Friday, February 10, 2012

Tumble 4 Ya Blogfest: My 80's Crush(es)



(Or, "I pretty much had to do this, didn't I?")

Ah, the '80s. How I loved them. How I want them back. The golden age of so many things: Television ("my" Doctor Who!)Photobucket

music (New wave! Synthpop! Hall and Oates! The Go-Gos!), comics (the FIRST New Teen Titans!),



movies (The Karate Kid! Tron!)



hair,
"playmates."...










...and playmates with hair if you know what I mean and I think you do...



So when I see via my buddy Timothy Brannan's Facebook feed that there's a Blogfest on '80s Crushes today, well you know I'm all over it.

As is my wont with things like this, however, I'm not going to limit myself to just one choice. But I'll start with...

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Madonna 1983-1989. The goddess years. I still think she was a better interpretive artist than she's ever been a creative one, and I disagreed when she started assuming sexism everywhere if people just didn't like her work.

Early into the '90s, the needle started to slip over into pathetic on a whole lot of levels, and she's never wholly made it back. The Madonna I knew would never have promised not to be naughty at the Super Bowl. (You know why? Because the Madonna I knew was...

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But oh, those first seven years or so, she was such a...

Then there's one Miss Caren Kaye, who I've decided to put in to represent all the '80s actresses who still hold special places in my...



...heart. Let's just say heart.

Oh, but okay, I have to throw in Betsy Russell, too. Not only because she was a c-or-d-cup all American sexual icon to boys my age in the '80s.

But because fully a quarter of a century later, her presence in them would be one of the things which led me to my pathological obsession with the Saw film franchise.





Oh hell, Virginia Madsen. This whole pick-one-actress-to-represent-all-of-them idea isn't working.

But I can't leave out Miss Madsen--I've been "in love," and saying my idea of heaven would be a never-ending hot shower with her, since roughly 1985.

Plus I think if I were a woman I'd admire her too, albeit for a different reason: For managing to age gracefully. She's been open about her use of Botox, and maybe as a result of that openness, she hasn't seemed to overdo it as some have.

Speaking of The New Teen Titans, as I was up top there, I'm going to include Tara Markov, AKA Terra, too. Sure, she was fictional. That didn't stop her from breaking my heart and the heart of every other boy my age (or at least the comic-reading straight ones).

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Staying with the theme of comics, but coming back to the real world for this one: The great parodist Julie Earth Girls Are Easy/"Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun" Brown.

A great-looking woman with fabulous breasts who can not only play, but write comedy. What the hell more do you want out of life?



BTW, it is a measure of the miracle age in which we're now living that two of these women have "friended," and actually interacted to a small degree, with mine humble self on Facebook.

4 comments:

Timothy Brannan said...

Gotta love the near boob-shot from Peri/Nicola Bryant.

Great post.

Ben Varkentine said...

Thanks, but you know, there's some perfectly clear boob shots in there too...

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

What a terrific post. I was right there with you my brother. I did love Betsy myself. Her naked horse ride is right up there with Phoebie Cates coming out of the pool is 'Fast Times'. Saw Elizabeth Shue on this week's CSI and she still got it.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Oh Terra, how could you ever work with a scumbag like Slade? He didn't turn you, you where so angry already and he just exploited your pain.