Contempt Prior to Investigation

I haven't seen any of the films on Yahoo!'s list of "The 10 Biggest Movie Flops of 2011 (So Far)," but that's not going to keep me from Schadenfreude about some of them...and/or use them as an excuse to run some photos of aesthetic young women...

THE BEAVER

Yahoo! sez:

Many saw it as a referendum on Mel Gibson, who stars in the $20 million film.

That may well be. But personally, I think they might've had a chance of selling a few more tickets if the director had taken a possessory credit.

MARS NEEDS MOMS

It's possible you may never know the joy that it gave me when this latest motion-capture eyesore by that dullard Robert Zemeckis fell flat.

ARTHUR

Teach them to try to remake one of my two favorite romantic comedies...

PROM

Actually this one I don't care one way or the other about, except that I'm sorry Aimee Teegarden of Friday Night Lights hasn't had a smooth transition into films.

JUDY MOODY AND THE NOT BUMMER SUMMER

A film where Heather Graham stays completely dressed. Who would've thought that would fail?

GREEN LANTERN

All I know is that from the first time I saw Ryan Reynolds in a trailer, I said, "That's not Hal Jordan."

PRIEST

I freely admit this is pure sexual jealousy, but I think it's just beautiful whenever Jennifer Connelly's husband goes splat.

SUCKER PUNCH

Nothing for me to say about this one except that the characters had lovely bodies (at
least, based on the posters, which as we all know are never deceptive).

But it does give me a chance to plug one of my favorite Podcasts: How Did This Get Made?

I'm feeling a little pressed for time, so I'm just going to copy and paste the description from their web page:

Have you ever seen a movie so bad that it's amazing? Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael and Jason Mantzoukas want to hear about it! We'll watch it with our funniest friends, and report back to you with the results.

And finally--

HOODWINKED TOO! GOOD VS EVIL

I knew this didn't have a chance when I heard they'd made the inexplicable decision to replace Anne Hathaway as a voice performer.

(Rio made $140.5M--You hear what I'm saying to you?)