1. A trampy girl tries to use her very trampiness to escape death. It doesn't work, but you gotta give credit...
...is from an odd little movie called
The Funhouse.
Now, the reason why I call it "odd" is because while it's really not very good, it did get one of the better novelizations ever written, by Dean Koontz, originally published under the name Owen West.
The book contains so much backstory and character whatchamacallit--depth--that if you see the movie after reading the book, as I did, you can't help but be disappointed, as I was.
3. Having just gotten a machete in his head, the killer falls. When the machete hits the floor, the killer's head slides down it till he comes to a rest.
...would be Jason's "death" scene from Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter.
I would say that this is one of the best in the neverending series, but when you're dealing with the Friday formula, that's very much a matter of personal preference.
However, director Joseph Zito did manage to make this one impressively scary, something few of the others really managed.
Some better actors than you sometimes get in this kind of thing (I mean, have you seen "The Burning?"), too.
4. Pretty blonde heroine telepathically uses the rampaging murderers own icon against him, slicing into his skull with it until it (the icon) shatters...
...is a scene from Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood. This was the first Friday the 13th movie I saw in a theater.
Sometimes called "Jason Vs. Carrie" by viewers because of its telepathic heroine, it also marks a divergence in the franchise for more than one reason.
Unfortunately, none of those reasons is unstereotyped, non-token characters, this is one of the worst in that regard.
The screenplay also gives one of the killed girls some really piss-poor last words: "Ok, you big hunk of a man, come and get me!" (She thinks she's calling to her boyfriend, but really...oh, you get the picture)
But in most of the first six (dear god) movies the killer is your basic force of nature, his appearances are scares, you see them, and someone's going to die.
In VII, the movie becomes all about Jason, the camera staying on him for long, ponderous stalking scenes.
But he does have the coolest make-up in this one, I like it, anyway.
This is four minutes of scenes from the movie cut together, including the one I described. Enjoy.
The man who posted that to YouTube wonders if the film was meant to be more humor than horror. I see his point, but I don't know. One thing I do know, is that
5. The killer decapitates three people with one swipe of his machete.
...is one of the many reasons Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI
is an out-and-out comedy. Look at the facts: The first person to be killed in the film (by having his heart punched out from behind, no less) is the guy who used to play "Horshack" on Welcome Back, Kotter.
That is what they call tipping your hand.
And then there's the...well trust me, it's a comedy. Just look at this:
And this:
The fellow playing Jason with the comedy timing is C. J. Graham (augmented by stuntmen)
BTW. Fun fact: The woman who starred in the film, Jennifer Cooke (also known by SF fans of the '80s for V), later married the founder of the Celestial Seasonings tea company.
6. A killer lifts his victim into the air and stabs him through the stomach, pinning him on the wall off his feet, then stands there just looking at the victim for a moment...
...would be a scene from Halloween (the good one, directed by John Carpenter).
Fun fact: Nick Castle, who played "the shape", later co-wrote the Snake Plissken films with Carpenter, and directed The Last Starfighter, among others.
7. In one of the most infamously homoerotic slasher-horror films ever made, an ex-Marine coach dies in a high school shower room.
...is a scene from A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge , wherein the true nightmare would seem to be touching a girl.
Honestly, it's gayer than a wardrobe full of Dynasty costumes. If you haven't seen it, or if it's been a while, read the above review from my favorite web site devoted to looking at horror movies from a queer perspective, Camp Blood.
And you'll be convinced, as the reviewer is, that this was "The Gaypex of Horror Cinema."
10. A man whose first child has already been killed learns that his second child has been kidnapped. She has a limited supply of air; he himself has just murdered the only person who knows where she is, and now there is no way to get her back.
...is the last trap in Saw III.
If you haven't seen the Saw films (I love 'em), and think you may choose to, you shouldn't follow that link or watch this video. Then again, if you haven't, they won't make much sense to you (if any), anyway...
And, finally:
11. A missing person is revealed to have been closer to the people who are searching for him than they could have possibly imagined.
To find the answer, click below. The deranged Zen master wants to play...
(the answer to which movie it is, I mean. I'm not going to tell you how that particular mystery works out, and neither is the trailer below)
LOOK CLOSER DETECTIVE MATTHEWS
...but if you really must know, this'll tell you.
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