I've been thinking about suicide.

I most emphatically don't mean that I've been thinking about it for myself. Just that a number of things seem almost to have conspired in the past few days to get me thinking about the act.

Finding that self-portrait of Francesca Woodman and the very nice picture of Marilyn Monroe. And then reading about that poor depressed girl Megan Meier, not to mention the biography of Kurt Cobain.

And then this afternoon, somebody found this blog by searching for "I'm going to kill myself." (What they found was just my wiseass reaction to a quiz that said the "Annoying B-list Celebrity" I am is Pauly Shore, BTW.)

So, I just want to say, though I hope it's unnecessary and it probably is: I don't want to die. I want to live, I want to make things, and I may even one day want to make a baby.

I want to be free. I want to...