Friday, October 31, 2008

Bad movies for Halloween

the 10 worst "horror" movies I've ever seen:

(in no particular order)

The Fly II. One of the best things about the Charles Edward Pogue/David Cronenberg Fly was that the tension was so well maintained, and Jeff Goldblum's performance was so good. By the end when the transition is complete, you're still identifying with and thinking of the fly-creature, now completely SFX, as the man he was.

Not so The Fly II. When Eric Stolz transforms, all you're thinking is "Look! A rubber marionette!"

Most people have probably forgotten that Daphne Zuniga was in this movie, as I'm sure she would like them to.



All the Halloween sequels except 4. Shoddiest ever made.



Freddy vs. Jason. You know, I don't expect most of these films not to insult my intelligence. But FvJ actually stops its plot (such as it is) cold to look dead on at the camera, explain the plot again and then say "everybody got that?"

It does, I swear it.

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake). I've recently come to realize that this is one of my "goto" films for worst movie comparisons. As in, "Saw IV was the least of that series to date, but compared to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, it's Hitchcock's Rear Window."

And speaking of the Saw films...

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Hostel is everything I thought the Saw films were before I saw them: Thoughtless, poorly acted "torture-porn."


Beyond Re-Animator. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. And by mighty, I mean Jeffrey Combs, who owns this movie, but even he can't hold it up.

At least Bride of gave us the line, talking of a group of monsters: "My god! They're using tools!"

The Funhouse. This movie is just seedy. And not in a good way. For more, see here.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge. Gayer than a Pet Shop Boys concert but not nearly as lovable. Do not let this movie, which gives both horror and camp a bad name, taint your mind.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. He's back. And this time, it's a pleasure cruise.

Jason X. Monstrously bad, though featuring an actress I'd like to see more of, Melyssa Ade, in a supporting role.

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