Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Rome wasn't built in a day. but now it's a ruin, the joke has worn thin. and it isn't cool to abuse the ability to swing.

This evening I had one of those experiences which tells you what kind of man you are.

At least several weeks ago-probably months-my mother's partner's son, who lives in Thailand, came for a visit. He brought everyone little "blessed Buddha" pendants, small carvings that were blessed by an actual Buddhist priest, then encased in plastic.

I liked wearing mine. For reasons I've described as "part spiritual placebo, part fashion," but I did genuinely like wearing it. Then the cord I used to tie it around my neck broke.

So, I attached it to my key chain, which I thought was very jaunty. Then the little metal loop that attached it to the key chain broke.

My first interpretation of the symbolism of this was that grace kept falling away from me. Then Sarah, my therapist, suggested it was more that it needed to keep moving around. I liked her interpretation better.

So I've been carrying this around in my pocket for awhile, and tonight I went to a supply store-the kind that smelt of Patchouli oil-to have the cord replaced. They sold cord by the foot, and I bought about three feet, which cost 51 cents. I gave the girl behind the counter a dollar.

She gave me change for a $10.

I thanked her, walked quickly to my car and drove away, cackling evilly.

That's the sort of man I am.

Seriously, I laughed for what felt like at least the next five minutes. I looked at it as the universe giving me a gift-I go in to buy a piece of cord and make a profit of almost $10. And I was really starting to feel entertained by myself and impressed by it all.

Then I was startled by a car poking its nose out of a driveway. And I said to myself-I really did-"This is a sign from the universe. We do not strut."

I keep thinking of the scene from Karate Kid-a movie that has always stayed with me-where Pat Morita steals a belt for Ralph Macchio for the tournament. And when Macchio asks him where it came from:


Buddha provide.

3 comments:

jeopardygirl said...

I looked at it as the universe giving me a gift-I go in to buy a piece of cord and make a profit of almost $10. And I was really starting to feel entertained by myself and impressed by it all.

...and this is where we find out how different you and I are. I would have not skipped out to my car. I would have quickly, gently corrected her math and taken my proper change.

This is not a judgment against you at all, I say "if you think you can get away with it, go for it." My conscience, however, would fill me with ten kinds of guilt about it because I guess to my mind, it's almost tantamount to theft.

I mean, yes, this girl made a mistake to your benefit (oh, btw, if a bank does it, all bets are off, that money is mine), but what if this was the last mistake she makes at that job and gets fired? What if she's anal retentive like me and freaks out at the end of the night because her float won't balance? It's that kind of mental anguish I don't want to spread around just because I got extra change.

On the other hand, on a Tuesday, that change is a movie ticket and a drink, so who knows, really...

Mana, Master of Mischief said...

How mischievous of you. I think you know you've been a bad boy. I find it interesting though that you can go into a store and walk away with $.51 in merchandise. How focused is that? I either walk away with nothing, or with at least $6 in merchandise, even if it's a dollar store!

Ben Varkentine said...

It's not focus, it's poverty...which is also where the mischievous comes in.