Thursday, March 15, 2012

Sucker Punches fall with Crashes in Epic Movies

(or, "In which--for no apparent reason*--I illustrate this whole "50 Most Hated Films" thing with almost nothing but lovely women and a couple of favorite Robot Chicken bits")

31. Sucker Punch

Haven't seen it. It is, however, another of the really good episodes of How Did This Get Made?

32. Crash (2005)

Haven't seen, nothing to say.

33. The Spirit

Hoo boy. I tried to watch this once, on cable, because I had respect for Will Eisner, who created the character. I didn't get very far.

34. Van Helsing

Finally, one that I've actually seen...but I remember almost nothing about it, which should tell you something. Fred Dekker's Monster Squad covered the same area to much better satisfaction.

35. Godzilla (1998)

Never saw it. I'd rather stare at wallpaper.

36. The Matrix Reloaded/The Matrix Revolutions

Believe it or not, I've never seen any of the Matrix movies, no, not even the first one.

37. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

I can sort-of say that I saw this, but I zipped through it on DVR. From what I saw, while there are horror franchises that can succeed with an ever-changing lineup of faces "behind the mask," (Scream is one) this isn't one of them. Without Robert Englund, it's not Freddy Kruger, and without Freddy Kruger, it's not a Nightmare.

38. Clash of the Titans (2010)

I watched just enough of this, again on cable, to get to the cameo by Bubu, the mechanical owl from the original. So I don't feel qualified to judge it, but not only for that reason.


Just because of the age I was when that first movie came out, it's one of those that is "in my matrix" as I like to say. So any remake, was always gonna make me grumble, cry blasphemy, and mourn my inner 10-year-old.

39. Epic Movie

Haven't seen it. Has anyone?

40. Swept Away (2002)

Call it a hunch but I have a feeling this movie really is that bad.

*I mean, aside from the obvious.

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