Dude!

Ok--you know how my feelings on Natalie Portman are, shall we say, a tad mixed? Sometimes I think she doesn't really try as an actress (the Star Wars movies), but she can also be really good (Garden State).

Based on her public statements and such I suspect she's really a very silly person, but that's not a crime (or even rare) among actresses and anyway, I may be wrong.

But what's long been undeniable is that she was cute as a button with a curvy bod of the kind that makes men want to father children.

Even if she mostly chooses to keep it covered (which is certainly her right).

So I'm left to wonder: HTF do you conspire to make her look as creepily photoshopped as she does on this cover?