Ladies, I still say: If we can see your ribs, you're too skinny.

Thought upon seeing the new "Miss USA."

If you Google "dictionopolis in digitopolis nudity"...

......the first four results are all from this blog.

Fair enough, I suppose, but I do try to mix it up a bit.





Perhaps more oddly (or not), two of the posts are about Kate Winslet.

maura tierney update

You longtime readers know that I like to look in on Tierney from time to time, simply because she is TPWFMA.

So what's she up to these days? She'll be appearing in Three Hotels, by Jon Robin Baitz, at The Williamstown Theatre Festival in Mass.

Her co-star is Stephen Weber, best known to most from Wings, but to me from Jeffrey and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

I don't know the play, but based on their previous work, I would expect good things. Too bad I won't be able to see it unless my circumstances change drastically before the end of the month.

At any rate, there is your Maura Tierney Update. That is all.

In the Republican debate Monday night, Rick "man on dog" Santorum said this:

"You can look at my record. Not only have I been consistently pro-life, but I've ... taken the bullets to go out there and fight for this and lead on those issues."

You motherfucker. People on your side are actually shooting doctors to death and you're willing to mock that by casting yourself as some kind of red-state Superman? ("The bullets just bounce off my chest!)"

You utter, total and complete son of a bitch mockery of a human being.

(And BTW...if you're not familiar with ole' "man on dog," may I suggest you Google him? In fact...even if you are. Google him. Maybe Google him twice. Be sure to click on two or three of the results.)

Juste de temps à autre… je dois être rappelé ceci.

Sandra Lou -Banana split
Uploaded by benja21

That's okay, Anthony, I made a mistake too

I thought you were single.

You unbelieveable jackass.

Today's contestant comes to us from an Android on the T-Mobile USA network (which is also the network I use, BTW) in Springdale, Arkansas...

That's right, friends. It's another exciting episode of...

"Who's searching for me now?"

Beautiful.

"This is part of the problem with the way this has progressed and one of the reasons I was perhaps, you'll forgive me, a little stiff yesterday," [Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY)] said.

That's it. I want this man to run for president.

The Congressman is doing interviews with CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News to discuss the matter.

"I'm doing them in order of....something," he told reporters.

"Size," Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) said, interrupting him from nearby.

"That's what I didn't need right now," Weiner replied.

Can I ask something? Exactly what law would the Congressman have broken even if the picture is of him, and he did "tweet" it to that young woman? I don't believe he did, but if he had, so what? He's single. She's an adult.

I guess some might say it's creepy for an older man to pursue a much younger woman...but Newt Gingrich and John McCain better not be among them...

More fun with headlines

Billy Ray Cyrus Admits He Could Have Been a Better Father

Rest of country admits: We agree.

Somehow I just know that the funniest thing about this movie is going to be its existence

See if you can count the contradictions in this sentence: Rev. Ted Haggard will make a cameo as himself in a Christian sex comedy promoting abstinence, with the tagline "abstinence never felt so good."

Called The Waiting Game, the movie follows a schlub named Jack who's super excited about finally losing his virginity on his wedding night, but is foiled when his fiancee leaves him at the altar.

Rich Praytor, one of the producers, acknowledged the similarities between The Waiting Game and Virgin. "I love all the Judd Apatow movies -- '40 Year Old Virgin,' 'Knocked Up,' 'Superbad' -- they're all great," he told the Colarado Springs Gazette.

Sigh. Look, I've tried to tell you this before. Conservative republicans are not funny. There are no funny conservative republicans. They don't exist. Only people with a history of connections to unfunny things make conservative republican comedies.

Candace Cameron, of Full House fame, is also attached to the project as Jack's love interest.

Case in point.

Here now, a word from our (non) sponsor

My pal Corey Klemow is featured in this commercial. It was made for a contest that Chevy had, and took fifth place! Right now it's just on YouTube, but if it gets enough views, who knows where it could end up?

Oh, and Corey's the guy who answers the door.

On behalf of Jane Wiedlin*, I resent that

Sarah Palin gets to tell her side of things in an [self-produced] "epic," two-hour-long, $1 million movie that portrays her as a "Joan of Arc-like figure"

Joan of Arc? So they're saying she's a cross-dressing witch that hears voices in her head and believes she has a divine mission?

...yeah, I could see that.

BTW, the movies title is...The Undefeated.

The Undefeated?

Sarah Palin lost the election to be the vice-president. That was a defeat. Shouldn't it be...The Loser?

She also famously quit in the middle of her term as Alaska Governor. The Quitter?

The film argues that Palin took on powerful interests and won major accomplishments quickly,

Name three.

*To say nothing of Orchestral Maneuvers in The Dark.

Haven't done one of these for a while...

I'd like to recommend this NPR interview with Gretchen Morgenson, co-author of a new book upon the the financial crisis.

‎"Bridesmaids" might well be a great movie...

...but the commercials make it look like it was lit by the same people who do restroom florescents

Headlines that should have been rephrased

Thor Finishes On Top Of Bridesmaids

Okay. I don't really know who Mónica Farro is, but...

... I have my doubts about her having been born a woman.

I think I just found where I have to draw a line.

Okay. You know how there's been a lot of hand-wringing in recent years about how girls are dressing way too provocatively way too young?

And you know how the go-to shot at girls like that (and implied shot at the parents) is "You look like a whore? Right.



Look, between you, me and the lamppost, and as I referred to yesterday, I'd be a hypocrite if I said I don't care to look at young women in sexy clothes, and bras and things. (But then, I also enjoy seeing older women like that. My fantasy age range spreads from Kim Cattrall to Kristen Stewart.)



So, I don't really join in the "slutwear shaming." But...for pete's sake, Miley...

...she looks like she's playing Elisabeth Shue's role in a J-Pop version of Leaving Las Vegas...

What?

Okay, you know that instantly-iconic photo of President Obama & Co in the Situation Room, monitoring the taking out of Osama bin Laden in real time?

Yeah, this one:



Well, get this:

...the Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic broadsheet Der Tzitung, published in Brooklyn...photoshopped Clinton, as well at the only other woman who could be seen in the room--Audrey Tomason, the national director of counterterrorism--out of the frame.

Wait, it gets better. Why did they do this? Because ...

Hillary Clinton's expression, right hand clasped over her mouth in astonishment, is largely responsible for making the above photo iconic--and, to at least one newspaper, sexually suggestive.

Apparently this paper has a policy of never printing pictures of women, for precisely the same reason.

Now friends, you in my vast reading audience know...I don't have to look too far to find a situation or a picture sexually suggestive. I have a filthy mind with the best of 'em and I make little secret of it. But oh, my God...

This reminds us we have radical religions in this country too. It's also like the old saying: You're entitled to your opinion, but you're not entitled to your own facts.

Women were in the room at that moment. A woman is the freakin' Secretary of State. Another is national director of counterterrorism (I'd like to think she's a real life Chloe from the good seasons of 24). I presume they took no small part in the discussions that led to the President's decision.

As sexist as their policy may be (in fact, is), the editors and/or publishers have a right to that policy. They don't have the right to change history.

For those of you playing at home...

Andy Card is the guy who set up George W. Bush's "Mission Accomplished" thing. You remember that (and if you don't, follow that link). However, Card feels that President Obama has not shown nearly enough humility about the whole actually having taken out Osama bin Laden thing.

Ever see something that you know is supposed to be kinda sexy and/or funny, and yet...no?