G.I. Shmoe?

If rumors are to be believed, director Stephen Sommers has been fired from the G.I. Joe movie while others try to edit it into a releasable status.

Sommers has made some good...well, maybe not good, but dumb-but-fun movies (the first two Mummys, Deep Rising). And "dumb-but-fun" is mostly all I was expecting from a G.I. Joe movie.

So, I have no idea A if this is true, and B, whether the firing is deserved if it is true. What I do know is that if they gave a "Razzie" for the worst trailer, this would win in a heartbeat.

First...try not to notice that eighth Doctor Who (I don't count McGann) actor Christopher Eccleston is apparently in this, something I either didn't know or had forgotten. I guess he wanted to know what it was like to do a big-budget, small-ideas project for a change.

Second, notice how the global icon destroyed is the Eiffel Tower so the John-Kerry-looked-French crowd won't be offended.

Third, ask yourself if this doesn't look as if it had been made by somebody who didn't know that Team America: World Police ...was a satire (more effectively of '80s action movies than of 21st century politics, IMO, but that's another post).

Fourth, take a drink every time there's an explosion and/or bodies go flying. If they crash through a window of any kind, take two drinks.

Fifth, dig the incredibly clichéd end-of-an-action-movie trailer, where everything gets louder and LOUDER until suddenly it all stops, someone says something meant to be portentous but only pompous, and then the explosions start again before the opening date appears on the screen.



Phew!