Not a lot of surprises, but I thought that was kind of fun

So...um...was it me, or were the Oscars kind of wonderful? Not just because "my" Katie finally won, (tho it is great to see her with one in her hand...as the bishop said of the actress).

On a more serious tip, her asking her dad to whistle so she'd know where he is, and then him doing it immediately, was both touching and funny.

Sean Penn for Milk, you gotta love his speech's opening line: "You Commie, homo-loving sons-of-guns..."

It was just, for once...a pretty darn good show, I thought. There were some shaky moments, but on the whole I found the evening quite charming.

One shaky moment: The idea of having the acting nominees saluted by five actors who had previously won in their category. These came off best when the speaker had some personal connection to "their" nominee, and could speak as a friend.

Again, Milk seemed to bring out the best in people. I also loved Robert DeNiro's line: "How did Sean Penn ever get all those roles as straight men?"

When there wasn't such an evident connection, this seemed just an opportunity for some actors to choke up some "emotion," (which actors need to be kept from with a whip and a chair). Or to remind young folks that they had once won the Oscar, their subsequent careers notwithstanding.

(Aside to Cuba Gooding Jr: "Brothers" don't need to work. You need to work. Don't think we don't know what you were saying.)

And the montages of previous winners were clearly unnecessary. Especially when they were followed by a second montage just to introduce the presenters. One or the other, please.

Another jarring moment: Bill Maher reminding me why I've never warmed to him or given him much credence as a political commentator: He just cannot seem to get his own dick out of his mouth.

Let me explain what I mean. Maher gave the award for best documentary, which was scheduled right after best supporting actor which, to the surprise of absolutely no one, went to the late Heath Ledger. Ledger’s father, mother and sister had accepted on his behalf.

It was a genuinely lovely moment, even if you're not deeply familiar with Ledger's work, which I'm not. So then Maher walks out and passes a remark about how "Everybody's crying and now I have to come out. Great."

Hey, Bill: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!

Oh, and speaking of non-surprises, Wall-E won for best animated feature.

This means that the Academy of Motion Pictures now has a better sense of the art than the "Annie" awards.

(Kung-Fu Panda, for cripes sake...)

Can we talk about the musical numbers? How they were--again, for once--sort of a joy to behold? I enjoyed Hugh Jackman's "homemade" opener (methinks I heard the voice of Vilanch) maybe even more than he clearly enjoyed performing it and yes, Anne Hathaway's turn "as" Richard Nixon.

Even if I am filled with a deep and abiding hatred for Hugh Jackman when I look at the below photo.



If Nixon had looked like that, David Frost would be a tea boy today.

I also liked the tribute to musicals--but wish Jackman hadn't seemed so desperately to be trying to justify it.

You're a gifted singer and dancer, Hugh, and you had others such with you. That's all the justification you needed.
None of this nonsense about how, "The musical is back."

Anyway, surely that happened when Chicago won for best picture...I'm not saying I agree with that win (I don't), but you'd think...

And Will Smith? Your little crack about action movies having something films in other genres do not--"Fans"--made no sense. If you'd said "ticket buyers," maybe. But every kind and style movie has fans. Tyler Perry has fans, animation has fans, romantic comedies have fans.

Hell, even a movie as thin and unfunny as Wild Wild West has fans...I assume.

As long as I'm being a complete bitch here, I'd like to ask a question about Robert Pattinson. This question is for the prepubescent girls of the world, and the question is: Seriously? This, by you, is a hunk?

I mean, I've gone for the pretty ones in my day, too, but at least Jamie Lee Curtis seems to have a definite personality and can actually, y'know...speak words. Hell, even Sharon Stone...but I've drifted from my original question, which again, was: Seriously?

Speaking of those we'd like to see naked, I haven't seen Penelope Cruz's now Oscar-winning performance in Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona, but I liked what she said about roles for women.

It gives me hope, I tells ya--at least a very little bit. Sometimes that's all you need, to get up in the morning.

BTW, it's Cruz I'd like to see naked, not Woody Allen (but you got that, right?).

Mentioning Woody Allen brings me to Jerry Lewis. I have no problem with his winning the special Oscar, but I just wish they'd shown more of the entertainer alongside the Great Humanitarian stuff.

And one last observation, at least for tonight: Natalie Portman's gown was hot. But she didn't know how to move in it.



PS: That was the last observation except for this--I thought Tina Fey and Steve Martin were sexy and funny...respectively.