Saturday, July 18, 2009

Yes. That's all. Just, simply: Yes.

From a site called Girls on Film, yet:

The best rationale I can offer is that men who can successfully write women are those who don't try to write as women. What I mean is -- they write naturally and rationally rather than with specific and often stereotypical tropes in mind. There might be classically "feminine" elements to the story, but the path and thought behind them is, simply, human.


Oh, and: Thank you.

In the words of Britney Spears, Gimme Gimme more Gimme more Gimme gimme more


If you found yourself amused by the recent poster for the thriller The Collector -- which read, clearly, at the bottom of the one-sheet: "From the Writers of Saw IV, V & VI -- then be prepared to keep on laughing. Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton have been tapped to write the seventh entry in the series, which is now speculated will run up to nine films in total before setting its final trap.

No word yet on plot details, but one wonders, given that Dunstan is said to have done a solid job of directing The Collector, whether the writer/director might now take up helming duties on the series.

Love it...

Do not, I repeat, do not look at this image of Gary Coleman, unless you feel like feeling really, really bad.

I have warned thee.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I can't decide...

...whether I want to stay straight, so that I might fantasize about seducing Meghan McCain...

...Or go gay, so that she might become my hag.

“Does it sound campy to say I love gay men?” asks Meghan McCain, sipping an iced tea at the nouveau-chic Hotel Palomar in Washington, D.C.’s Dupont Circle. Campy or not, the lovesick McCain has been ubiquitous this year, sallying forth on late-night TV -- Larry King Live, The Colbert Report, The Rachel Maddow Show -- to scold the Republican establishment for its social conservatism and stump for gay marriage. “If two people fall in love, they should have the option to get married just like I can,” she told Stephen Colbert, pointing out the inherent hypocrisy of a party that believes in keeping government out of people’s private lives -- except when those people are gay men and women.

Yet even as the balance begins to shift, the old guard is still yapping in the foreground. Shortly before McCain sat for this interview, Samuel Wurzelbacher, aka Joe the Plumber, gave an interview to Christianity Today in which he complained about “queers” and declared, “I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children.” Unprompted, McCain rails against the man her father’s presidential campaign touted as an American everyman and made a showpiece in the weeks before the election. “Joe the Plumber -- you can quote me -- is a dumbass. He should stick to plumbing.”

This seems unlikely

Allegedly, Beyonce doesn't want people taking pictures of her ass anymore.

I think that's what's known as "killing the golden goose."

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

You go on and tell 'em, J.B.

"All we writers need is a couple of actors stupid enough to believe what we write."

--J.B. Priestley, as repeated to Jessica Tandy.
From the book Actors Talk.


It's becoming clearer and clearer to me that the reason President Obama hasn't done jack shit about Don't Ask Don't say nothing of gay because he really, really...doesn't want to.

Now he's saying that rather than repeal the insane law, he wants to "change" it. As though there was some way to make it work. Tip: There isn't. It's an insane law.

In the interview, CNN's Anderson Cooper pressed Obama as to why his administration had not moved on a key promise it made to the gay rights community -- that it would overturn the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy crafted during the Clinton years.

"Look," the president replied, "I've had conversations with [Defense Secretary] Bob Gates as well as Admiral [Mike] Mullen about the fact that I want to see this law change. I also want to make sure that we are not simply ignoring a congressional law. If Congress passes a law that is constitutionally valid, then it's not appropriate for the Executive Branch simply to say we will not enforce a law. It is our duty to enforce laws.

"But look, the bottom line is, I want to see this changed," Obama added, "and we've already contacted congressional allies.

Constitutional? Really?

You know, I've said this before--but I never thought I'd be saying it about a Democratic administration.

I would like to see somebody stand up and ask Obama two questions.

One : Do you think a homosexual is a person?

If yes, then, Two : Where by any reasonable standard in the Constitution does it say that any person does not have the same legal rights, responsibilities, and protections as any other?

I'm especially curious to hear the first black President's response to that, given as I know that the Constitution originally said that slaves only counted as three fifths of a person.

(The things you learn from television.)

If (as he sees it), it is our duty to enforce laws written to deny people their rights, then Barack Obama is only three fifths of a president.

(Or maybe 80%, given his parentage...I'm fuzzy on the math but you see my point.)

Back to his answer to the first question.

Do you think a homosexual is a person?

If no, then, Two: Why didn't you tell us that when you were running for office?

Of course, the thing is, I think I know the answer to both of those questions (and their permutations).

He didn't say that when he was running because he wanted money and votes.

There's nothing in the Constitution by which to reasonably deny people their rights and responsibilities.

The only reason to do this is if you are, at best, a craven opportunist; at worst, a bigot.

Does he think that a homosexual is a person?

I'm afraid the answer to that is becoming clearer to me, too.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Dear Liz: I suppose I can appreciate it must be hard

To live with the fear that your father might go to jail, I mean. Much less the knowledge that most good people want (and expect) him to burn in hell. So I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. It's just something we Democrats do.


Given the news over the weekend that DOJ might investigate PapaDick Cheney, we had to expect Liz "BabyDick" Cheney would be out again defending her Daddy.

CHENEY: ...the notion that this administration is going to come into office and they’re going to prosecute the brave men and women who carried out this program that kept America safe. It is, it is un-American. It’s something that hasn’t happened before in this country, in terms of somebody taking office and then starting to prosecute people who carried out policies that they disagreed with, you know, in the previous administration.

Liz, if not for your own good, or that of your country, then certainly for the good of your party...shut the fuck up.


Neither do I, but at least I know it

After years of scandal and political defeats, Ralph Reed wants a new start and is creating a new advocacy group called the Faith and Freedom Coalition, reports the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

Now, if you're like me, you may remember Reed as your basic "pro-life," homophobic republican (if not...). And you may find the news of his "return" a bit alarming.

I wouldn't worry about it. Why?

Said Reed: "This is not going to be your daddy's Christian Coalition. It has to be younger, hipper, less strident, more inclusive and it has to harness the 21st century that will enable us to win in the future... It's the political analog to the iPod and the iPhone. It would be cool."

Psst! Ralph! The use of the phrase "This is not going to be your Daddy's..." to say nothing of the words "hipper" and "cool" are sure signs that you know fuck-all about what is hip and cool.

At least now we know what's wrong witb her

Actress Maura Tierney has cleared up--in a way--concerns about her "mystery illness" which is causing NBC to have to delay her new series, Parenthood.

I say "In a way" because, although now we need not speculate on what it might be, it doesn't entirely clear up the concerns of fans like me to learn that TPWFM is having surgery for a tumor in her breast.

I wish all good things for you, Ms. Tierney.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Ever just...wanted to suck on the barrel of a gun?

Via ohnotheydidn't...
She said goodbye to The Hills but Lauren Conrad is still a fan favorite: Her debut novel, L.A. Candy, has topped the New York Times Best Seller list two weeks in a row.

"If someone said to me five years ago when this all started that I would one day make the New York Times Best Seller list I wouldn't have believed it," Conrad tells PEOPLE exclusively. "I am so honored that it is now a reality."

Although Conrad is used to the spotlight, she's still in awe over her literary accomplishment, "It was such a compliment to be included in something with such established names."

L.A. Candy, which hit shelves June 16, is the first in a three-book deal for the reality TV star.

There is no God.

The devil you (don't) know...

Y''s not like I expected any of you, necessarily, to get the Devil and Daniel Mouse reference. That's pretty obscure. Or even Futurama.

But the South Park movie? The Simpsons Treehouse? That quote even had the name Bart in it. Bedazzled, for Pete's sake. Phantom of the Paradise? Anybody? Legend? No?

You guys didn't even try.

Well, I think I see what this mean. You guys want less devil, more OMG! news items.

I'll see what I can do.