Actually, these are all good songs, I don't care what anybody says

Guilty Pleasures: Random Confessions Of The ’80s Man

Cause there's a meme goin' around...Okay. I’m going to list some nominations, and I’ll let the people decide which I should be most ashamed of…

Music, or embarrassing records that I actually, secretly don’t want to smash:

(with YouTube clips and other illustrations)





After Eight”, by Taco. Used to have this on cassette but somehow lost it, though it’s probably somewhere in this apartment. I pretty much love the version of “Singing In The Rain” full stop.

I was playing the vinyl version of this album at work once though, and the record skipped during “Puttin’ On The Ritz”.

Unfortunately it was during the percussion break so I didn’t notice for like 20 minutes.

Actually, what makes this album work is the fact that most of the songs are so classic (”I Should Care”) that even the cheesiest of synths can’t hurt them.

“Too Shy The Singles And More”, by Kajagoogoo and Lihmal. There’s scarcely a track on here that doesn’t have something wrong with it. A stupid lyric, a bad keyboard part, or some combination. Only possible exceptions: “Neverending Story” and the “Hang On Now” extended mix.

Which, oddly enough, you can hear over this slideshow of images of Mena Suvari.



No, I don't know what the connection is either, but I like this mix and Suvari is beautiful...

Also see: This Time-The 1st 4 Years, by Culture Club. Unlike most Culture Club retrospectives, this one includes “War Song,” a catchy-but-stupid (or vice versa) attempt to get a slice of the “Two Tribes” pie. CC would rather forget this song existed; not so fast, says I.



Def Leppard's Hysteria. I have a whole theory worked out to explain this one; it revolves around the idea that Def Leppard is actually a techno pop band (remember, "techno" doesn't always mean "synth.")

“Straight Up”, by Paula Abdul. Oh-oh-oh. A brilliant record of a stupid song. I've asked the remarkably psychotic (but still slightly-more-dimensional than Abdul) Harley Quinn to give us her interpretation of this number. Harley?



The stretch for the rhyme of “Are you more than hot for me, or am I a page in your history…book?” is the most endearingly awkward lyric since…

“Wishing (If I Had A Photograph Of You) by Flock Of Seagulls. The only hit by this very definition of a “haircut band” that I’ve got much time for.

Kylie Minogue. “I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky lucky.” Need I say more? Just look at her, she's glorious.



Also for the fact that if I’d have offered to bet you $150 in 1988 that 20 years later Kylie would not only still be considered a sex symbol…

(I mean, you may think you’ve got your manners going on, but were you voted the woman men would most like to have phone sex with?)

(Ok, so I made up the "sex" part of that...but I think it's implied.)

…but would also still be having hits, any one of you would have covered my money. Including Kylie herself, most likely. Face it, she's indestructible. No wonder her doll hangs out with Wonder Woman's doll.

Bros. I still have no idea how to pronounce this. Bros feature heavily in “Literally” (A book about Pet Shop Boys) so when I found their album cheap I picked it up on curiosity alone.

It’s almost touching how badly they seem to want to be PSB, especially on “When Will I Be Famous”. I like that track, and two or three of the others are good as well, but it’s not like you can’t tell why they were a 2 or three hit wonder (Probably generous).

Trivia: former Bros singer Luke Goss played the elf prince Nuada in Hellboy II.

Toto's "Africa."

Jan Hammer Miami Vice Theme. You know you'll never forget it.



I Want Candy -- Bow Wow Wow. Forever for me associated with the Private School movie shower scene, in which it plays throughout.


Double your pleasure, double your guilt...

And, of course,

I'd tag George, but he's already done it...