Hey, a movie!

Some blogs, I know, do this kind of thing every week, but I find once a year is better for my style--and yours, my vast reading audience. That's right, it's time to play...movie quotes!

How many can you name? And no fair cheating by looking them up; I'll know.

Some of these are more obscure than others, and some of them I'm really not giving you much to work with, 'cause I'm fucked up like that. So I'll give hints for a few, more will follow in two or three days for the ones none of you get.

One (hint: This is the last line of this film, but is sometimes cut from commercial television broadcasts, which has the effect of hollowing the whole film out as far as I'm concerned.)

"You can't come in here."

Two:

Maurice: I will die soon...Can I touch your hand?
Jessie: That's one chat-up line I haven't heard.
Maurice: I'm impotent, of course.
Jessie: Thank Christ.
Maurice: But I can still take a theoretical interest.
Jessie: Have you been thinking about me?
Maurice: All the time I was in hospital.
Jessie: What did you think about me?
Maurice: I saw your body.
Jessie: Which part?
Maurice: Your hair. Your feet. Your legs, your behind, your eyes.
Jessie: My eyes?
Maurice: Your elbows. Your cunt.
Jessie: Oh, shut up. You can touch my hand.

Three:

Time and time again I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me -- and they do

Four:

"Later, in the Men's Department, the jungle king was pleased to find he looked pretty good in Armani."
"Pretty darn good."

Five:

"Did you ever dream about a place you never really recall being to before? A place that maybe only exists in your imagination? Some place far away, half remembered when you wake up. When you were there, though, you knew the language. You knew your way around. *That* was the sixties. [pause] No. It wasn't that either. It was just '66 and early '67. That's all there was."

Six (And this one, you get another early hint for: I don't mean any of the Lethal Weapon movies):

"I'm gettin' too old for this shit."

Seven:

"I like your boobs. I think they're very friendly and unpretentious."

Eight:

"There's always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all! Simplicity! Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience."

Nine:

"You see that house? That is where I was born. My mother said to me, 'Garcon. The world is a beautiful place, and you must spread joy and contentment everywhere you go'. And so I became a waiter... Well, I know it is not a great philosophy but...[pauses] Well, fuck you! I can live my life in my own way if I want to."

10 (hint: a little boy's last words before ascending to heaven)

"Goodbye, you guys."

11:

"And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above points his hand at our side of the field; even if every man woman and child joined hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk 'cause they've got all the money! It just doesn't matter if we win...or we lose. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER!"

12:

(a teenaged boy is watching a woman in her late 30's take clean laundry out of a basket)

Boy: Can I eat you out?
Woman: Not now. Folding.

13:

"Hello, Mr. Griffith."
"Hello, Mrs. Page."

14:

(man to his dying son)

"Pesaram, I am here!"

15:

"Another reason, um, I didn't call you sooner is because I wanted to finish your book, which I finally did last night. And I think it's really lovely, Miles. You're so good with words. Who cares if it's not getting published? There are so many beautiful and... painful things about it. Did you really go through all that? Must have been awful. And the sister character - jeez, what a wreck. But I have to say that, well, I was really confused by the ending. I mean, did the father finally commit suicide, or what? It's driving me crazy. Anyway, it's turned cold and rainy here lately, but I like winter. So, listen, if you ever do decide to come up here again, you should let me know. I would say stop by the restaurant, but to tell you the truth, I'm not sure how much longer I'm gonna be working there, because I'm going to graduate soon. So, I'll probably want to relocate. I mean, we'll see. Anyway, like I said, I really loved your novel. Don't give up, Miles. Keep writing."

16:

"You'll be hung!"
"Oh I am, I am, and very well thank you."

17:

"I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek."

And finally, 18:

Woman: Have you broken something?
Man: Only my tailor's heart.
[She kisses him]
Man: What was that for?
Woman: For saving my life.
Man: Remind me to do it more often.