It's things like this that make me want to call for a violent overthrow of the United States government

ATMs a mystery to senator

The Nebraska Democrat [Sen. Ben Nelson] pleaded ignorance when asked this week whether Congress should cap ATM fees. Nelson said that while he's no fan of unnecessary fees, he's unfamiliar with the charges.

“I've never used an ATM, so I don't know what the fees are,” Nelson said, adding that he gets his cash from bank tellers, just not automatic ones.

Wait, it gets better.

“But I could learn how to do it just like I've . . . I swipe to get my own gas, buy groceries. I know about the holograms.”

Holograms?

By “holograms,” Nelson clarified that he meant the bar codes on products read by automatic scanners in the checkout lanes at stores such as Lowe's and Menard's.

Oh, sure, I can see how--what?

However, lest you think Nelson leads a completely pampered life inside a bubble, he insists:

“I go and get my own seating assignment on an airplane,” Nelson said.

Well! Aren't you a big boy?