Cool Canadian Questions

Kal plays turnabout:

1. Who would you change places with in this world if you could?

This is a trickier question than it may appear. 'Cause first I was thinking of a musician like Vince Guaraldi in the 1960s (in other words, a really good piano player).



Or one of Jack Benny's writers during the late 1940s. This is probably my second-favorite decade after, of course, the '80s.

This brings up the possibility of my being a sequencer/synthesizer programmer in 1985...
...However, I digress.

Then I thought maybe this should be somebody in the world today.

And then I further went on to think: Change places? So this isn't just about whose life I'd wish to step into, it's about who I'd wish my life upon. Which means that I could choose a crazy asshole like Inhofe, but do I really want to be the Republican Senator from Oklahoma? I think not.

Or I could just be cute and say "Summer Glau's boyfriend," but that sort of thing is going to come up in the next question...

2. With the love you show for all the ladies, who would you most like to be attached to on a daily basis.

What an odd way to phrase it. Presumably you mean, of all the lovely ladies who populate my blogs past and present, who would I most like to have a real relationship with if I could?

Well, it would have to be somebody who is of a similar frame of mind to me politically. Carville and Matalin aside, I just don't think mixed-party-marriages work.

Sexy goes without saying.

And it would be cool if she was an artist, too, only maybe I wouldn't want her to be another writer (we're terribly untrustworthy).

She should be bright.

She should like at least some of the same movies I like (the Saws, though again it would be nice, would not be a deal breaker).

Oh, and she should be gay-friendly and have a good sense of humor.

Put 'em together and what have you got?


...Anne Hathaway.

What were the odds?

3. What would you design as a saw trap for you most hated enemy. Who would that enemy be and why so specific at death?

Forgive me, I feel a Saw-geek moment coming on. The work of Jigsaw is not to design traps for hated enemies, it's to give people who were wasting their lives a test to see how much they value that life, and what price they will pay to keep it.

It's to help people detach from the negative emotions that are keeping them from advancing. The aim is not death, but a newly-cherished life, and the most vengeful thing about a good Jigsaw trap is that it rubs your nose in the flaws of your own life or perspective.

That said...I did come up with a trap on the Saw board I read, last month, that I kinda love. It's a variation on this test in VI:

In the second test, Jigsaw's puppet informs William that he must choose to save either his file clerk or secretary, named Allen and Addy (Shawn Ahmed and Janelle Hutchison) respectively, and let the other die. In the end, William chooses to save Addy, and Allen is hanged by a barbed wire noose when his platform retracts.

In my variant, the test subject is one of those "I'm not a bigot, BUT," or "I don't hate (minority X), BUT" types. In other words: Someone who is a hateful bigot but won't admit it.

He or she must choose to save either a straight, white criminal (let's say it's something REAL hard to forgive, like a child molester) or a successful, law-abiding member of the minority group they despise.

4. What moment in your life, knowing what you do now would you most like to redo? and why?

Ah...I'm afraid I have to choose not to answer this. I do have an answer, and a few people know what it is (and actually, there's an element of a previous answer which relates to it), but it's not something I really want to get into here on a public blog and all.

5. Who would you most like to have lunch with that is living today? What would you ask them?

Who?

Shannon Marie Woodward and Liza Weil.

What would I ask them?

"You wanna read a script?"