I am a mass of contradictions

There's this woman named Lara Logan; she's the Chief Foreign Correspondent for CBS News. As I stopped watching network TV news long ago, I admit I had never heard of her before Crooks and Liars linked to a segment of her being interviewed.

On a CNN program, she responds to the criticism that people have an unrealistic picture of Iraq, because terrorist-sympathizers like herself keep reporting only the bad news. She comes off as firm, eloquent, calm and assertive.

Everything you want in a Foreign Correspondent, I say. So, I thought, who is this woman who seems so learned and sensitive? A quick Yahoo! search yields the following information. According to her official CBS News bio,

Logan was the only American network journalist in Baghdad when American troops invaded the city, reporting live from Firdos Square as the statue of Saddam fell. Her reporting from the frontlines of Afghanistan and with the Green Berets searching for Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden appeared on 60 Minutes II, where she was a contributor from 2002 to 2004, and on the CBS Evening News, The Early Show and CBS News Radio, for which she served as a general assignment reporter.

Before formally joining CBS News in 2002, Logan already had 14 years of journalism experience, including 10 years in the international broadcast news arena...She reported on the war in Afghanistan, Middle East violence, the Mozambique floods, the land invasions in Zimbabwe and the India earthquake...Logan also served as a freelance correspondent for CNN (1998-99), covering the U.S. embassy bombings in Nairobi and Tanzania, the conflict in Northern Ireland and the war in Kosovo, among other stories.

She got her start in broadcast journalism in Africa as a senior producer for Reuters Television (1992-96).

Her work has earned her four American Women in Radio and Television Gracie Awards: in 2004 for Individual Achievement for Best Reporter/Correspondent; in 2003 for Best News Story for her CBS Evenign News report on the attempted assassination of Afghan President Hamid Kharzi; in 2002 for Best News Story for her CBS News Radio coverage of the war in Afghanistan; and in 2000 for Best News Story for her CBS News Radio coverage of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

I don't know about you, but that's what I call a reasonably impressive resume for a hardworking, serious and experienced journalist. I also note ruefully that she's the exact same age as I am. Dear god, what have I done with my life...but, I digress.

I confess a weakness for women journalists anyway-Molly Ivins and especially Linda Ellerbee have been among my personal heroes. Ms. Logan is probably not perfect-network TV news, let's not forget-but she seems to be the kind of woman I deeply admire. And if I had a daughter, the kind of woman I would hope she would deeply admire, or take as a role model (along with the likes of, say, Holly Hunter).

In some ways she seems to be the kind of woman I like to write, too; compassionate, driven, with a good sense of herself, poised.

(Keitha: What are we, ballerinas?)

(Annabel: Shh!)

Now-I mentioned contradictions earlier. And there's a reason why I've carefully listed Ms. Logan's credits, journalistic experience and awards up top here, to make the case for her. It's because I don't want you to think of me as I thought of the republican FreeRepublic.com board when I saw a certain comment they'd posted about her:

CBS News Decides to Emphasize Breasts Over Brains!

See, everything I've said about the sense I got of Ms. Logan from that clip, and by doing a little research into her work, is true. It is also true that the very first thing that turned my head about her is the fact that she is cute as a button.

How cute? Well, apparently, she worked as a swimsuit model while in high school and college. That's how cute. Something that some of her (I'm guessing) less-cute colleagues and critics are quick to point out.

Indeed, two or three of them seem to have what I would deem an unhealthy obsession with her cup size. Because, god forbid a woman should look good in a bathing suit (or have other physical charms) yet also be a seasoned, accomplished and compassionate reporter. As Ralph Wiggum would say, that's unpossible.

To make matters worse, they say, she may use her good looks to her advantage in her work. Yes, I was shocked too. But frankly, her response to such sniping only makes me admire her more.

A New York Times story from last year quoted her,

Over a recent lunch in Manhattan, during a break in her coverage of the Saddam Hussein trial, Ms. Logan said, "There isn't a journalist alive who won't admit to you they use every advantage they have."

In that respect, she said, she was no different from the generations of male reporters who had employed various means to ingratiate themselves with the military. "Some guys come from a military background, and they'll use that," she said. "Some guys are very sporty, and they'll play on the sporty thing."

"As a woman, I have lots of advantages you don't have," she told a male interviewer. "I can be vulnerable. Usually you don't have to do anything. Men do it to themselves. They feel like they want to protect you."

Shuffle in my seat, snort, I don't know what she's talking about...my god nobody hurt you, did they baby? Come here, I'll tell you everything!

So anyway, yes, ahem, contradictions. As I was saying. On the one hand, I genuinely like the kind of mind this woman seems to have. On the other...oh my god, she's gorgeous.

This has been a review of the precarious position in which you'll find a lot of us liberal, "non-macho" heterosexual men.