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"I can't go home unless I know where it is."
--Teddy, Huff, "Is She Dead?" written by Bob Lowry
This is a post I'll probably regret in the morning but fuck it. I want to go home and everything's wrong in my life and I don't know how to fix it and I'm getting old and I'm finding fucking grey hairs.
Grey hairs (!) on my temples and I'm so scared, I'm so fucking scared that nothing's ever going to happen with...I can't even type it because it makes me cry. But if you know me you probably know what I'm scared is never going to happen.
I feel like I'm not good at showing how much help I think I really need. Because when I'm around people or when I'm writing, as in this blog, for an "audience" I'm too well-trained at being witty and smart.
I can do all sorts of cool things, but I don't know how to live.
(PS: By the way it has nothing to do with the two guys-who I didn't even see when I found the picture-and everything to do with the Golden Gate)
1 comment:
Ben, consider yourself hugged. I wish I could hug you in person. I'm sorry that you are hurting and sad. You are a good-hearted person, and you deserve happiness. Call me if you need to, okay?
A'mee
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