For comparable dialogue samples, see any given episode of "The L Word."

The script for the TV movie 7 Things to do Before I'm 30, which premiered this evening, made Will & Grace look deep and warm. The dialogue progressed from toenail-peeling, sick-making bad to oh-my-god-I'm-going-to-scream-if-this-person-keeps-talking worse.

The less said about the direction, the better.

As I think I may have remarked here once or twice before, to be a fan of Amber Benson is to be resigned to the belief that she's better (as an actress) than most of the projects she does.

Not that I'm saying she's perfect...although I did find this picture via a website called Perfect People.



And as we all know, you're not allowed to put something on a website unless it's objectively, verifiably true.

This is why I’m proud to tell you I am writing this from my new condo in San Francisco, where shooting will soon begin on my first feature film, staring Liza Weil and Shannon Marie Woodard.

Back to reality... (But I'm so happy here!)

My point is, given good material and filmed properly, she's a standout. Here she's given an overly-cute "rom-com" script, filmed unflatteringly, and she still goes down swinging.

I can only assume it's a collective failure of the artistic community that Benson hasn't been able to follow up on her breakout part as Tara on "BtVS" yet.

I know, I'm gushing. I'm a fan. We're allowed to do that. And I hate to think it's because she played a lesbian...though there is some reason to believe that might have something to do with it.

...why this frenzied chlorophyllous orgy starts in spring is no enigma! We call this quest for satisfaction a what, class?

Makes me long for my old school colors...



I took Sage Vivant's Erotic Personality Quiz and discovered I'm a Student!

What is your Erotic Personality? Find out now..

Best...picture...EVER!

(With due credit to Shiltone at If I Ran the Zoo, who found it first.)

Ok, I'm back to feeling oddly moved by Britney Spears' mental meltdown

I don't know why, exactly. But this picture makes me sad, curse my natural empathy. It just seems so full of...everything that's wrong, not just with her, but with the way in which she is exploited.

I'm not screaming "Leave Britney alone!" here, she profited by her own exploitation and in a real sense, she is reaping what she has sown. But, still...this picture makes me sad.

I think maybe because the above and below dichotomy is so clear. Her face and wig/hair are still the teensiest bit sexy, albeit in a doll parts kind of way. But below...her pants are undone.

And paparazzos are capturing every inch of it.

I'm in the book, Christina

Actress Christina Applegate is so desperate to have kids she’s pressing on with parenting plans without a man in her life.

The divorced Anchorman star, 36, admits she can hear her body clock ticking loudly and insists it’s the perfect time to have a baby - even though she isn’t dating.

She says, "That’s (motherhood) something I really need to get on soon, which is difficult in the current situation.

Look me up, babe. I may not be a lady killer, but I'm pretty and I'll make you laugh...and I think you're funny, too...

He doesn't love you, Tara

olivia d'Abo has a very sexy face

As I believe I may have written here before...

...even for a Republican, John Gibson is a whackjob.

I haven't said anything about Heath Ledger's death, for the radical reason that I have nothing really worthwhile to say about it. Beyond the obviousness of how unfortunate it is. Fox News host Gibson, on the other hand, saw an opportunity to mock the passing of a man whose friends and family are in mourning.

When this provoked an outcry, Gibson's defensive response was essentially that Ledger once played a gay man, so it's ok to make jokes about the fact that his child now won't have a father.

I kid you not.

Not counting the toothsome Anne Hathaway, of course

The latest installments of that series of Disney ads wherein they have modern-day celebrities "as" Disney characters have been released.

My least favorite is Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony as Aladdin and Jasmine, but that's at least partly because Jasmine is my favorite of all the Disney "princesses."



I think she's fiercely sexy...I mean...for a Disney character, and all. Jennifer Lopez in harem pants can't compete with that.

My favorite this time-and actually my favorite of the series so far-is this picture of Jessica Biel as Pocahontas (with a cameo, as I like to think of it, by Bambi).



I don't quite know why I should be a fan of that one, considering Biel is kind of a joke to me and I've never even seen "Pocahontas," but...

Have I mentioned that I truly have no idea when Zooey Deschanel got so fucking hot?

In the case of a tie, the extra half-point goes to the slice of cheesecake

Pink appeared on the Conan O'Brien show recently to promote a cause she believes in, that of the prevention of cruelty to the horses used in horse & carriage rides. I didn't know this was a serious problem, but there you are.

A few days ago, the New York Horse & Carriage Association, as well as a carriage owner and a hansome cab driver, countered her charges. It appears Pink may have been commenting on something she didn't know about. I say may, because I don't know the whys and wherefores and particulars of how horses are treated when used in this manner.

I do know that Pink's appearance was part of a campaign for PETA. While I don't think everyone who supports PETA is necessarily nuts...do I really need to finish that sentence?

Unhappily, the hansom cab driver made it personal, thus activating all of my desires to protect pretty girls.

McKeever, whose horse Roger has appeared on "Sex and the City," argues, "My horse is more famous than [Pink] is!"

Even more inexplicably, Todd at the IDon'tLikeYouInThatWay blog seems to argue that he wouldn't listen to anything Pink has tell him anyway, because he finds her unattractive.

Pink is a woman who looks like a dude, so good luck is trying to get me to listen to anything her ugly ass has to say, no matter how important she thinks it is.

...As an aside, the other day I saw a woman who looked like a dude, at least from the back. She had the face of a woman (and a very pretty one) and was walking arm-in-arm with a dude, but she had no ass whatsoever. It was pretty much like a nine-year-old. I felt sorry for her...

But for those of you playing at home, this is Pink:





If she looks like a dude...I am so fucking gay.

Overture, curtain, lights...

My favorite color can't take much more of this

Here, Monica Bellucci makes it go all weak in the knees,





while Symba Smith just gives it amnesia.

Be well, Roger

Critic Roger Ebert underwent yet another surgery today, per this new item. As you know if you've been reading this blog for any period of time, I'm a great admirer of his thoughtful, thought-provoking, and funny reviews and commentary.



I wish him much luck in his continued recovery.

Now sleeps the crimson petal, now the white

Now sleeps the crimson petal, now the white



Nor waves the cypress in the palace walk



Nor winks the gold fin in the porphyry font



The fire-fly wakens; waken thou with me



Now droops the milk-white peacock like a ghost



And like a ghost she glimmers on to me

Now lies the Earth all Danaë to the stars





And all thy heart lies open unto me

Now slides the silent meteor on, and leaves



A shining furrow, as thy thoughts in me





Now folds the lilly all her sweetness up
And slips into the bosom of the lake



So fold thyself, my dearest, thou and slip





Into my bosom and be lost in me.

(Poem by Alfred, Lord Tennyson.)

Mariah Carey has interesting ideas about keeping warm during a rainstorm

Group photo

Holly Marie Combs stuns my favorite color into silence. Meanwhile, I go insane trying to choose between looking at Alyssa Milano's breasts or Rose McGowan's...

Des Penny-photos

Sometimes I worry that my desire to have sex with Angelina Jolie makes me common.

When did this happen? Zooey Deschanel. From here...



...to here:



Charlize Theron, rehearsing for her role as the Frankenstein monster.



Lindsay Lohan. Making Miss Piggy look nice and lucid.



Christina Ricci has a question for all of you.

Have you looked between her legs recently?



I don't quite know who this is. But, dear god...

(Her name is Anneliese van der Pol, and apparently she's an actress and singer, though one I'd never heard of or seen before. I see from Wikipedia that most of her credits are on The Disney Channel or like-projects, which would explain it.)



(I actually think her face is so beautiful that she doesn't really need to be doing the look-at-the-swell-of-my-boob thing, but you won't hear me complaining, exactly.

I just looked up a video of her singing "Candle On The Water" from Pete's Dragon, though, and it's ugly what she does to that song...)

From the most insanely fuckable version of Fiddler On The Roof ever!

And finally: Eliza Dushku knows something you don't know...

Can I just say, I'm sick of people who have more money than Asia and still can't pull their lives together?

Case in point.

Because of one or two pieces of bad news I received this evening, I am less willing than usual to mind my own business where Britney Spears is concerned, something I usually try to do, believe it or not. But I'm sick of it.

Everyone I know's lives would be so much better (with maybe one or two exceptions) if they only had a little more money. Not even a lot, necessarily, but some. And I am just sick unto death of reading about people who by any standard have had all their dreams come true and don't know how to Step Up.

So many people are going to live and die without ever being given That Chance. And for people who have had good fortune smile on them to turn around and kick it in the teeth...

Well I'm just sick of it, that's all.

feminine policeman

I have no idea who this is, I just stumbled on the picture which was accompanying this poem, which I have translated from the Portuguese via AltaVista Babel Fish. I like it.

In the principle I age the Eva
Created for the happiness of Adam
Later I was Maria
Giving to the light that one
That it would bring the salvation
But this would not be enough
I to find pardon.
I started to be Amélia
The truth woman
For the society
She did not have the lesser vanity
But she dreamed of the equality.
Much time later I decided:
It does not give more!
I want my dignity
I have my ideals!
Today I am not alone wife or son
I am father, mother, support of family
I am truck driver, taxista,
Pilot of airplane, feminine policeman,
Laborer in construction...
To the world I ask for license
To act where to want
My last name is ABILITY
E my name is WOMAN!

the Author, near as I can tell, is someone called desconhecido.

I want you all to make me a promise, my vast reading audience

If my love for the color green ever extends, in any way, to affection for something like this, I want you to promise me you'll have me put away for my own safety.

Jokes that seem funny after two o'clock in the morning

E! News Headline:

Charlie Can't Touch Denise's Reality

Is that what they're calling it now...

A message from The Center of No Shit, Sherlock

Study: False Statements Preceded War

A study by two nonprofit journalism organizations found that President Bush and top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the 2001 terrorist attacks.

The study concluded that the statements "were part of an orchestrated campaign that effectively galvanized public opinion and, in the process, led the nation to war under decidedly false pretenses."

The study was posted Tuesday on the Web site of the Center for Public Integrity, which worked with the Fund for Independence in Journalism.

1. I think most of America has known that for oh, well over a year, but it's nice that there's data available.

2. Can. We. Impeach. Them. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooow?

Was there ever really any doubt?

gURL.com
		My aura is... green Read more... What color is your aura?

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

My pal Corey Klemow hipped me to the fact that the just-nominated-for-an-Oscar cartoon retelling of Peter & the Wolf can be viewed via Cartoon Brew. It's in three parts and will take about half an hour, but it's way-cool. If you don't believe me, watch the first 10 minutes:



And that's just the first part. It gets better with each, IMO.

Bet 'yer ass, sister

I'm Vintage Madonna, who are you? Madonna Quiz by Turi.

I miss the '80s...

You're as shocked as I am, I can tell

It turns out, Americans are actually much hipper than news organizations like CNN.

A brief observation

There's nothing like doing a random image search, finding a picture you like and only glancing at the page it's on before starting to post it...and then looking again and realizing it's on a "white pride" Conservative web page.

Happy Martin Luther King Day, everyone!

Jewel Staite is hotter than "Firefly" (and surrounded by my favorite color)