Saturday, July 22, 2006

The word you're looking for, JC, is gay

J.C. Chasez has enlisted the help of former 'NSync bandmate Justin Timberlake for two tracks on the follow-up to his 2004 album 'Schizophrenic.'

The boys reunited to co-write and produce 'God Bless America' and 'Until Yesterday,' the first single from Chasez's upcoming effort. "We had a lot of fun," Chasez tells AOL Music. "'Until Yesterday' is a lot of Beatles-meet-Freddy Mercury. That guy was so operatic and entertaining...

Source: ONTD.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Would you all for Chrissakes jest go and start reading Sinfest allready?


(As always, click to enlarge.)

Mouse Track memories

Sparked by reading the new Mouse Tracks: The Story of Walt Disney Records book (reviewed last month in Cartoon Brew), I thought I'd talk a little bit about the records of theirs I remember best from my own childhood.

I suspect that part of whatever creativity I've got going for me (he said pretentiously), as well as my sensitive ear for dialogue, comes from listening to records like these, as well as, later, the great radio shows of the '40s and '50s.

The first Disney record I think I remember listening to may have been the soundtrack album to their Babes In Toyland. But I have no idea whether it was the one featuring members of the original cast or the complete re-recording with a second (cheaper) cast. Something we learn from the book was not at all uncommon. I just remember liking the song where Tom disguises himself as a gyspy fortuneteller before revealing himself in the last line of the song.

Then there's 101 Dalmatians. The version I remember had a title song that didn't appear in the film but has been stuck in my head for oh, not long, about 34 years. One hundred and one (Woof! Woof!), one hundred and one (Woof! Woof!) one hundred and one dalmatian puppies...

And Mary Poppins. All children born anytime in the 20 years since the films first release had to have a copy of this recording, especially since in the days before video, they used to periodically rerelease their films to theaters and make yet another packet that way.

I think it's Leonard Maltin in his Disney Films book who says so much has been said about MP it's hard to know what to say about it at this stage. It's such an excellent movie, one of Disney's best, and the songs are so beautiful and memorable.

The Winnie The Pooh records, especially Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too, and Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree.

Aw, man, the best songs ever-"Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff..." "The wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things!"-and the voice of Sterling Holloway. If the Disney corporation spoke with one voice, it would be Sterling Holloway. "I'm so my tum-bly!"

And Paul Winchel, lest we forget, even though, I also learn from this book, he didn't sing Tigger's song on record, Sam Edwards did.

The Jungle Book. First of all, this is probably my personal favorite Disney soundtrack of all time. Not just the songs, but the entire score, and the voice performances. And it led to a terrific record-only sequel, More Jungle Book. I haven't seen the movie sequel Disney released a few years ago and probably never will, there's no way it can be better than this. If for no other reason than that it was recorded while Phil Harris was still alive to play Baloo-and according to the book, contribute greatly to the story as well. It had Louis Prima back as King Louie, too.

Robin Hood. Roger "King of the Road" Miller's performance as narrator Alan-a-Dale, his songs, and Peter Ustinov as Prince John are probably the best things about this movie, which is not generally held to be one of Disney's finest.

In fact, this is probably the only animated feature of which I can honestly say I would rather listen to a record with the music, dialogue, story and songs, letting my imagination fill in the rest, than watch the movie!

The songs are great. "Not In Nottingham." "Oo-De-Lally" (Never ever thinkin' there was danger in the water, They were drinkin', they just guzzled it down...), "Whistle Stop," “The Phony King Of England."

Although Ustinov doesn't get to sing a song, he does get one of my all-time favorite Disney lines:

"This crown, Hiss, gives me a feeling of power! Power! (Forgive me a cruel chuckle) Power."

The whiskery-voiced Pat Buttram is great as the Sheriff, too.

Dickens Christmas Carol with Mickey Mouse and Scrooge McDuck. This original musical for record was released seven years before the short film on the same theme. As I imagine More Jungle Book is, this is the superior to its film cousin in every way. Alan Young played Scrooge for the first time and also wrote 99% of the script, including a mispronounciation by Goofy which has been hanging around my head for 30 years. "I'm doomed-doomed!" pronounced as if "doomed" rhymes with "humid."

Now we come to some records I'd forgotten were released on the Disney label, because they're not from the soundtrack to Disney films.

They distributed the soundtrack recordings to the Charlie Brown television specials. It says here:
Some of the albums, such as A Charlie Brown Christmas, were direct lifts from the soundtrack, while others, including Charlie Brown's All-Stars, combined soundtrack dialogue with new voice work by the current Peanuts child actors.

This explains why the All-Stars special never sounds the way I remember it in my head when I see it today. The record is one of my favorites, along with Christmas and You're In Love, Charlie Brown. But there's something that's always bothered me about it.

Why does Linus join the other kids in yelling at Charlie Brown when he tells them they're not going to get uniforms?

Not only is that not in his character (I don't think) it makes even less sense in the context of this special, since Linus already knows they're not getting uniforms, and a moment later he's informing the others of why Charlie Brown turned them down. Glad I got that off my chest.

Anyway, I love the score that swells up at the very end when Linus tells Charlie Brown "They made your uniform out of my blanket!" I've never found that exact recording on any of the Charlie Brown music CDs.

On the other hand, it's probably best that we not say much about the instantly-dated Flashbeagle.

Finally, The Hobbit.

The music, usually by Maury Laws, was a highlight of all the Rankin/Bass specials, and this was arguably his crowning acheivement. I was always surpried a CD rerelease didn't happen while Hobbitmania was sweeping the land, although the special was put out on DVD.

I value the special so highly it's one of the reasons I can't get on board the why-doesn't-Jackson-do-The Hobbit-next train some are on. I'm sure it would be great, but...

These, then, are (some of) the sounds of my childhood.

Okay, the Joel Siegel/Kevin Smith/'Clerks II' thing

As one or two of you may have heard, movie reviewer Joel Siegel caused a scene at a "Clerks II" screening recently when he walked out midway, loudly announcing his intention to do so. Smith, rightly taking this as a golden opportunity to promote his rebel persona, has been posting about it on his blog and doing a radio talk show appearance or two about it.

In Scanners, Jim Emerson links to Smith's blog entry of the subject, and writes:

(WARNING: If you follow the link to Smith's blog above, be prepared to scroll down through various merchandising offers before getting to the posting itself; and, of course, you should expect lots of profanity and comments about donkey shows and mustaches and ejaculate -- that incorrigible Smith je ne sais quois!)

He then offers his

Full disclosure: I once liked a Kevin Smith movie ("Dogma"), and I haven't seen "Mallrats" or "Jersey Girl." Others, however (especially "Clerks"), have been painful experiences for me. I feel like an accused Communist writing this, but it is my full confession. Indeed, when an aspiring indie filmmaker (who has since had considerable success) once asked me for some directing advice, I told her to watch Smith's films to see exactly how not to shoot a movie, especially a comedy. She recently wrote to say she had heeded this advice, and to thank me for it. She is more than welcome. You can learn a lot from watching bad movies, and Smith's are every bit as hacky as Michael Bay's. The only difference is that the budgets are generally a bit smaller.

I've liked more of Smith's movies than Emerson has, and I've seen them all. I wrote about them at length in my review of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, which is one of the ones I liked. But as you can see in that review, I bought everything Smith was saying at the time about how this was his "hail and farewell" to those characters, and now he was going to try to become a more mature filmmaker.

Well, funny story. "Jersey Girl," his first attempt at such a film, came out and bombed the way it deserved to bomb, it was jaw-droppingly bad. Next thing you know, Smith discovers that why yes! He does have more to say about his Abbott and Costello team after all!

To which I said fine, but let's not pretend he has any more credit with the artistic bank, hmm? To coin a phrase, A Whore Like All The Rest.

(According to some reports, Smith did "Clerks II" not just because he's looking to suck the last drops from his fan base, but as a reward to Jason Mewes for getting sober. This may make him a good friend, but it doesn't make him a good artist.)

(On a matter completely unrelated to writers trying to suck the last drops from their fanbase, it was announced recently that Joss Whedon would write a "Buffy" sequel comic book series. And the creativity continues.)

So, the news that Smith was returning to his "View Asknewverse" already had me halfway turned around about him. It got worse when he published his "collected writings," which led me to predict he was now entering his "Mel Brooks in the '80s" phase. I had more to say about the book, which you can see in the Amazon link above.

I'd been thinking of posting something about this Joel Siegel thing, either in comment on All Along The Watchtower or here, but I'd decided not to. I just figured I didn't have too much to say about it.

I used to think, at the very least, you could say the man makes the movies that he wants to make, and he puts them out to stand or fall on their own. As a creator who wants very much to do something like that, at least I could honor and salute him for it.

Siegel should apologize for disrupting a screening, and you can't really blame Smith for using every chance to promote his movie-well, maybe you can. Wait a minute. Emerson has three examples of critics who didn't like one of Smith's movies being kept from press screenings of those in the future.

So, Smith wants the good reviews without risking getting the bad ones. Who can blame him? I suggest he just grow some cojones, be upfront and honest about it, and announce publicly: "If you don't like one of my movies, you will never be allowed to a press screening of Un Film de Kevin Smith again."

Joel Siegel. Did a dumb thing for which he could apologize-not to Smith, but to his fellow reviewers whose experience he disturbed.

Kevin Smith. Off the artistic roll call. Forever.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Ya! Ya! Ya! Death!

(click to enlarge)

Credit: The Sinfest webcomic.

You know, the saddest thing about this is that I'm in no way surprised

Actress Bryce Dallas Howard and director/writer M. Night Shyamalan have been making the late night talk-show rounds to promote his new film, The Lady In The Water. This has led me to wonder recently: Whatever has become of Haley Joel Osment?

You remember him, former child actor. He saw dead people. Now he sees a dead career. Funny story. He's been hospitalized after a car accident.
...police are investigating the possibility that alcohol played a role in the late-night incident.

Yes, that's right. A former child star is behaving recklessly, getting in trouble with the law, and abusing alcohol. You never see that...

PS: Yes, this story is only peripheraly about Bryce Dallas Howard, but given a choice between running an image of an ex-child star or a hot n' sexy redhead, you know which I'm going to choose every time...

See, you wouldn't think it to look at her, but with nothing more than colored chalk, nifty shoes, and a blue ice pop...

...Nicky knew she was going to rule the world.


Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Ashley Olsen takes another step closer to her future profession which, of course, I mean starring as Sandy in revivals of Grease. What'd you think I meant?

Source: ONTD.

Didn't you always kind of suspect?

(click to enlarge)

A brief observation

There is nothing like Jon Stewart talking about the area in-between George W. Bush's balls and anus to make one hestitate before starting to suck ones lemonade-flavored Fruit Bar popsicle.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

A new declaration of purpose

This is a blog for the coarse rabble who enjoy nonsense.

Who know that that the periodic dirty thought is paradoxically necessary to keep the heart pure, and that Christianity has been corrupted perhaps to its very core.

This blog's designated man-crush is Captain Jack. And when I say Captain Jack, I don't mean your namby-pamby Johnny Depp with his cartoony "acting," I mean the cheerfully bisexual action hero/con man supporting character on last year's Doctor Who-

-and soon to be seen in his own program.

This is a blog for people who feel that "female sexuality" is not just code words for "whores."

This blog knows that comedy and comedians are valuable.

This blog's Dulcinea remains Ms. Hathaway.

See you in hell.

PS: I'm back, baby!

Lindsay Lohan still hasn't found her mind

LINDSAY LOHAN is stunned after being compared to Hollywood beauties MARILYN MONROE and SHARON STONE. The actress reveals Stone herself and a close friend of Monroe have approached to remark on the likenesses - and she's staggered to be compared to such Tinseltown aristocracy. She says, "Marilyn's best friend came over at the event (at which she wore a Monroe-inspired dress) and said she'd been taken aback because she thought I looked so much like Marilyn. It was incredible. "Recently Sharon Stone told me, 'There's a picture of you in a white dress and you look just like me.' I was so flattered."


For those of you playing at home, this is, respectively, Marilyn Monroe, Sharon Stone and Lindsay Lohan.

Like triplets.

Frankly, I was expecting a lot more Cartman









Which Southpark Character Are You? (With pictures.)
created with

If we go, go insane We can all go together











Which of the Five Elements are you?
created with

Monday, July 17, 2006

Nelly Furtado: Symbol of everything that is wrong with women today

Ms. Furtado has recently been following in the footsteps of Huff and trying to pick up a little of that L Word dollar by "opening up" about her bisexuality and attraction to women. It's an obvious publicity stunt, and people being what they are, it's working.

Nelly's career is hotter than ever now that she's remembered to flex her sex and shed her hippie vibe:
“I went through a feminist phase and read a lot of philosophical stuff. Some of the male bashing brainwashed me for a bit so I stopped. I love men!”

"Me love you long time, Joe! (click! Whiiiiir) I love men! Me love you long time, Joe! (click! Whiiiiir) I love men!"

Source: ONTD.

Random Flickr-Blogging: IMG_7226


Deep down, George knew it would never really last. She got embarassed every time her bra strap showed. He was tired of getting rug burn on his head. But during that glorious Christmas party, The Amazing Bendinis, as they were known forever after, thought nothing of dropping everything to show their friends just how they got together in the first place.

There's something in this about all women, too (and men, probably).

Sunday, July 16, 2006