I have just made an appointment to go into a clinic in a couple of weeks with an eye towards getting some anti-depressant medication. It's not something I'm doing lightly. But my life hasn't been something I've been happy with in longer than I can, or maybe choose to, remember.
I've been in therapy for two or three years (plus at least a couple when I was younger), and one of the reasons I chose my current therapist is that she didn't push medication right away. When I was "interviewing" potential candidates by phone, I had one person who, on the basis on one phone call with no in-person meeting, tried to throw meds at me.
I didn't like that much.
I think I resisted the idea of being clinically depressed for a long time because, for lack of a better phrase, I have this horror of being a "drama queen"-probably for the same reason that censors don't like to be called censors.
I need something to help me come unstuck from this jam I seem to be in, in my life, and at present, this seems to be the likeliest way out. Because I do need some way out, and every other method I can think of-at least those over which I have any immediate control-well, they all look like walls.
6 comments:
This is perhaps the most personal post you have ever written here. Regardless, good luck, Ben.
I never had to go on meds, but I probably should have. Several years ago, I was always trying to provoke fights, hoping to have an excuse to mess somebody up, but nobody took me up on it. My depression has gotten so much better that it is now only a memory. Good luck to you, Ben.
Alan Coil
I've been on Prozac for over a year now. I was resistant to the idea of taking meds for a long time, but it has helped me to cope with life.
Recently I was thinking about whether it was time to stop taking it as I was frustrated with being tired and lethargic for so much of the time, but my doctor felt that it was time to up the medication as my body was getting used to it and my depression was apparently raising its head again.
Medication will give you some breathing space, but it probably won't cure the problem if it's symptomatic of other issues in your life. I think that's why I need to address my own issues now - I don't want to be on Prozac for the rest of my life if I can help it.
That said, you have to do what's best for you. Good luck and take care of yourself.
I can relate to everything you're saying right now, believe me.
Wishing you the best...
Make sure to keep seeing your therapist, along with taking medication. Call me if you want. I'll be thinking about you.
A'mee
Thanks, hon. Thanks everybody.
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