to being told that a frat boy has known his older sister "in the Biblical sense" with:
"Oh, from church."
I don't care if the kid is Christian, deaf, dumb, and blind, that's just not going to happen.
At least Zachar and Grammer (shown together in the pic above), who plays his sister, do look kinda like siblings-both their faces seem hastily thrown together...
I first heard it on a local modern rock station, of all things, and thought it was gorgeous. It's a real standout, is what I'm saying. See if you don't agree.
This is "Captain Nemo."
I think the video looks beautiful, too, but I'm kinda proud to say I loved the song before I saw it.
And no, I don't get the Andrew Lloyd Webber thing either.
""Which cocktail are you?""
You're a tequila sunrise, tequila, orange juice and a grenadine sunrise. One of the most popular cocktails your friends mean the world to you and you're always eager to entertain them. You're playful, musical and always surrounded by people!
Take this quiz!
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You are Westley. Valiant, handsome and a great believer in the power of true love. You learn quickly, recover quickly and think quickly. Others marvel at your brilliance and wish they were you!
Take this quiz!
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"Which 'Labyrinth' Character are you?"