Saturday, July 07, 2007

The chicks are packed! THE CHICKS ARE PACKED!

Every cloud has a silver lining, I'm rolling all sixes, I am relaxed, refreshed, and reborn with all the hope of a newborn babe.

Why?

Why, do you ask?

Because Bill O'Reilly...the last angry man...recently aired a segment stating that (pink gun-carrying) lesbian gangs are raping young girls and otherwise terrorizing people.

Now, most of you know by now that I have written a book which is in part a portrayal of a lesbian relationship, and it's left me with two lesbians living in my head. I tend to get a little concerned about such declarations of insanity.

But when they come from known evil liars and spin doctors like O'Reilly, the best thing to do is just make fun of them.

Especially when...

(but wait, there's more)

Where does O'Reilly say one of these gangs of girls together outrageously is located?

(come to papa...)


...Tennessee!

Yes! A hat trick! A chance to make fun of homophobes, Bill O'Reilly and the state of Tennessee in one posting!

Those people weren't crazy, 7-7-07 is a lucky day (note to self: Play the lottery)!

My mother taught me the proper thing to do in situations like this.

So, Mr. O'Reilly, should you be looking in, this is for you.

I'm gonna help you out. What you're doing is remembering The Warriors.

But because you were probably high when you watched, you thought the all-female gang-who we're not at all supposed to think are homosexual, they're only called "The Lizzies"-were real. They scared you, didn't they, Bill?



There there. Watch this clip and you'll see they were actually just some babes who took a liking to the men. Really.

Trust me. Would I lie to you about such an obviously traumatic experience?

Just watch this clip, Bill, and you'll feel better.

Besides, as you can see, with or without a pink gun, females are notoriously poor shots.

Sleep tight., Bill.






Thanks to Zaius Nation for hipping me to this, and topping it off with the above image.

2 comments:

Dr. Zaius said...

I didn't know that Roseanne Roseannadanna was in that piture!

Ben Varkentine said...

Hey, get back to work, Dr!