Saturday, March 15, 2008

Hey...I'm hot!

Typecast Yourself!

Listen to Nancy, Hillary...

Trying to win over those who are undecided, [Hillary] Clinton wined and dined 17 superdelegates this week at her posh Washington home.

Rep. Jason Altmire, D-Pa., [who] attended the dinner at Clinton's home...had a...question.

"If Sen. Obama finishes this process after all the states have participated and he's still leading in the delegate count and he's won more states and he has a higher popular vote, why would a superdelegate at that point choose to go the other way?" he asked Clinton.

They don't tell you what she answered him.

I find that significant.


Clinton was asked about the superdelegate question by ABC News at a press conference Friday.

"Superdelegates, so called, are in the process because many of them are longtime elected officials, longtime party activists who can exercise independent judgment about who is best able to both present the Democratic Party case and win the White House," Clinton said.

Asked whether she thinks she can explain that to voters, Clinton replied, " I think that, you know, we are following what was determined to be an appropriate process for picking a nominee."

Shorter version: Because we know better than you.

That really does seem to be the only justification for this misshapen "superdelegate" idea: Because the Democratic party insiders know better than the Democratic Party voters. And honestly, a party which believes that is like a priest who's lost his faith, and a priest who's lost his faith has no business running a congregation any more.

I feel the need to re-state something I've said before in starker terms. Mrs. Clinton? If Obama accomplishes the three things Congressman Altmire lay out above, and you still grasp the nomination by way of slick maneuvering through party insiders...then goddamn you to hell.

Goddamn you to hell because you will have made Ralph Nader, finally, absolutely right: There is no difference between the two parties. None whatsoever.

At this point, I'm almost worried that Clinton is setting feminism back at least four years...

Plus if I have to listen to her for four years after eight years of George W. Bush...I'm just going to blow my brains out.

Finally, Listen to Nancy, Hillary...

In an interview with George Stephanopoulos to air this Sunday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., had a different take.

"If the votes of the superdelegates overturn what's happened in the election, it would be harmful to the Democratic Party," Pelosi said.

Listen to Nancy, Hillary...stop doing more harm than good.

Hello, sailor!

Good spelling, not so much.

The REAL Battlestar Galactca, gosh-darn-it!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Apparently I haven't shown Kristin Chenoweth all the love she deserves

Amy Sherman-Palladino denied "Gilmore Girls" a proper ending for *this*?

Hoo boy. As she showed on most of Gilmore Girls as well as her previous work for Roseanne, Amy Sherman-Palladino can write both good drama and comedy. But based on its first two episodes, The Return of Jezebel James is the worst of both worlds.

It's too forced and jokey to be a good drama. But shot on film with a laugh track (I can't believe we haven't killed those yet) that stamps out the couple of laughs to be had.

"A" for effort to Lauren Ambrose...

(The versatile Liza Weil has nothing to do with Jezebel James, but she was in Gilmore Girls and is one of my favorite actresses).

Call it a hunch, but when your sitcom's first two episodes have exactly one laugh each, and neither of them are scored by your lead? I'm guessing it isn't a good time to start building on to your house.

I was also saddened to find myself reminded, in more than one spot in the pilot, of Gilmore Girls.

Sherman-Palladino's writing voice is one thing, but did she have to bold face the resemblance by casting Parker Posey (right), who could easily play Lauren Graham's sister or Alexis Bledel's aunt?

Or set her first scene in what looked like Lorelei's house, with another in a freaking diner?

I'd like to think this will get better. Because of my high regard for Sherman-Palladino (plus I've got a little crush on and want to marry a girl just like her).

But for the moment, hopes are not high. Because right now, Jezebel James is to Gilmore Girls or Roseanne as Studio 60 is to West Wing or Sports Night....only not that good.

I want to find out where this is and be buried here

The Lord gave us plastic fruit and foam-rubber pies?

At least, that's what it looks like to me.

But then, I suppose, in a larger sense, he/she/it/none of the above did...

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle

I think most of you know that the short-lived series Cupid starring Jeremy Piven, has a special place in my heart. The same man who created and produced it, Rob Thomas, was also the creator of Veronica Mars. Which was one of the reasons I was in on that series from the beginning.

But I never in my life thought I'd be reading this...
'Cupid' Takes Wing Again
ABC greenlights new pilot from 'Veronica Mars' creator

Suddenly, Rob Thomas is a very busy man.

The "Veronica Mars" creator, who earlier this week was hired to work on an update of "Beverly Hills, 90210" for The CW, has now received a green light to update his late-'90s show "Cupid" for ABC.

Thomas began working on the updated "Cupid" before the writers' strike, and ABC rewarded him with a pilot order on Thursday, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The new show will keep the same premise -- a man who believes he's the titular god sent to Earth to unite 100 couples -- but move the setting from Chicago to Los Angeles and tweak a few other elements.

"Cupid" would take priority over "90210" for Thomas since the former has been in the works longer.

Even if only because it makes the DVD release of the original seem more likely...this is excellent news.

Sometimes I thought I saw the sunrise and good times in the air. It was just, it was just another big town...with midnight's neon glare...

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

" really want to reach in and kill them where they live? Keep accepting more than one idea. Makes 'em absolutely crazy."


Mystery Gay-Bashing Theatre 3000

or: Not doing fine, Oklahoma

Republican Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern:

The homosexual agenda [Loud snap] is destroying this nation. OK? It's just a fact.

She's right of course. I remember when the homosexual agenda marched us towards war against Iran.

[Volume increases] Not everybody's lifestyle is equal, just like not all religions are equal.

And it's the homosexual agenda that is destroying this nation. Not attitudes like that.

Uh and I'm not anti, I'm not gay-bashing, but according to God's word that is not the right kind of lifestyle, it has deadly consequences for those people involved in it, they have more suicides, uh and they're more discouraged, there's more illness, their uh lifespans are shorter, you know?

A choice of replies:

First, say it before, say it again...whenever anybody says something like "I'm not gay-bashing, but..." 98% of the time, it means "I'm gay-bashing, and..."

Second (and this one I admit is kind of just for me): My god. She's been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

It's, it's, it's not a lifestyle that is good for this nation.

Why can't these gays live their lifestyle in God's way, like Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, Britney Spears and Valerie Bertinelli?

'Matter of fact, studies show, that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades.

Maybe not. But during those few decades, their apartments looked fabulous!

So it's the death knell of this country.

As opposed to oh, say, the needless slaughter of thousands of soldiers. Yes, I can certainly see how that would be a threat. How great a threat? Funny you should ask...

I honestly think it's the biggest threat even, that our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam, which I think is a big threat. OK?

You know what's weird? In a sense (though not one which actually makes sense), I know what she means. Think about it. If the point of terrorism is to provoke overreaction; excessive irrational fear, then clearly homosexuality has done its work on this poor woman.

I'm not saying she has any personal relationships with gays that might have put the fear of god and the mighty force of denial into her...I'm just saying she's married to a pastor (Dr. Steve Kern of Olivet Baptist Church).

Because what's happening now, they're going after er uh in schools - two year-olds!

You know why they're trying to get early childhood education? their children can be educated early?

They want to get our young children into the government schools so they can indoctrinate them!

And by god, that's what the churches are for.

I taught school for close to twenty years and we're not teaching facts and knowledge anymore folks, we're teaching indoctrination. OK?

How scary is that...not that we're teaching indoctrination, but that this know-nothing ignoramus (if that's not redundant) not only represents her state politically, but used to be a teacher?

And they're going after our young children, as young as two years of age...

There's an undercurrent here. Sure, on the surface, she's talking about the idea that homosexuals are

try[ing] to teach [kids] that the homosexual lifestyle is the acceptable lifestyle

(Actually, it's an acceptable lifestyle...)

But really, this is about the bigotry of equating homosexuality with child molestation. Further to what I was saying yesterday...sometimes I can't believe the shit that still gets thrown around in 2008.

The fact is, and has been for decades, the vast majority of sexual molestation of children is inflicted by heterosexuals. But it's okay, because it's not gay.

You know, gays are infiltrating city councils.

They got the idea from those who want to challenge evolution in science classes.

I tried to introduce a bill last year, that would notify parents, uh schools had to let parents know what clubs their students were involved in.

And the reason I did that bill, primarily, was this, we had the Gay-Straight Alliance coming into our schools.

And if there's one thing we can't stand, it's gays forming alliances with straights.

Kids are getting involved in these groups, their lives are being ruined, their parents don't know about it. So I introduced a bill that said you have to notify all clubs, and things.

Okay, open contest. The first person to send me five documented examples, from mainstream sources, of kids' lives being ruined because of their involvement with the Gay-Straight Alliance (or like clubs) wins.

The prize is that you get to pick three subjects to see me address here. It's not exactly American Idol, but then neither are my viewing figures.

And one of my colleagues said, "Well, you know we don't have a gay problem in my community, so that's why I voted against that bill."

Well you know what? To me that is so dumb. If you've got cancer or something in your little toe, do you say, Well you know I’m just gonna forget about it, 'cause the rest of you's [not a word-BV] fine?

Wow. So let me get this (you should pardon the expression) straight. Gays are worse-than-terrorist pedophiles equatable to a disease that kills thousands of Americans every year and causes the suffering of millions. Lady...go to bed, would you please?

It spreads! OK?

And this, this stuff is deadly, and it's spreading and it will destroy uh our young people, it will destroy this nation.

She sounds like Brad and Janet before they spend the night in Frank's castle...

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Hey...Jude? Don't carry the world up on your shoulder...

(I'm really awfully sorry)

2008, ladies and gentlemen. We're living in 2008.

On the other hand, this is from FOXNews, where they may still be living in 1958:

BILL O'REILLY, HOST: get a woman in the Oval Office, most powerful person in the world, what's the downside?

MARC RUDOV, THE NONONSENSEMAN.COM: You mean besides the PMS and the mood swings, right?

...Well, you know, I'm joking of course. The main problem I have is if a woman has a female agenda.

"a female agenda?"

Call it what you like...

Good one, Geraldine

FAIRLESS HILLS, Pa.— Barack Obama's campaign charged Tuesday that Geraldine Ferraro, a key supporter of Hillary Clinton, acted in a racist way when she recently suggested Obama achieved his place in the Democratic presidential race because he is black.

"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position," the Democratic nominee for vice president in 1984 told the Daily Breeze of Torrance, Calif., in an interview published Friday. "And if he was a woman [of any color] he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept."

Because we all know how lucky you have to be to be a black man in this country.

"It's regrettable that any of our supporters on both sides—because we both have this experience—say things that kind of veer off into the personal," the New York senator said.

Uh-huh. And how quickly did the Obama aide who called Senator Clinton "a monster" resign?

"First of all left me say I'm sorry people thought it was racist," said the former congresswoman from New York....

"I got up and the question was asked, 'Why do you think Barack Obama is in the place he is today?' with all these candidates, with all these delegates and stuff. And I said in large part because he is black."

Why would anyone think that was racist?

Death of a terrific artist

Dave Stevens, 1955-2008.

Proof yet again that to Republicans, sex is the only action disgraceful enough to warrant impeachment

State Republicans threatened on Tuesday to impeach New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer if he does not quit over a sex scandal that has raised questions over whether he could face criminal charges.

The threat added to pressure on Spitzer, a Democrat and former state chief prosecutor who made his name fighting white-collar crime on Wall Street, to step down after a report that he hired a high-priced prostitute.

Oh, for the love of god. Look, I hold no brief whatsoever for Eliot Spitzer. From what I can tell, he seems to be a bit of a hypocrite, and I don't like those any better in my own party than I do in the opposition. But really, I don't care that much about him either way.

It's just...completely screw up a nation's foreign policy. Be directly responsible for the needless deaths of thousands of servicepeople. None of that makes you impeachable. Have sexual relations with a woman not your wife, though, boy, and watch out!


Did I mention that I don't like hypocrites?

Monday, March 10, 2008

Along the high-street, coloured windows full of clothes. I saw a pretty girl and she held a wilted rose. A consolation, from someone who had gone.

And the sky was clear and blue, and the clouds, well, they were few. As I wondered at this perfect day, she turned to me to say...well I went walking, by the factories stark and bare. Down in the old canal, a red rose floated there. In every ripple, a lover who had gone...

It’s Always Raining-Rock and Hyde

Is it my birthday?

So let me get this straight. In one day...

Tucker Carlson loses his job.
I finish a new draft of my work-in-progress, and...'s announced that the next season of The L Word, that sore tooth of a show...will be its last.

Time to buy lottery tickets. And quickly.

ETA: Hey--and as if all that weren't enough, I just now this moment found my tape of KLF I've been looking for since October.

(It was "hiding in plain sight" on my desk--blocked from my view by the monitor.)

I have finished the latest draft of my current work-in-progress

I think this is the fifth or sixth.

It's still not 100% what I want it to be yet, but it's getting closer--previous drafts I felt were about a third of the way there, now I'd say it's more like half.

The next draft is going to be a pretty drastic revisal of form. I had an idea while I was writing this one; had to decide whether to go back to the beginning with the new idea, or finish in current form. I chose the latter.

Now I need a "beta" reader or two (as always, I tell you this so those of you who want to can change your email addresses).

Oh, happy day.

The awful human being, in fact part weasel, part monster, part twat, part dick, Tucker out of a job.

This means there's hope for the cable networks.

Maybe not much, but there's some.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Co-opted by Stupid back-bacon loving hosers...

Apollo Games is linking to a blog post I wrote about them last year. Even though, in that post, I called the head of the team that developed a new game for them a "stupid prick."

I guess it's really true: There is no bad publicity...

Down by the sea, I found your hidden treasure. Just you and me, We over-dosed on pleasure

Listen to your heart
Screamin' at the sky
Can't you feel it tremble?
Don't you wonder why?

-Men At Work, Down By The Sea

Into the Woods

Thomas Hart Benton said that there is no such thing as failure for an artist. The only time an artist fails is if he stops working. Ultimately, it's all about the process. It's about the journey and exploration. It's facing the blank piece of paper and transforming your fear into excitement. The point is not to let the fear make you stop or quit. There is a quote I love by Miles Davis that is hanging on the studio wall: Don't fear mistakes-there are none.

-Greg Hildebrandt

Random Flickr-blogging 2095

Steve knew in the next few moments either all his dreams would be realized or dashed against the rocks. Just which it would be was only revealed when the ladies chorused, "Sorry, pal. You must be this tall..."



"I've heard of pop art, but this is ridiculous!"

This is work by Chris Jordan, and beyond just being extraordinary to look at, he has something to say with it, too (and no, Corey, it is not "Hello, dere! What's up, Doc?").

Cans Seurat [is] 106,000 aluminum cans, the number used in the US every thirty seconds.

The next work is made up of

32,000 Barbies,

equal to the number of elective breast augmentation surgeries performed monthly in the US in 2006

And finally, this is a detail from a portrait comprised of
125,000 one-hundred dollar bills ($12.5 million), the amount our government spends every hour on the war in Iraq

I'll let you see for yourself who it's a portrait of...

"More than Pac-Man with a bow," indeed

PJ sends along a link to these girl pictures, many if not all of them computer-generated:

My amazing Gilmore Girls


Juxtaposition Theatre

Britney Spears:

The greatest news item of all time

A Japanese bikini model-turned-actress has been acquitted on trespass charges because a recreation of the alleged crime showed she couldn't possibly have fit through a hole because of her ample bust.

Emphasis mine.

The model, who goes by her professional name of Serena Kozakura, had been sentenced to 14 months in prison for willful destruction of property after a Nov. 6 incident in which she allegedly kicked a hole the door and re-entered her boyfriend's apartment following an argument with another woman she had discovered there. The 38-year-old model had appealed the sentence to the Tokyo High Court.

"I lost work after being charged, but justice prevailed in the end," said a delighted Kozakura after the ruling. "I was always worried about being a bit fat, but this time I was glad."

Emphasis also mine. You see that, ladies? Not only are curvy bodies more attractive to men--at least, real men--but they can also keep you out of jail.

Item found via The Reluctant Optimist. He's got all the political acumen of a flaming sack of shit (and hi, TRO!), but the man knows his breast-related news stories...

Oh, now that's comedy

Ok, you know the Hillary Clinton ad that some are crediting with her recent wins? The one that shows innocent children asleep in their beds while viewers hear the sound of a ringing phone?

With the apparent suggestion that if (god forbid) Barack Obama answers that phone instead of Mrs. Clinton, voters will have no one but themselves to blame for what will happen?

(To the children, oh please, won't somebody think of the children?)

Well, funny story. The shots of the children seen in the ad came from stock footage, in one case, actually stock footage from eight years ago. That young lady is about to turn 18...and she's an Obama supporter.

A fierce Obama supporter.

When I read that, I just laughed like Burt Reynolds in a Cannonball Run outtake...