Saturday, March 24, 2007

It's very clear (an illustrated meme)

This meme is from Jeopardygirl.

Eight Songs I Am Diggin’ On Right Now:

"New Song (New Version") by Howard Jones. Love that bigger piano sound.

"Hang On Now [Extended Mix]" by Kajagoogoo. One of only two songs they or Lihmal ever recorded that doesn't have anything majorly wrong with it.

"Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. See post further down for most recent reason.

"Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel.

"True Blue (and) "Live To Tell," both by Madonna.

"A Good Heart" by Feargal Sharkey. One of the great two-time-one-hit wonders. I dunno what the deal was with the name, though.

"Don't Leave Me This Way" by the Communards. Another of those bands I have a fair sampling of just from comps, even though I don't own any actual albums.

If money were no object, what would you be doing with your life?

Living in California, working as a director of films/theater and writer of same plus books.

Money is just that - an object, so why aren’t you doing it?

“I don’t think the State does enough for artists and writers generally in the way of subsidy and tax relief and so on-I mean, as an artist and a writer, I have to be surrounded by beautiful things and beautiful people-and beautiful people cost money.”

–Alan Bennett, On The Margin

What’s better: horses or cows? Horses.

What do you think the secret to happiness is?

I knew that, you think I'd be answering meme questions on a saturday afternoon?

When was the last time you had a dream that you either remember well or did not want to awake from? Can you share a bit?

Last night. No.

When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Besides a Ghostbusting Jedi Knight Time Lord? Willie Aames. Only because he got to swim naked with a 19-year-old Phoebe Cates. Oh, ok, not when I was a little kid...when I was a little kid I wanted to sing on Broadway.

Yes, I wanted to sing on Broadway and I also lusted after Phoebe Cates, okay? I am large, I contain multitudes.

Complete this statement: Love is…

Well in my Lexicon, Love is...: the air.

...all, love is new
Love is all, love is you

My love is your love
Our love is here to stay

Love is a hot bitch (see below).
Can you tell a good story? Well I couldn't write Dr. Doolitte II or Jurassic Park 3 or Firefly, if that's what you mean.

Can you remember your last daydream? What was it about? Probably just the everyday one where I win one of those lotteries where you get $500 every week for the rest of your life.

If you were to thank someone today, who would you thank? Corey, for recommending I look on Craisglist for a new TV, and for sending me a package of Torchwood/Doctor Who/Sarah Jane Smith DVDs.

I'm tagging Kelly.

(The illustrations are optional...really the whole thing is, of course.)

I'm stuffing the ballot box for Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Veronica Mars the Kristin's blog Save One Show poll on E!, that is.

As Kristin says,
Now, lest you think this silly little poll doesn't really make a difference, let me remind you that our Save One Show campaign has a solid track record, having successfully rescued five out of six winning shows. And if I had a nickel for every time a castmember or producer told me our SOS singlehandedly saved them...well, I bet I'd have a whole dollar.

So yeah, I concede that voting in this poll-especially for shows whose chances seem as dim, and/or whose ratings have been as low, as Studio 60 & Veronica-is kind of like the woman in the old Jewish joke who brings chicken soup for a man at his funeral. It probably won't help, but..."it couldn't hoit!"

Vote early, vote often.

Okay, the "U.S. House sets deadline for pullout" thing

Okay, first, this piece from a couple of weeks ago, because a certain detail just caught my eye:

House Democratic leaders vowed Thursday to pass legislation setting a deadline of Sept. 1, 2008, for the withdrawal of U.S. combat troops from Iraq, a challenge to President Bush's war policy that drew a blunt veto threat in return.

Hey, wait a minute. Sept. 1, 2008 is my 37th birthday. They can't end the war on Sept. 1, 2008!...Who the hell decided the war had to end on Sept. 1, 2008, huh?! This whole thing is a plot against me, isn't it?!

Now on to the latest story:

...for Nancy Pelosi, House passage of legislation ordering troops home from Iraq next year was sweet victory.

"The American people have lost faith in the president's conduct of this war," said Pelosi, D-Calif. "The American people see the reality of the war, the president does not."

Just over an hour following the vote, Bush angrily accused Democrats of playing politics and renewed his promise to veto the spending legislation if it included their withdrawal timetable, despite administration claims the money is needed next month by troops.

I'm just going to assume the sheer head-turned-roundness of Bush "angrily accusing" anybody of playing politics is self evident, and move on to:
"These Democrats believe that the longer they can delay funding for our troops, the more likely they are to force me to accept restrictions on our commanders..."[Bush] said.

Yes. It certainly would suck if someone provided so little funds to the troops that, oh I don't know, we couldn't afford to buy them armor. And their parents had to raise money to provide it themselves as though the war were a church bazaar or something.

Or, if from the beginning we had forced our commanders to accept restrictions such as going into this war with fewer troops than they said they needed to win. Therefore making it impossible to win even if it were legal, right, and had no stink of shame attached to it whatsoever.

Yeah, whoever did that would certainly be deserving of our scorn.
Voting for the House bill were 216 Democrats and two Republicans -- Wayne Gilchrest of Maryland and Walter Jones of North Carolina. Of the 212 members who opposed it, 198 were Republicans and 14 were Democrats.

Absolutely no prizes for guessing from which state one of the Democrats who opposed the bill hails. If you have to think about it for even a obviously haven't been reading this blog long.

Friday, March 23, 2007

No lesbians in women's sports? Is she insane?

Rene Portland turned Penn State into one of the top programs in women's college basketball.

In the end, her highly successful 27-year tenure as Lady Lions head coach may be remembered just as much for allegations that she may have discriminated against lesbian players.

Penn State announced Portland's resignation Thursday, more than a month after the coach and university settled a lawsuit from a former player who claimed Portland had a "no-lesbian" policy on her team.

I don't really have too much more to add to this except the headline. What next, no male gays in dance or bodybuilding?

Here's a little more about this woman who may have been a succesful basketball coach, but not much of a human being.

Portland was criticized in the past for comments regarding homosexuality. In 1986, she told the Chicago Sun-Times she didn't allow lesbians to play on her team. In a 1991 story in The Philadelphia Inquirer, several former players, recruits and colleagues of Portland said the coach did not tolerate homosexuality among her players.

And wouldn't you just love to have heard those tryout interviews...

"Well Gwen, you shoot great and have excellent use of the fundementals. But let me ask you this: Have you eaten any pussies lately?"

"Gosh no, coach, like all my teammates, I only love cock!"

"Excellent! We can use you then..."

Yay! Mel Gibson is angry again!

Actor-Director Mel Gibson exploded in anger at a professor at Cal State University Northridge on Thursday after a screening of his film "Apocolypto."

Gibson became angry at CSUN professor Alicia Estrada after she accused Gibson of stereotyping and inaccurately portraying the Mayan culture in the graphic movie.

"He told her to `f--- off lady, get a history book and read,"' said Josue Guagan, a student in attendance at the late-night screening of the film.

"I was shocked about his response. I thought he would be more civilized and it would be educational," Guagan said.

Y'know, as someone who has written a piece of fiction which deals in part with a culture that I am not necessarily a member of, I can certainly emphasize with Gibson's sensitivity over...

I'm kidding of course. This is beautiful.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

I have no excuse or rationalization for running this photo of Winona Ryder

I'm running it for exactly the reason you think I am.

I could make a lot of sniggering tit jokes, but fortunately, TMZ's already taken care of that. So I'm just saying: I appreciate Ms. Ryder's work. I also appreciate Ms. Ryder's chest. I'm not the slightest bit guilty about this, so there, nosiree.

Who do I root for in a case like this?

Justin Timberlake vs. the state of Tennessee.

Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves

Again via Feministing, the delightful story of a couple of bartending women in San Francisco who observed one of the fouler members of my sex slipping white pills into his date's drink...and what they did about it.


Wednesday, March 21, 2007

It's been too long since I've linked something by our man Mariano

"...the unofficial official 'mystery artist' of Dictionopolis in Digitopolis." So let's rectify that right away.

R.I.P; Larry "Bud" Melman

Calvert DeForest, aka Larry "Bud" Melman of the David Letterman shows, has died. I couldn't find my best-remembered moment of his (eight words: "And everywere...the smell of men, enjoying themselves"), but I think you'll enjoy this clip. It's from when the Late Show was in Los Angeles in 1994.

You'll want to be sure to watch all the way to the end...

A song named after Annabel (if we're not going to quibble over spelling and we're not), and more

Remember when I was talking a while back about a CD I got for review which turned my head around? Because the title and first word of the first song was the same as one of my characters (more than less-see qualifier in the headline)?

Well, that review is up at Ink 19.

The band is Hail Social-you can play a few songs on their myspace page.

"You're 18 years old and you're wearing somebody's brains around on your shirt because they got their head blown off right next to you..."

"...and that's not supposed to affect you. I've never understood that. What would scare me, is if we were to send a group of 18 year olds 12, 000 miles away , and subject them to, a year of that obsenity, and have them not be affected. That's what would frighten me."
-Solider soundbyte in Paul Hardcastle's 19

Lengthy, moving story here on how female soldiers are experiencing the Iraq war, from the New York Times. Many of them are suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and other serious mental health issues. It'll make you sick to your stomach, it'll chill your blood, it'll make you want to cry.

Or maybe that was just me.

Objectively speaking, the fact that we, as a nation, put anybody through this, man or woman, for no good reason...

Almost solely, I believe, because Karl Rove thought it would be a good way to consolidate the Republicans' power...I'm tired of feeling like it's naive to ask: Why isn't every man and woman responsible for that abomination on trial right now? That ought to be at the least an impeachable offense.

Not for the first time, I find myself recognizing in myself and identifying with many symptoms described. I have issues with perpetrators who don't take responsibility.

But...this whole thing is so big and so out of control. And the people making the decisions have so little if any idea what they're doing, or what they've done.

Thanks to Jessica at Feministing for posting the link.

Well I've always known that, frankly.

Letters, oh we get letters...

A'mee writes:

I was messing around on that "Conservapedia" site that you were talking about a while back, clicking the random link button (yes, I'm bored tonight) and snickering at some of the stupid shit that comes up, when I happened across this link....

Appparently, we women are just THAT offensive!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Get away, Tucker. Do go on and tell me all about it.

How long has it been since I've mentioned to you that Tucker Carlson is an awful human being?
Tucker on Sen. Clinton: "[T]here's just something about her that feels castrating, overbearing, and scary"
On the March 20 edition of MSNBC's Tucker, host Tucker Carlson noted that a 1984-inspired attack ad posted on characterizes Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) "as an Orwellian Big Sister" and proceeded to endorse this depiction of Clinton, saying, "But there's just something about her that feels castrating, overbearing, and scary." Carlson maintained: "I mean, you've gotta admit, when you watch that, it does get right to heart of people's instinctive problems with Hillary, which don't have to do with policy."

Silly fuckin' me, Tuck. There I was thinking my problems with Hillary had to do with things like her...

  • Having voted for the Iraq war.
  • Being slow to admit her terrible mistake.
  • Not being woman enough to say "you were right, and I was wrong" to the grassroots that tried to tell her.
  • Support of legalized gaybashing like the "Defense of Marriage" Act.
  • Signing on to meaningless right-wing issues like Flag-Burning legislation.

And I haven't even mentioned (because it isn't a policy-related reason to have a problem with her) the fact that her sense of humor is such evident horseshit. She thought it would be funny to compare a former President of the United States-and her husband-to a murderous terrorist. That was like watching a bad SNL sketch.

But none of the actual policy-related reasons up there are really why I have a problem with her. It's because I'm afraid she's going to cut my balls off. You've got me there, Tuck. It's because strong women are scawy to bratty, bow tie wearing faux-journalist liars like me who equate blocking the entrance of a building with murder.

Oh wait, Tucker...that's you.

Yes, White House. Take Tom DeLay's advice. That's a good idea...

Yahoo! News has an analysis of how Bush's onetime allies are-oh, what is the phrase-cutting and running. You can read it if you like but it probably won't tell you anything you don't already know.

As it becomes more and more plain how unpopular his war is, and how little support he himself has, the inhabitants of Washington, D.C. are showing their own particular brand of political courage.

But this is the part I love.
"This is just a taste of what it's going to be like for the next two years," said former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, R-Texas. He told NBC's "Today" show the White House "ought to be fighting back" harder.

Yes, White House. Please. Listen to Tom DeLay, a man whose name is synonymous with corruption. That's exactly what you need. And god bless you, "Today" show and NBC for continuing to treat him as though he should be taken seriously in any way.

I miss you, Molly Ivins. This would've been like the second coming for you.

That poor dear Uma Thurman STILL just can't keep a man

Or, depending on how you want to look at it, maybe none of the deficient men she's had so far can keep Uma satisfied.

Now this is funny

Y'know, even if I had a fully functioning TV at the moment, which I don't, I wouldn't have watched Dancing with the Stars last night. Even if aforementioned nutbag Heather Mills hadn't been on it.

However, this is fucking funny. Her score?


You smooth talker

Robbie Williams is out of rehab and already breakin' hearts in Los Angeles.

TMZ spotted the British pop star locking lips with an unknown brunette inside BOULEVARD3 last night, and then just minutes later, hitting on a stacked blonde outside the club.

A recently rehabbed Robbie also proclaimed, "I'm almost off all drugs," before telling the blonde, "I like this country ... not as much as I like your breasts though."


Christian comedian Keith Deltano has been performing at a number of high schools in Loudon County, Virginia this year with the intent of pushing abstinence-only education through comedy. How does he do this, do you ask? By dangling a cinderblock over a male students' crotch to demonstrate the ineffectiveness of condoms against HIV.

Via Feministing. Emphasis theirs. The words that jumped out at me were, first, "Christian comedian." These are not words I expect to see together that often. I know there are exceptions, but "Christians" lot in life seems to be to demonstrate against comedy and comedians. And assure us all anyone who takes the church to task in any way is a bad person.

And...last time I checked...condoms were very effective against HIV, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases and a little thing I like to call pregnancy. This guys going around telling high school students that they're not?

On the other hand, if this guy's doing comedy to push an agenda, it'll never work. Someone like Stephen Colbert has made his name (and gotten his name on an ice cream flavor) because he's a very funny improv comedian, not because he has an agenda.

Still, sure will be interesting to see the STD/pregnancy numbers from Virginia a few months from now.

Okay, baby

My writing sample and assorted attached papers are in the mail. Thanks to those of you who offered your suggestions or just goodwill and good luck on the cover letter.

The cherry blossoms have begun to fall at the post office; to one with so keen an eye as I have for potential metaphor and signs, it gave me a good feeling.

Also, I've been very lucky with the radio lately. Usually, I drive wth tapes, but sometimes, when I'm in a hurry and don't have time to grab a couple, I just let the "scan" fuction be my guide.

(This is how I came to invent a little game: Any time you drive in Seattle with the radio scan function on, it is only a matter of time before you hear something by Sting and/or The Police. This almost never fails. I know they're popular everywhere, but jeez, they're really popular in Seattle. Today, it was "If You Love Somebody Set Them Free." But that's not the song I want to tell you about)

Driving back here from the post office, I had another one of those experiences of a radio station playing just what I needed to hear even before I realized I needed to hear it. You see, ever since I got that e-mail from the Agency saying they would be happy (their word) to read a sample of my work, I've been divided.

Part of me, as you can probably well imagine, is breathless with anticipation. The other part is telling that part to keep calm. At times like these, you need something incredibly meaningless, and I use the words literally. You need something both meaningless . . . and incredible.

You need:

Monday, March 19, 2007

Huey Lewis For The New Millennium

Blue Gal, AKA Our Lady the Religious Liberal w/the Disembodied Panties, has put together a satirical lyric based on the Huey Lewis and the News top 10 hit, "I Want A New Drug."


I want a new church.
One with some doubt.
And where peace, love, and understanding
Is what we're about.

One that won't make me nervous
Or one of the chosen few,
But kind of a Christian version
Of a Non-religious Jew.

Read the whole thing. You won't be sorry.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Random Flickr-blogging 0088

After 25 years of therapy, and getting to grips with her sexuality...Christine Returns!


And some people wonder why I want to move back to San Francisco....

This must have been fun to watch

Felicity Huffman roughs up Jessica Alba and makes her cry.

Oh sure, Jessica can dress tough...

Beat this! Looking for the perfect beat...We are the future, you are the past

I was gonna post a few links that I e-mailed to a couple of my pals this afternoon, but then I realized that they all came from the mighty Zaius Nation's prescription. So I might as well just send you over there.

But just so you know what you're getting into...

'80s commercials. 50 of 'em. Plus a link to 50 more.

Goofy white men in even goofier costumes, including one who looks like George W. Bush.

And, I doubt this will interest many of you, but there is a link to a series of pictures of a rather attractive young lady all accoutred in a Batgirl T-Shirt and black lace panties. At least, that's what she starts out wearing. Whether you want to see what she ends up with is between you and your shame.

Finally, a 45-second animated (sorta) clip of Calvin and Hobbes. There seems to be a whole genre of these on YouTube, but the one Zaius linked to is probably the best.

These and, as they say, much much more!