Taking on Thompson.

Ok. As you might imagine, my feelings on Fred Thompson don't run much deeper than this: He's a former senator from the black-hearted, amateur, spooky-ass, idiotic, anti-sex, vituperative state of Tennessee. Such a man cannot possibly be healthy for this country.

But as it turns out, there are actually other reasons to oppose his apparent (though as yet undeclared) candidacy, although frankly, the above should be enough for any of you. And it's not because he used to be an actor, either-he was the bomb in Hunt For Red October and Die Hard 2.

Although that other career does make me suspicious of him as an opportunist. But I'll get to that later. Speaking of the Die Hard movies, here's the deal. Thompson's whole schtick-seen in his recent appearance on the Tonight Show-is to cast himself as a kind of John McClane of politics.

In the "Best Action Movies" issue of Entertainment Weekly which came out recently, Bruce Willis is quoted as saying of his character,

"...if he had the choice of someone else stepping up and doing what he had to do, he would let them do it. But since no one else shows up, he has to do it himself."

Keep that in mind. By the way, just as a side note, pro-Willis forces, paid or otherwise, are obviously pumping up the IMDb ratings for Live Free Or Die Hard. Check out the "filmography by rating" at Willis' page there.

Live Free is rated fourth. This means that, according to IMDb readers, this movie, which is not even out yet, is better than The Sixth Sense, the first Die Hard, 12 Monkeys, Moonlighting, Unbreakable and Nobody's Fool.

Right.

And now back to Thompson. Remember what Willis said in the quote above? Here's what Thompson said to Leno:

The actor and former Tennessee senator appeared on the "Tonight Show," telling Jay Leno he's never "craved" the job but he wants "to do some things that only a president can do." And he made a point to mention the Web site for his political committee. He also griped about campaigns he says are "entirely too long."

Thompson is best known for playing a prosecutor on NBC's "Law and Order." He quipped that after eight years in the Senate, he "longed for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood."

The reluctant hero! Only problem is, it's hard-or it should be-to cast yourself as anti-Government when...well according to an item on Yahoo! News:

Fred Thompson, a likely Republican presidential candidate, on Tuesday defended his work as a Washington lobbyist, telling The Associated Press that lobbying is an important part of life because "government's got their hands in everything."

Ok...so...he hates the political process; he thinks it's dishonest. He sees lobbying as a necessary evil but if he had the choice he'd like to see the Government take more of a "hands-off" approach. Being a good republican and all.

Does that sound like an accurate reflection of what he'd like us to believe? I mean, saying he may believe that but he doesn't mind getting rich from it would be cyncial. As cynical as he is. Read on.

The actor and former U.S. senator from Tennessee added, "Nobody yet has pointed out any of my clients that didn't deserve representation."

Well, fair enough! The man believes in representative government. Let's see, who are some clients that, from Thompson's own lips, we know he thought "deserved representation?"

Thompson, who likes to cast himself as a political outsider, earned more than $1 million lobbying the federal government for more than 20 years. He lobbied for a savings-and-loan deregulation bill that helped hasten the industry's collapse and a failed nuclear energy project that cost taxpayers more than a billion dollars.

He also was a lobbyist for deposed Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, who was widely criticized for endorsing "necklacing," the gruesome practice of execution where gasoline-soaked tires are thrown over a person's neck and set ablaze.

All emphasis mine. BTW, that bit where the writer, Erik Schelzig, recorded a statement Thompson made and then reported whether or not the evidence tended to support it? That is called "fufilling the role of the press."

It may be scary because we see so little of it these days, but don't let it throw you.